


It Happened One Night (And a Few Times After That)

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst and Humor, Emotional Abuse, F/F, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friendship/Love, Happy, M/M, Past Abuse, References to Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2017-12-03 11:01:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 82,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/697548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas' relationship has evolved from being strangers to roommates, and from roommates to friends, and from friends to "we're just friends."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. August 19

Dean and Cas are friends. It didn’t start off that way, of course. 

They met during their freshman year at UCLA. Dean Winchester was a typical ladies’ man, played varsity football, worked as a mechanic during his free time, and possessed just about every possible physical characteristic that would make anyone swoon. Castiel Novak, however, was quiet and reserved, content with being alone with a nice book to keep him occupied. His looks were striking (and possibly a little intimidating), making him come off as "dark and mysterious."

When Dean first saw Castiel, it was at the mandatory freshman get-together. Castiel was sitting by himself at a table, fully immersed in _Anna Karenina._ Dean was surrounded by a talkative and eccentric group, all blabbing about nothing in particular. Dean had looked over at the man sitting by himself, and as if he could feel his gaze, he looked up and made eye contact. Dean gave him an acknowledging nod and small smile, at which Castiel furrowed his brow and looked back down at his book. Dean immediately disregarded him and returned his attention to his friends.

Dean spent most of his days hanging out with his friends at the pool hall when they should be in class, and sleeping during the classes he actually attended. He went to parties every weekend- as well as a few school days- and made plenty of new female “acquaintances.” Castiel attended all of his advanced placement classes, did all of his work, and still had time to work at the bookstore/café, For Whom the Coffee Brews. He made two good friends rather easily; they all were in most of the same classes and ended up working together at ‘Brews. Dean and Castiel were practically on different hemispheres. 

That is, until, Dean’s first roommate filed for a room switch because of Dean’s constant ruckus. At the time, Castiel was situated in an extra room by himself- his roommate dropped out pretty early and the school hadn’t assigned him a new one. After being practically kicked out of his room, Dean was reassigned to live with Castiel. It was awkward for the first few months since the boys were so different, but eventually they became fonder of each other. Dean exposed Cas (Dean’s appointed nickname) to the world of college sports and leisurely activities, and Cas got Dean to attend most of his morning classes and limit his partying to twice a week. The fondness turned to friendship, which in turn led to best friendship. When they returned for their sophomore year, they requested to be roommates again.

&&

“And to get the reference angle, you need to subtract pi from your angle, and so-"

“ _Cas_ ,” Dean groaned. Cas gave him an exasperated look. The men were sitting at the study table in their common room, and Cas was trying to tutor Dean. They had been studying for almost an hour, not even long enough for Dean to begin to grasp the concept of the lesson. It wasn't Dean's fault this shit was boring. Cas was a good tutor, but not _that_ good of a tutor.

“You’re never going to get this if you don’t pay attention,” Cas warned.

“Can’t we just take a break or something? We’ve been at this for 6 hours.” He closed his eyes and stretched. Alright, maybe it was an exaggeration, but it felt like 6 hours.

“Dean, it has only been an hour; you’re being a baby.” Dean knew Cas didn’t want to take a break, but he put down his pencil and sat back in his chair anyways. Dean tried his best to give him his brother’s signature puppy eyes.

“Pwease, Cassie, can we take a bweak?” He pouted his bottom lip out and batted his eye lashes.

Cas chuckled and rolled his eyes. He threw up his hands in mock-defeat. “Whatever." He slotted his eyes and pointed a warning finger at Dean. "Just don’t ever call me Cassie again.” Dean grinned and stood up quickly. “This is a break, so don’t throw a fit when we come back to this in fifteen minutes.”

Dean let out a laugh as he headed to the refrigerator, ignoring Cas’ warning. “You want a soda?” He called over his shoulder.

Cas followed and leaned against the kitchen island. “Yeah.” 

Dean tossed him a can and opened his own, sitting on top of the counter across from his friend. “You going to Jo’s party tonight?”

Cas snorted sarcastically into his can. “Yeah, me going to a party. I’m sure that would go over well.”

“There’s nothing wrong with taking a night off once in a while, Cas. You work way too hard.” Dean wasn't lying. Cas was the hardest-working guy he knew- aside from Sam- and he never took a break. Always had to keep pushing. Dean was convinced Cas would snap from over-exertion one of these days.

“I know, but parties aren’t my thing,” Cas replied. _Always ready with an excuse._

Dean gave him a funny look before deciding what would convince him to go. “What is there not to enjoy? Loud music, fun games, loose women- the beer is pretty shitty, but it gets the job done.”

Cas stared at his can and hesitated. “I wasn’t invited.” Dean groaned and rolled his eyes. Getting off the counter, he walked over and placed a hand on Cas’ shoulder.

“Nobody's invited, Cas. It’s college. You just… go.” When Cas opened his mouth to reply, Dean cut him off. “Please come. I promise you’ll have fun. Besides, there are a ton of chicks that I know will want a piece of that.” Dean winked at him. "Trust me."

Cas sighed and gave in. “Fine. I’ll go.” Dean smiled victoriously. He could always wear Cas down from his infinite supply of excuses. He had maybe two seconds to imagine what their night would be like before Cas was changing the subject. "But since I'm going, you have to get back to studying." Dean scoffed incredulously. _Bastard_.

&&

“Triple grande skinny caramel latte for Jenny?” Charlie called out from behind the counter. A cute girl with short blonde hair claimed the cup and smiled at Charlie. She blushed and looked down, a move Castiel was more than familiar with by now. As the girl walked away, Charlie looked back up and shamelessly checked out the her butt. Chuck snorted and shook his head.

“Damn, Charlie, how long has it been?” 

Charlie sighed. “Comic-Con.” 

“You need to get laid.” She nodded eagerly in agreement.

Castiel laughed and started cleaning the counters while they didn’t have any customers. Chuck and Charlie were his two best friends- aside from Dean, of course. Chuck Shurley is a shorter, skinny guy who generally looked disheveled and lost. He’s a writer, so he was usually jotting down ideas or lines on napkins and shoving them in his pockets for later. Cas always thought of him as a good writer, but his stories usually consumed him a little too much to be considered healthy. Charlie Bradbury is your typical cute, nerdy lesbian. She’s fun and sassy, quick-witted, and a complete genius, all of which make her so appealing to Cas. Her bright red hair and flambuoant outfits paired her personality perfectly. She’s usually talking about her theories about the shows or movies she watches, or something she saw on her blogsite. Castiel’s friends were definitely unique, but he loved them for it.

“Why don’t you come to Jo Harvelle’s party tonight?” Cas asked.

“A party? Since when do you go to parties?” Chuck questioned incredulously. Cas rolled his eyes.

“Dean begged me to go,” he answered. He turned back to Charlie. “He said there will be lots of loose and inebriated women.” 

“Then you can count me in. I might even try to hit up the hostess. That Jo sure is one fine piece.” Charlie grinned and waggled her eyebrows.

“You’re such a slut,” Chuck snorted.

Charlie punched him in the arm. “Am not. I just have an appreciation for butches in femmes’ bodies, is all. Excuse me for wanting to actually socialize instead of sitting on my computer all night writing about some dumb brothers who fight monsters and have sex with each other or some shit.” 

By this point, Castiel was practically tearing up from laughing so hard, and Chuck’s face was as red as humanly possible. A few customers had actually turned around and watched, but Cas held up a hand to them apologetically.

“They do not have sex with each other! Why does everyone think that? They’re brothers!” 

“Exactly, Chuck! Maybe you should stop writing it that way and people would stop thinking they’re fucking.” 

“BUT THEY-“ Chuck looked like the vein in his forehead was about to pop, and Castiel decided it was time to break it up.

“Okay, come on. Chuck, your stories are fine, but you do make them have some weird sexual tension.” Cas held his hand to Chuck when he tried to interject. Charlie stuck out her tongue at him. “And Charlie, you are a bit of a slut.” Chuck stuck his tongue out at her. “Now, are you guys going to come with me tonight? I could really use some friends that will stick with me.”

“Yeah, totally,” Charlie accepted. They both looked at Chuck, who seemed as nervous as before.

“I guess I could go, but if it starts to get weird, I’m reserving the right to leave early.” 

Cas smiled at him. “Thank you. Meet me at my dorm tonight around 10 and we can walk over together.” Castiel didn't know how exactly how Dean was at parties, so he didn't want to follow him around like a lost puppy. Knowing his other friends would be there gave Cas more confidence in his having a good time tonight.

&&

They had only been at the party for ten minutes and Chuck was already trying to leave. Sure, the music was probably louder than necessary, there were couples making out around every corner and on most surfaces, and the floor was sticky with spilled beer, but it wasn't _that_ bad. Cas gave a pleading look to Dean, who was unfazed by the "lack of class," as Chuck put it.

“Dean, maybe Chuck and I should just go and you can have fun with your friends-“ Cas started hesitantly. Dean stopped guiding them through the crowd and put his hands on Cas’ shoulders.

“No. We _will_ have a good time, I promise. I’m going to get you to relax if it’s the last thing I do.” Cas gave him a feeble smile and nodded. Dean grinned and began walking again. “Let’s start off with drinks!”

“Yeah, let’s get wasted!” Charlie shouted enthusiastically. 

“Is that such a good idea? Last time you got drunk, you hooked up with a guy,” Chuck reminded her. Charlie rolled her eyes and accepted a cup of beer from Dean.

“Yeah, well, it was also the last time I got laid. So if it helps, I’m doing it. Let loose for once, spaz.” Chuck made a face at her and snatched a cup from Dean. He walked off into the crowd. _Probably going off to find a mouse hole to crawl into and feel more at home._

“You want one?” Dean asked Cas. Cas smiled and nodded eagerly. When he took the first sip, he cringed a little. “What’s wrong?”

“You really weren’t lying when you said the beer was shitty,” he retorted. Dean laughed loudly and clasped him on the back. 

“How about we get this party started?!” Charlie yelled, raising her cup. The overhearing crowd cheered along with her, and she started dancing in place. Something must've clicked in Cas because he immediately chugged his beer and hollered with her. Surprised by his enthusiasm, Dean's mouth fell open. _Always with the suprises, Cas._ Dean laughed to himself. _Fuck it._ Dean downed his beer right after him and joined in the whooping.

“Shots!” someone yelled from the crowd that had gathered around the kitchen. Charlie screamed her approval and Dean found some plastic shot cups and the liquor. Pouring the three of them four shots each and handed the bottle to another group of people. 

“Are you ready for this?” Dean asked in Cas’ ear, only loud enough for him to hear. Castiel grinned and downed his first shot. “I’ll take that as a yes!” Dean, instigating a battle, took one shot in both hands and gulped them one after the other. He winced and hissed at the sensation, but let out a holler after the taste passed.

Castiel smiled darkly at him. “You really have no idea who you’re messing with.” He swiftly picked up and downed the rest of his shots, and without missing a beat, reached over to Charlie’s two neglected shots and drank them down. He slammed the cup down and raised his hands in victory. The crowd hurrahed and a few people gave approving slaps to his back. 

“I guess I don’t.” Dean grinned and downed one shot, sliding the other over to Charlie. She gladly accepted and took Cas by the hand.

“Come on, let’s dance!” She tugged him to the connected room where everyone was packed in. Cas threw him a helpless smile and shrug over his shoulder. Dean gave his friend a thumbs-up and poured himself a beer. 

He leaned back against the wall and watched the crowd enjoy themselves. He was always fine with sitting by himself and waiting for others to approach him- as they always did. Dean scoped the room out for some girls with “potential.” There were a few decent looking girls, but none that really stuck out to him. _Not like that's ever stopped me before._ They usually start being handsy and ready to go home with him around the second hour of a party, and Dean always obliged. 

Dean looked back to his friend who was trying to survive a lady-sandwich consisting of Charlie and some girl with black hair- _Tessa or something._ Dean smirked and felt happy that he could bring Cas out of his element and show him some fun. And he was right: the ladies‘ eyes were practically glued to him.

“Who’s that hot piece of ass you came with, Deano?” A woman’s voice called out from behind him. He looked over and smiled at the two girls walking over, both a little tipsy.

“Meg! I didn’t know you were into redheads,” he teased as he pulled Jo into a side-hug. Meg and Jo had this weird friendship that Dean never understood- they were complete opposites, always hung out, and even though they swore their relationship was platonic, the sexual chemistry between them was obvious. Meg was dark-haired, devious, sassy, and the school’s token “good-time gal.” Jo was blonde, good-hearted and down to earth. She was feisty, but had a good head on her shoulders. 

“Oh, Deano, you know I don’t judge,” she said with a wink. “But I was talking about Mr. Long-lean-and-sexy over there.”

“ _That_ is Castiel Novak. I’m pretty sure you’ve heard me talking about him. We’re roommates, remember?” 

“Oh yeah. I’ve never seen him before, but I like what I see.” She was very blatantly scanning Cas up and down predatorily. 

Dean cleared his throat. “Anyways, Jo, I need to ask you something for my friend.” 

Jo turned her attention from the crowd to him absently. “Yeah, what is it?” 

“Are you into chicks?” Jo’s eyes widened a little and Meg snapped out of her fixation on Cas and stared at Jo, waiting for her answer.

“Yeah. Why?” Dean smiled to himself and tried to keep down the very hot images coming to his mind.

He nodded over to Charlie and Cas. “Charlie Bradbury is looking for some love, and I hear she thinks you’re something special.” Jo blushed and shifted her gaze to the ground and then over to the redhead across the room.

“Really?” Dean grinned and nodded. He caught Castiel’s glance and waved. Cas waved back, and Dean motioned for him and Charlie to come join them. Cas nodded and said something to Charlie before they walked over together. Jo was blushing even redder and messing with her hair to straighten it out.

“Hey. What’s up?” Cas and Charlie were shiny with perspiration and out of breath. The alcohol had caught up with them and their cheeks were flushed. 

“I wanna introduce you guys. Cas and Charlie, this is Meg and Jo,” he said as he pointed to each of them respectively. Cas smiled at them and swayed on his heels. Charlie put on her best I’m-here-to-fuck-bitches grin and extended her hand to Jo.

“Nice to finally meet you officially,” she purred. Jo blushed and nodded. Charlie asked if she wanted a drink, and they walked off together.

“That was… impressively quick,” Dean observed. Cas laughed and hiccupped. Meg saw her opportunity to get her claws into him and put her hand on his arm.

“So what about you, Clarence? You wanna get outta here?” she offered seductively. Cas giggled and tried to mumble that his name wasn’t Clarence. 

“Hey, be careful with him. He’s a virgin, after all,” Dean warned. 

Cas looked at him with confusion and Meg raised her eyebrows. “What? No I’m not.” _No way Cas could find the time to do **all** of his work **and** get laid._

“Cas, what-“ Dean was cut off by Castiel taking Meg and pinning her against the wall and kissing her passionately. He had one hand on her hip, pulling her closer, and one wrapped in her hair. She moaned in surprise and kissed him back, running her hands up his back. Dean’s jaw was practically on the floor, and all he could do was stare. _Damn does Cas look like a good kisser._

When Cas finally pulled away and turned back to him, his smiling lips were more pink and swollen, his messy hair even more disheveled. Meg stayed leaned against the wall and grinned, chest heaving. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Just because you never asked, doesn’t mean it never happened,” he said simply. Dean tried to reply, but all he could do was open and close his mouth around words he couldn't find.

“God, Deano, I don’t know how you can keep your hands off of him,” Meg teased as she ran her hands all over Cas. 

“We’re not-“ Dean started.

“Mm, that's nice. _We_ ’re going back to your room. Have fun,” she called over her shoulder and she pulled Cas with her out of sight. _Well, okay then. I’ll just sit here, I guess._

An hour later, Dean stumbled back to his dorm alone. Apparently all of the decent girls were either taken, gay, or too drunk to stay awake. When he got the door open and got inside, the lights were off and the only source of light was the moon outside of the window. He heard the bed creaking and two sets of moans. He shut the door quietly, and they apparently hadn’t heard him enter the room. 

The moans became dirtier and wetter, and Dean was glued in place. He could tell Cas was on top, and neither of them could see him. “Nnn… god,” Cas groaned. Dean’s jeans felt tighter and he palmed the growing bulge. He chewed on his lip. _I shouldn’t be here._ He saw Cas dip his head down and hoist one of Meg's legs up over his shoulder. 

“Yeah, harder, baby. Mmm, like that,” Meg purred. Cas moaned, and the creaks from the bed came faster and louder than before. Meg gasped and moved her hands from Cas' back to hold onto the headboard. “Oh yeah! Fuck, it’s so good.” Dean couldn’t take it anymore. He was painfully hard, and if he didn’t do something, he might come in his pants. Instead of interrupting, he sneaked into the bathroom connected to their dorm room. Without turning the light on, he freed his erection from the confines of his pants and began to stroke himself while he leaned against the door. The walls weren’t very thick, and he could still hear the noises from their room.

Cas groaned something unintelligible loudly and there was a thump. It sounded like someone banging something on the headboard. Meg screamed and laughed simultaneously. Dean held a whimper to himself and began to stroke faster. For some reason, he was glad Meg’s noises weren't the only things he could hear. Cas' deep, throaty sounds were... inexplicably hot. Their voices became faster and louder, the thumping noise repeating with the loud creaks of the bed springs. As soon as Cas let out a guttural groan, Dean tweaked his wrist and came with a small whimper. 

“Holy shit, Clarence. You really weren’t kidding, were you?” Dean overheard Meg comment breathily. Cas didn’t say anything, but he heard the bed spring some more. Dean cleaned himself up as much as he could for being in the dark and waited to hear something else before he walked out. 

“It was nice meeting you, Meg. I hope we can do this again sometime,” Cas said deeply. Dean could tell they were standing directly on the other side of the bathroom door, at the doorway to their dorm room.

Meg laughed. “You can bet that sweet ass of yours we will.” He heard the bed creak again, along with the door opening and shutting. Dean wanted to wait until Cas was sleeping before he emerged. He remembered how drunk Cas was, and figured it wouldn’t take him long.

After waiting five minutes, he crept out of the bathroom and over to his bed. Sure enough, Cas was laying on his stomach, snoring lightly. Dean noticed Cas hadn’t been bothered to even put his boxers back on. And Dean most certainly did not take a few seconds longer than necessary to admire the slight muscles in his back. He took his jeans off and crawled into bed. He could worry about whatever it is that just happened in the morning.


	2. August 20

The only thought in Castiel’s head the next morning was _Why the fuck do alarm clocks exist?_ The noise blared from the small box on his end table. His eyes were so tired, he couldn’t even open them as he tried to find the off button.

“Jesus fucking Christ! Just shut up!” He growled at the alarm clock as he began to hit it repeatedly. His flailing was halted by a hand and the noise stopped. “Thank _God_ ,” he mumbled and buried his face back in the pillow. 

“Shut up and go back to sleep," Dean murmured. Cas huffed a muffled laugh. "I’ll tell your professors and your boss you’re sick,” Dean added in a whisper. The sunlight that was pouring in was blocked and the room went black. Dean had put up a spare blanket and fastened it to the wall. “I got you a bottle of water, some Alka-Seltzer and some migraine tablets for when you decide to get up. And there is a trash can beside your bed if you feel like throwing up and can’t make it to the bathroom. I’ll make sure to get the work you miss and bring it back here this afternoon.”

Cas smiled weakly, eyes still closed. “Thanks, Mom,” he teased.

“Shut up, dick. Go back to sleep.” Cas made a noise of thanks and rolled back over to sleep facing the wall. Sometimes Castiel was glad Dean was so familiar with hangovers because no matter how many times he got them, Cas could never figure out how to get over them. So when he heard Dean leave the room, he sighed happily and went back to sleep.

&&

In all honesty, Dean was pretty relieved that Cas was feeling indisposed. He certainly wasn’t drunk enough to forget what happened last night, and he didn’t want to have to face his friend about it.

 _But seriously, what the fuck? Since when do I jerk off to my best friend having sex? I must have been more wasted than I thought._ Of course, he knew that last part wasn’t particularly true, but he was going through a crisis, he was allowed to comfort himself with a little lie.

Dean thought back to last night when he was watching Cas practically attack Meg’s mouth. Cas’ lips were soft and pliable, but powerful. He ever so subtly bit her bottom lip, and his tongue danced in her mouth. Dean could feel his jeans get tighter, and he was grateful there was nobody around to read the thoughts plastered all over his face.

To make things worse, he couldn’t help but think about Cas having his way with Meg; and he really didn't know who he was jealous of, which freaked him out. He remembered the way the moonlight played across his taut back, the way he could go from tender and gentle to banging her head on the headboard and almost breaking the bed in seconds. And the noises that were coming from him… _Okay, maybe I know who I'm jealous of._. Cas' already husky voice made deeper and throatier from being completely wrecked, practically rabid growls spilling from the back of his throat.

_Fucking Christ, what is going on?_ Dean was going crazy. He suddenly became very conscious of his obvious erection and all at once decided he was skipping class today.

The first thing he did was go to the bathroom and “take care of business.” _And since when did I turn into a fourteen year old hormonal boy having to jerk off every fucking day?_ Dean remembered he had promised Castiel he would take care of things for him, and called his boss. 

“Hello?” The man on the other line huffed. “Who is this?”

“Mr. Zachariah, this is Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak’s roommate-“

“What do you want?” He rushed. Dean rolled his eyes. Zachariah is probably the biggest asshole in the history of assholes. Cas hardly ever had to work with him but once a month since he was the regional manager and only had to come by in person on occasion. 

“Castiel came down with the flu and can’t make it in to work today, so I was calling a few hours ahead to make sure there was time to find someone else to work his shift,” Dean said, trying his best to remain calm and polite. He didn’t want Cas to get fired for him being his usual dick self. 

Zachariah sighed into the phone. “Will he be better by tomorrow?”

“Hopefully; he’s on bed rest today.” 

“Okay. Thank you, Mr. Westchester.”

“It’s Winch-“ He was cut off by the other line hanging up. _Dickwad._ He shoved his phone back into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper with Castiel’s classes and teachers on it. On Tuesdays and Thursdays he had two Advanced Placement classes and two honors electives. 

“How in the hell has he not collapsed from exhaustion? This is fucking ridiculous,” Dean mumbled to himself as he started walking towards Cas' classes. His friend's overwhelming ambition never failed to amaze him.

&&

_I am never leaving this bed for the rest of my life. I will give up everything and die here._ Cas thought to himself. His head was pounding, his throat was dry and sticky, and his whole body felt dirty. He looked at the bedside table. The bottle of water was there with the also-promised Alka-Seltzer and migraine tablets. He smiled to himself and took the pills before he put the seltzer in the rest of the water. He looked back over at the alarm clock; it was already 1:47 PM. He groaned as he began to worry about the classes he’s missing and work he wasn’t coming in for. _I'm going to be so behind._

Cas hadn’t been aware of the time passing since the blanket was blocking the sunlight, so he had slept for almost 12 hours. _Drinking at parties, hooking up with women I just met, and sleeping in until the afternoon- I am turning into Dean._

Dean wasn’t all delinquent, though. He was going out of his way to make sure Cas had the whole day to recover after all, and Castiel was definitely grateful for that. Dean’s natural maternal and protective instincts would never stop surprising him. He was usually rough-around-the-edges and not exactly “in touch with his feminine side,” but Cas knew that under the rugged exterior, Dean was a kind-hearted and genuinely caring person. Albeit, this side didn’t come out very often, but occasionally he caught a glimpse of it.

Castiel drank the seltzer water and stretched, still sitting up in bed. The intense pounding of his head was lessening, but the nausea that had settled in his gut remained. He couldn’t stand feeling so filthy anymore, and decided to take a shower.

Standing up slowly and deliberately, he hunched his back over to stretch the tight muscles. He then became very conscious of how naked he was. He groaned. _I am never drinking ever again._ That probably wasn't true; he had that thought every time he had a hangover, and yet here he was. Again. 

As he eased his back upright, he made sure to crack the individual joint of his vertebrae. One last round of quick stretching, and he dragged himself to the bathroom. After he locked the door behind him, he turned the shower onto the hottest setting he could stand. Castiel could already tell the difference in the air temperatures and shivered before climbing into the hot shower.

For the first minute or so, all he could do was stand under the water and let it sink into his skin. The heat felt good- it seemed to wash away all of the grime from his skin, while also helping his head and stomach aches. As he washed his hair, he began to think about Meg. _Should I call her? I’ve never hooked up with someone before we were dating. Are we dating? Should we be dating? Am I supposed to call the next day, or do I wait a while? If I call today, maybe she’ll think I’m clingy. If I wait, maybe she’ll think I’m not interested and then she’ll end up resenting me._ Castiel rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. _College is hard._ He decided to postpone those thoughts for later. For now, he savored the rest of his shower. College was hectic, and he didn’t get very many chances to just indulge in a long, hot shower, so he was in no hurry to let it end now. 

Humming softly, he stepped out of the shower and toweled off. He roughly mussed his hair with the towel, relishing in the way it made his head tingle. He wrapped the towel around his waist and stepped out of the bathroom to find Dean standing in the bedroom by Castiel’s desk.

“Cas! You-“ Dean blinked quickly a few times before he turned around pointedly, throwing his hands up beside his face to act as blinders. He cleared his throat pointedly. Cas furrowed his brow in confusion.

“What’s wrong with you?” Cas walked over to the dresser and took out a clean change of clothes.

“Dude, you’re naked,” Dean stammered, still facing the wall.

“And? I’ve got a towel on. Besides, you’ve seen me nuder than this,” he pointed out.

Dean choked. “Seen a little more than I wanted to,” he mumbled.

Cas could feel his frustration and confusion rising. “Are you calling me fat or something? I mean, I know I don’t have a whole lot of time to spend in the gym or whatever but-“ Cas grunted and gestured with his hand to try and finish his sentence.

Dean turned back to face him and heaved a frustrated sigh. “Cas, that’s not what I meant.” Castiel watched as Dean’s gaze fell from his face to his still bare, damp chest. He squirmed under the scrutiny and cleared his throat to bring Dean’s attention back. Dean coughed and looked away again.

“Well if you’re not telling me to go on a diet, why is my exposed torso bothering you?” He was genuinely baffled, and Dean’s stubbornness wasn’t helping.

Dean threw up his hands. “I don’t know. It’s been a weird day. Just… I got all of your shit and put it on your desk. I’ve got to go to work,” he said as he made a determined line for the door. He paused in the doorway to look back at Cas, who was still stunned in confusion. His tone changed from urgent to milder and more sincere. “Just... Call me if you need anything, okay?” Cas nodded, and Dean gave him a tiny smile before he left and shut the door behind him. Castiel just stared at the closed door, bewildered. _What the hell just happened here?_

&&

Dean drove the normally forty-five minute commute to work in less than twenty minutes. Thankfully, he didn’t get caught speeding and get his license revoked. Again. He drove into the back side of Turner’s Auto Shop and threw the car into park. With a grumpy huff, he slammed the door and entered the shop area.

“What the hell is wrong with you, boy?” the older man called from underneath a rusty car. 

“It’s nothing, Rufus. Just school,” Dean replied as he ran a hand over his face and sighed. “What do we got going on in the books today?” Rufus rolled out from under the car and pointed towards his office.

“I don’t remember what car it is, but just work on the oil and filter change with routine checkup. She should be here in two hours to pick it up. I’ve been too busy with this piece of junk to start on it.”

“Not a problem.” Rufus resumed his work and Dean skimmed the appointment book.

_Name: Lisa Braeden/ Car: Green 2010 Ford Fiesta/ Service(s): Oil/filter change, state inspection._

Dean could do these in his sleep. He was grateful for the easy job because there was less of a chance he would screw up from being distracted. He wandered off to the yard with the keys and drove the car into the shop.

The car was uncommonly clean and smelled faintly of citrus. All in all, it was a little too prissy for his taste; his baby was his lean, mean pride and joy. _But pretty cars often belong to pretty girls._ That was exactly what he needed to keep his mind off of… _whatever_ it was preoccupied with. 

Dean got right to work under the hood. Cars have always been his passion. Growing up, he always spent time around and eventually worked in his pseudo-uncle Bobby’s auto shop and salvage yard. Dean wasn’t blessed with the brains his brother had, and he didn’t really have many other talents, but cars were something he has always been a natural at. Cars felt like home. That was one of the scariest parts of going away to college- he thought he might not be able to have that connection to his life back in Kansas. Bobby, however, had planned ahead. He and his old friend from high school still kept in touch, and Rufus was kind enough to promise Dean a job for as long as he would be out in California. Dean never would be able to thank them enough, so he works as best as he can to make it worth the trouble. 

Truly, the only reason he chose to go to UCLA was Sammy. Sam had been planning on going to Stanford University ever since his freshman year of high school. They’ve been interested in him, too, of course; Sam has always been at the top of his class, a natural genius. So when it was Dean’s time to apply to college, he applied to most of the public universities in the surrounding cities. UCLA was the closest one to Stanford that accepted him. A five hour drive was much better than an even longer flight, and he readily enrolled. As it turns out, college has been great for him- something he never would have expected. He faired pretty well in most of his classes- mostly thanks to Cas- he had made tons of friends really easily, and he still had spare time to work for Rufus. Dean missed his brother more than he would ever let on, but he was never really lonely. Cas had proven to be one of the best friends anyone could ask for; if it weren’t for him, Dean might have failed or been kicked out by this time. 

Before his thoughts had the chance to get away from him, he heard a bell jingle from the office area. _Has it been two hours already?_ He looked down at the car and noticed he'd apparently done the entire job in a daze, and only had two things left to check before he was done. 

“I’ll be with you in just a minute!” he called. Dean hurriedly finished the inspection and drove the car around front. He got out and entered the office. The girl standing in front of the desk was a total knockout: long brown hair, tan, slim but with some curves. Needless to say, Dean was taking full advantage of her not facing him. That didn’t last long, however, because when she heard the bells jingle, she turned around. Quick to recover, he flashed her his best smile and went behind the desk. “Are you Lisa?”

She smiled brightly at him. “I am. Is my car ready?”

“I just finished,” he said. He printed a paper off of the computer and handed it to her. “This is just to tell you everything passed inspection, and it’s been sent off.” Lisa thanked him as he rang up her service. She paid her bill, giving him side glances and grins in the process. He studied her for a moment, trying to decide if she looked familiar. “Do I know you from somewhere?”

She giggled softly and rolled her eyes. “We’re in English 103 together.” 

Dean, a little embarrassed at his lack of observation skills, laughed it off. “Yeah, of course. I was just seeing if you knew.” She laughed and nodded sarcastically. He stuck out his hand to her. “I’m Dean, by the way.”

She looked at his hand, which he didn’t realize was covered in grease. She smiled awkwardly and pointed it out. He huffed nervously and wiped his hands on a spare towel. “I know who you are,” she said.

He raised an eyebrow to her and smirked. “Oh you do? I guess that means you know about my reputation, then?” 

“I’ve heard things, but I believe in giving people a chance before judging them.” Dean grinned. He knew exactly where this was going.

“So you don’t judge a book by its cover?”

She leaned forward over the counter a little. “It’s more like not judging a book based on the reviews.” She gave him a long once-over before she added, “The cover is rather enticing.”

Dean smirked again and wrote his number down on a piece of paper. “Let me know if you ever feel like checking this book out.” 

Lisa took the slip of paper and held it up. “I’ll be sure to do that.” She gave him another look before turning away and sashaying out the door. She was obviously swaying her hips on purpose, but Dean wasn’t complaining. She turned her head and exchanged a flirty smile with him before she disappeared.

Dean bit his lip and nodded to himself. “Damn, son, I hope you wore a condom for all that eye-fucking you just did,” Rufus remarked from the door behind him. Dean snapped out of his trance and laughed. This was exactly what he needed to distract himself from his _distraction._

&&

Dean got back to his dorm at around 11 PM. He was careful not to make much noise, since Castiel was typically asleep by then. He still wasn’t ready to face him after all that’s been going on that day. His stealth was pointless, though, because there wasn’t a body in his bed, and there was a post-it note on his desk. He picked it up and read it. _Meg called. We’re going to a movie. Don’t wait up. –Cas._ Dean sighed in relief. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so hard after all. 


	3. September 12

For the most part, Dean had returned to acting like his usual self. The boys’ relationship went back to normal- though Cas was still unaware that it had changed in the first place. Dean was grateful for finding Lisa; she was immediately proven to be an effective distraction- Dean refers to this incident as the “bendiest weekend of his life.” Sure Lisa wasn’t entirely what he was looking for, she was too clingy for his taste, and she wasn’t very subtle when she hinted about wanting to be in a committed relationship; but she kept his mind off of his friend, and that was all he could ask for. It doesn’t hurt that she almost never turned down his late-night booty calls. So Dean wasn’t in much of a rush to toss her aside just yet.

Cas and Meg had a confusing relationship going. Castiel still wasn’t exactly used to her free spirit or sexual brazenness. Dean encouraged him to embrace it and to be grateful for this “blessing.” So Cas gave it a try. He still held academics to the top of his priorities, but when he had a free night, he was more than willing to spend some “quality time” with Meg. They never really "talked," so Cas figured they didn’t have much in common, and the connection was almost exclusively physical. Cas wasn’t too attached to her personally, but he enjoyed the company and stress relief that came with it. He and Meg were both really closed-off people, so "sharing" was kept to a minimum. Dean liked to describe them as "intensely emotionally constipated," but Cas resents that because he knows Dean's the same way.

Most nights, Cas either spent his time doing homework or studying, or getting a surprise visit from the “sex fairy;” Dean often left to meet Lisa anywhere from 10 PM to 2 AM and would come back before 3 AM. This was how the past three weeks had gone for them. Both boys figured this was the happiest they would be for the time being and went with it.

&&

Wednesdays at 3 were always slow at ‘Brews. Castiel was sweeping the dining area for the second time since his shift started three hours prior, while Chuck was deliberately wiping the counters and Charlie was lounging over the register, mindlessly picking at a straw wrapper.

“You know, I think I prefer working during the rush. This shit is seriously about to kill me,” Charlie said after a long silence. Cas leaned against the broom and opened his mouth to reply when he heard a clacking noise from the book area; it was the familiar sound of heels against the tile. Charlie and Chuck stood up from their slouching positions and tried to seem professional. “Fucking finally,” Charlie mumbled.

“Hey, Clarence!” Meg called as she came into sight. The friends behind the counter sighed in disappointment, slouched back over and returned to their fidgeting.

Cas smiled at her and pulled her into his side. “To what do I owe this surprise?”

“I was just thinking about you…” She ran her hand up his bicep. He grinned and raised an eyebrow at her. “And me… So I decided to come see you- just to tie me over until tonight, when you can do the tying.” She winked at him suggestively and he chuckled.

He heard his friends make disgusted noises and he cleared his throat. “As fun as that sounds, I already planned to have a guys’ night with Dean.”

Meg stared at him incredulously. “Dean’s your roommate; you see him all the time.”

“Not lately- if I’m in the room, he’s working or out with Lisa. If he’s in the room, I’m usually out with you or already asleep. We’ve barely seen each other this past month.”

“So you’d rather watch chick flicks with your boyfriend than have sex?” Meg nodded and unwrapped her arms from his waist.

“Dean is not my-“ Cas stared, confused.

“Don’t worry about it. It's just kind of surprising that anyone would choose a _guys’ night,_ ” she emphasized the words sarcastically, “over having awesome kinky sex with me.”

Cas reached out for her apologetically. “I didn’t mean-“

Meg laughed lightheartedly and gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Calm down, big boy. We’re not exclusive or anything. Don’t you worry about me.” Cas nodded and Meg turned to leave. "Have fun tonight. Drop by if you change your mind," she directed at him with the smallest of smiles. “Later, Sketch. See you tonight, Red,” she called over her shoulder with a wave.

“Bitch,” Chuck mumbled to himself.

“Yeah, why are you even with her?” Charlie asked. Castiel walked back behind the counter and put the broom back in storage.

“We’re not _together_ , necessarily. And it’s just easy, I suppose,” he replied honestly with a shrug.

" _It's_ easy or _she's_ easy?" Chuck questioned. He snorted before adding, "Probably both."

“Don't be like that. It’s just easier to go along with whatever is going on. And she's... _fun_ , you know? I never have _fun_." Charlie scoffed in mock offense and he looked at her pointedly before continuing. "It’s a pretty decent way to burn off stress from class and whatnot. Plus it’s not like I have any other options,” he trailed off the conversation. Before waiting too long, he changed the subject. “Anyways, what’s up with you and Jo?”

Charlie beamed and blushed a little. “We’re totally great. She’s so awesome. She doesn’t always get my references, but I really like her. Okay, like, we were out on a _date_ \- How cool is that? A _date_? Anyways, we were out and I kept talking and talking like I do.” Cas let out a small laugh, but Charlie just rolled her eyes. "So I was just talking because I was embarrassed about something, I don't remember, and you know what she did? She just kissed me. She just pulled me in for a kiss and whispered 'Shut up.'" Castiel laughed and shook his head while Chuck scribbled something on his hand. Charlie was still grinning and fidgeting with her smock. "I'm going to ask her to be my girlfriend tomorrow."

Cas smiled. Charlie was practically bursting at the seams. “That’s amazing, Charlie. I’m so happy for you.” And he was happy for her- if even just a little jealous.

&&

Dean was walking to the cafeteria when his phone rang. With him were his friends Adam Milligan and Victor Henricksen, who were busy carrying on a loud conversation. The caller ID read ‘Lisa.’ He shushed them as he answered it.

“Hey, Lis’.” Victor made a kissing face at him, and Dean punched him in the chest. 'Asshole,' he mouthed.

“Hey, handsome, what are you up to?” She asked cheerily.

“Well, pretty lady, I'm just on my way to lunch with Victor and Adam. Why, what’s up?” Dean had this problem where he flirted on the phone like he does in person, grinning and raising his eyebrows like a moron. Naturally, the guys never stopped giving him shit for it.

She sighed deeply. _Here it comes._ “I wanted to eat with you.”

Dean scratched his head, feelings his frustration rising. “I mean, I kinda promised the guys I’d hang out with them. We haven’t-“

“Dean, I am your girlfriend. I should be the one you’re making time for.” He choked out a surprised noise and pinched the bridge of his nose.

'You okay?' Adam mouthed at him. Dean nodded and signaled for them to give him a minute.

“Baby, we’ve talked about this," he replied pleadingly.

“Please don't 'baby' me right now. You’ve talked, and I listened. I need something more than whatever it is we have going on.”

Dean sighed while he tried to compose his thoughts. “Can we do this later?”

“How’s tonight?”

He grunted. “You _know_ Cas and I have plans.”

“Jesus Christ, Dean! It’s ‘guys’ this and ‘guys’ that- you know, if you’re not careful, you’re going to be sending the wrong message.” She hung up the phone.

“I'm not gay, you stupid bitch!” he growled into the phone. He shoved it back into his pocket and huffed. He noticed the look Victor and Adam exchanged, but he ignored it. Dean just rolled his eyes and shoved past them and into the dining hall.

The boys piled up their plates in silence before sitting at their usual table. The cafeteria was crowded and their table was filled just like every day. Dean didn't particularly _like_ most of the people he sat with, but he was used to them. It was who he was, so he didn't really have a choice.

“So whatsherface is trying to get the Mac Daddy to settle down?” Adam asked after the silence became intolerable.

Dean let out an exhausted groan. “She's just so frustrating sometimes. Like, I told you how she acted and talked when I met her, right? So, I assumed she was okay with this. I am _not_ looking for someone to tie me down.” _And I'm **not** gay._

“Instead of committing to you, I’d say she was better off committed to an institution,” Victor joked through a mouthful of meatloaf.

Dean huffed into his cup. “She’s not, like, crazy. Not really. She just… expects more.”

“Code for crazy, man. If I were you, I’d cut my losses and find someone who knows how it is.” Adam nodded in agreement with Victor.

Dean sighed and pushed the food around on his plate. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I’ll just talk to her tomorrow or something. If she’s not willing to go no-strings, I’ll end it.”

Victor and Adam changed the subject to football, and Dean decided to tune out. He didn’t feel any sort of _real_ mind-blowing connection with Lisa, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to give up whatever distraction she was providing. And she could actually be really cool sometimes, but something was missing. Dean had gotten pretty good at ignoring his thoughts about Cas that were anything less than wholesome- or at least telling himself he was ignoring them. And whenever his urges were out of his control, Lisa was always willing to give him release. She never asked questions when Dean didn’t look at her, or when he would kiss her just to muffle her voice. _But really, how could she even think I wanted to be with her for real? Dean Winchester does not settle down._

He never admitted to himself what body he was imagining underneath him instead of Lisa’s. He made the excuse that Lisa’s voice was just too nasally to listen to, as opposed to thinking of the voice he wanted so desperately to be moaning his name. Dean rubbed a hand over his face and through his short hair, sighing deeply.

“Hey, man, that bitch still bothering you?” Victor asked. 

Dean returned to reality and gave him a side smile. “Nah, just thinking about school and stuff.”

Adam laughed and clapped him on the back when they got up to leave. “Yeah, right. Just don’t let her get to you. Try thinking about all the other hot pieces of ass you can get when you cut her loose.”

Dean nodded and tried to smile. _That’s exactly what I don’t need to think about._

&&

When Dean made it back to the room around 5 PM, Cas was lounging on the bed in an old t shirt and sweat pants, reading _Cat's Cradle._ _One of my favorites. Naturally._ When he was doing work in his room, Castiel always wore a pair of big, bulky, thick-rimmed glasses that Dean teased him for. Dean would never admit it, but the glasses in combination with his messy hair made Cas look like a mixture of a rockstar and a sexy, older professor. _Sexy? Damnit, dude, stop!_

“Hey, Poindexter. I see you're finally reading a good book for once,” he teased as he tossed his bag onto the floor beside his desk.

“Shut up.” Cas threw his extra pillow at Dean. Dean hit it aside and laughed. “Guess what.”

Dean sat on the bed and untied his shoes. He pursed his lips and tried to look thoughtful. “Uh, we’re reentering Vietnam and I’m being drafted?”

Cas chuckled. “Close. Lisa stopped by.” Dean rolled his eyes and groaned. “She wanted to see if you were here, but when she was _finally_ convinced it was just me, she said to tell you to call her.”

“Okay, she is officially deranged.” Cas laughed and set his book aside. "She's just so damn _clingy_ , man."

"She could probably take a lesson from Meg, then."

Dean raised an eyebrow at Cas. “Something wrong in Megstiel land?”

Castiel rolled his eyes. "I'm not sure... This whole 'casual' thing was a mutual agreement, but today... It's just not clicking."

“Too casual?”

"Sort of, but not necessarily. For example, I told her I can't come over tonight since we already had plans, and she just didn't really _get it._ " He huffed a humorless laugh and scratched the back of his head. "I'm not sure what the problem is. Sex is... awesome, as you say." _Don't even think about it, Dean._ "But there's something missing, and it just feels... odd."

Dean nodded. "I know exactly what you mean. Well, sort of. You can't just click right? Like, you can't just chill or whatever?"

Castiel watched him with wide eyes and nodded. "Yes. Exactly."

Dean started smiling, absently staring at Castiel. _He's such an attentive listener._ Cas' look changed to confused, and Dean cleared his throat and turned away. "Uh, yeah, anyways. That's what it's like with me and Lisa. So, I feel your pain." He laid back in his bed and licked his bottom lip, mindlessly chewing on it. "I'm actually thinking about just calling it quits. You should talk to Meg if you really think it isn't working for you."

Cas sat up straight and hesitated. "Tonight?" Dean shrugged and nodded. "But we have-"

Dean held up his hand and stopped him. “Dude, it’s cool. We can have guys’ night whenever. Go talk to her. Or you know... Don't talk to her." Dean bit his tongue and raised his eyebrows suggestively. Cas laughed and looked down.

Cas nodded and went to pick up his discarded jeans. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I'll _talk_ to her.” Dean shrugged and stared at the ceiling while Cas changed in the bathroom. When he came out and went to leave, Dean wished him good luck.

“Thanks. You should call Lisa and talk to her, too,” he said as he closed the door.

Dean sighed to himself. He was definitely not calling Lisa tonight. But he knew exactly what number he did need to call.

&&

The walk over to the Meg's residency hall wasn’t too long, but the solitude gave him time to think. _Should I just break things off, or should i stick it out? I mean, neither of us is exactly relationship material, but still... Maybe I should just suck it up and try to make a real connection._ He sighed and dug his hands into his pockets. _I’ll just wing it. Whatever comes to mind first._

He took the elevator up to her floor and cautiously proceeded to her room. He took a deep breath before knocking on the door. There was a faint thump from inside the room. After what seemed like a minute, a man with nothing on save a pillow held to his crotch opened the door.

“Are you the pizza man?” the man asked impatiently, his British accent obvious. "Where's the pizza?"

Cas furrowed his brow. “Is Meg in?”

“Clarence!” Meg cheerily greeted from inside. He peered around the man only to observe that Meg was stark naked and had her hands tied to the bed railing with underwear.

“Oh, uh…” He turned to leave, suddenly overwhelmingly aware of all of the nudity around him.

“No, don’t go!" she beckoned. He stopped and waited. "Do you wanna join us?” Meg propositioned. The guy looked at him hopefully and Cas tried to just focus on her.

_Am I really supposed to answer that? Is she serious?_ “Uh, no. Thank you for the invitation, but, uh, I think _this,_ ” he pointed from himself to Meg, “is not exactly what I'm looking for right now.”

She nodded understandingly. "Well, sweet cheeks, you've got my number. Don't lose it." He laughed and waved goodbye to her.

Before he could leave, the guy grabbed his arm and leaned in closer. “Let me know if you’d be interested in doing this without her,” he whispered. "Balthazar." The man extended his hand in invitation.

Cas stared at the hand before reluctantly shaking it. He tried to smile pleasantly and hold back the obviously awkward expression he could feel coming up. "Castiel." Balthazar nodded and grinned. Cas hurriedly walked away, still in mild bewilderment at what just happened. _Why were they ordering a pizza?_

&&

“That was quick. How’d it go?” Dean asked as he heard Cas walk in. He was sitting at the desk with his laptop open to a download screen.

Castiel fell onto his bed. “It was definitely... interesting.” He paused and sat up on his elbows, squinting awkwardly. “She invited me to join them.” 

The image of Cas being propositioned to join an orgy was too much, and Dean busted out laughing. “I’m sorry, but wow. Just… damn. What did you do?”

“Well obviously I had to decline due to my prior engagements, but the guy was really nice. He invited me for a one-on-one session." Dean stared at him with amusement as Cas pondered quietly. "I think I'll take him up on it... sometime next week."

Dean’s laughter stopped immediately and he stared at Cas’ unreadable expression. “You..."

“Definitely kidding,” Cas said as his face broke into a huge grin. “You’re way too easy sometimes.”

“Yeah, well you’re… too easy... all of the times,” he stumbled out.

“The Master of Comebacks strikes again! You have slain me,” Castiel teased with a laugh. “How’d it go with The Lady Braeden?”

“I didn’t call her, _but_ ,” he stood up and started rummaging through his desk drawer, “I did call Ash.”

Cas looked confused. “Ash? Why?"

Dean turned around and held up a brown lunch bag folded up. “I got us something extra special for guys’ night.”

Cas walked over to him hesitantly, eyes wide. “Dean… is that-?”

Dean beamed at him. “Hells yes it is. Come on, get me some paper.”

“Dean, no.”

“Dude, yes. Come on. _Please_?” Dean stuck out his bottom lip and batted his eyelashes. 

Cas rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “How is this going to improve our evening?” he questioned exasperatedly.

“It’s just fun, I don’t know. Come on, _relax._ We’ll order a pizza, get comfortable, put on some Empire Strikes Back and have a good time.” He waited a few seconds and nudged Cas with his elbow. “College is stressful, right? And we’re both about to be ending our consistent hook-ups, so... Just once, Cas. Please. Trust me.”

Cas rolled his eyes again and sighed. “Fine. _But_ the pizza is going to be meat lovers’ and I _will_ get the last slice.”

Dean grinned victoriously. “Deal. This is going to be awesome, I promise. Go do whatever shit you gotta do and I’ve got the rest.” Cas accepted and went about his business while Dean ordered their pizza. He set the computer up on the edge of his bed so they could sit on the floor next to Cas’ and have the computer at eye-level without having to actually share a bed, their usual movie seating situation. He sat on his pillow and began to roll the joint. 

Cas emerged from the bathroom and joined him. “Shouldn’t we wait until we get the pizza? I’m pretty sure it would be suspicious to have a smoke cloud billow out of the room when we get it.”

“I’m not stupid, Cas. It’s not like anyone would care anyways, _but we'll wait if it makes you feel better, princess,_ ” Dean added mockingly. Cas elbowed him. The pizza didn’t take long getting there and Dean paid. “Hey, open the window.” After Dean shut off the light and Cas opened the window, they settled back down. Dean started the movie and picked up the joint and his lighter. Cas watched him intently. Dean put it between his lips and pulled a drag from it as he lit the opposite end, inhaling deeply. He held the smoke in his lungs and pulled it away from his mouth, extending it to Cas. Dean waited a few seconds before blowing the smoke out away from Cas. “Your turn.”

Cas reluctantly snatched the joint and slowly put it up to his mouth. “Don’t make fun of me, or we’ll never do this together again,” he warned. Dean grinned and nodded. Cas copied Dean’s demonstration, but when he inhaled, the smoke burned his throat. He tried to hold it in his mouth, but ended up coughing it out. Dean held back a laugh and handed him a bottle of water.

“That wa...s good. But, uh, don’t be surprised by it. When you inhale, you need to breathe it in, not just suck in the air, know what I mean?” He motioned the movements on his chest. He took a quick pull from it before handing it back to Castiel. This time, he did it correctly and held the smoke in for an impressive duration for a beginner.

“Better?” He asked after he released the smoke. Dean approved and they turned their attention on the movie. They passed the joint back and forth until it was gone, which neither of them remember finishing. Dean could feel the high finally come on, and he relaxed further into his place. Dean sighed contentedly. _This is nice._

&&

Cas’ small cough pulled Dean from his partial-unconsciousness. He glanced around the room and noticed they had already finished the pizza and two liter bottle of soda. Dean peeked at Cas from the corner of his eye. The room was completely dark except for the faint light coming from the laptop. Cas had his head leaned back all the way to the bed, while he had his arms loosely wrapped around his knees that were drawn up to his chest. The lights danced across his features, his half-lidded eyes looking an even brighter blue than usual. 

Dean’s head was swimming, and he felt like he was moving fast and being still at the same time. Cas paid him no mind, completely unaware of Dean looking at him. Dean watched closely as Cas' tongue darted out and wet his chapped lips, mirroring the movement and licking his own lips unconsciously. Dean couldn’t be bothered to care about how long he’d been staring at Cas, the drug washing away any cares he had earlier.

“How do you know if you’re high?” Cas mumbled out, still looking at the screen lazily. His voice was scratchy and quiet, and startled Dean out of his fixation for the most part. 

He cleared his throat. “Uh, I guess you just know. Like, everything feels like the opposite. You know you’re sitting, but you feel like you’re swimming. You know you have control over yourself, but you feel like your body has a mind of its own,” he whispered. He started rambling under his breath- a tone he thought was at a normal level- until Cas finally turned to look at him. Dean's heart pounded and he stopped rambling. “What?”

“Were you talking?” he teased. Cas smiled faintly and blinked slowly before turning back to the movie. Dean didn’t turn away, though. His eyes over Cas’ profile thoroughly. His dark brown hair was noticeably longer than when school started, and it was more disheveled. He hadn’t shaved in two days and his shadow was darker than he usually kept it. Cas’ tongue darted out again, leaving an almost undetectable shine on his plump upper lip. Dean could feel a lump build in his throat, and he tried to swallow around it. 

_“But you cannot control it. This is a dangerous time for you, when you will be tempted by the Dark Side of the Force,”_ he heard Obi-Wan advise. Unfortunately, he was too busy focusing on Cas to listen. 

“Hey,” he whispered to Cas.

Cas turned his head, relaxed expression still covering his face, and looked at Dean. Dean could see Cas’ eyes faintly trace from his lips up to his eyes. “Yeah?” he mumbled back. Cas licked his chapped lips one more time, and Dean's restraint broke. 

He leaned in slowly; Cas’ eyes widened slightly, but he didn’t move. His eyes darted from Dean’s eyes to his lips nervously. Dean was breathing heavy, and he could feel Cas’ begin to speed up. They stayed an inch apart for what seemed like an eternity before Dean finally leaned in to close the distance. Cas’ lips were stiff against his, but he didn’t want to give up yet. He pulled his body closer and put his hand up against the side of Castiel’s face, thumb grazing his stubble. Cas moaned quietly and gave into the kiss. Dean began to work his mouth more actively and deepened the kiss. He was surprised when Cas’ tongue licked at his lips, seeking entrance. He complied immediately, sliding his tongue next to Cas'. 

Cas shifted and brought himself closer so they were more comfortably facing each other. He brought both of his hands to Dean’s hips and tugged him lightly. Dean groaned at the new sensation, letting his hips be pulled in. He could feel blood rush to his groin, and he knew his sweat pants weren’t going to be hiding anything. He moved his other hand to the opposite side of Cas’ face and wound his fingers into the thick hair. Cas moaned into his mouth and pulled Dean closer vigorously. He slipped both of his hands under Dean’s t shirt and up his back. Cas' hands felt so foreign, lean and strong fingers instead of the tiny, dainty ones he was used to. Kissing him harder and deeper, Cas faintly dug his nails into Dean’s back, sending shockwaves through his body.

Dean pulled his mouth back and rested their foreheads together. Both of their eyes were closed while they caught their breath, neither of them moving from their positions. Dean opened his eyes slowly and was met by Cas’, his expression no longer nervous, instead completely full of want. Dean swallowed thickly. “I’m not gay,” he whispered.

Cas nodded almost unperceptively, eyes honing in on Dean's lips. “Me neither.” Dean nodded in agreement. Still, they stayed pressed against each other, chests heaving until one of Cas’ fingers moved on Dean's back. Immediately, Dean pounced back onto Cas and pressed their mouths together roughly. Cas practically mewled against him and dug his fingers deep into Dean’s back. Cas bit down on Dean’s bottom lip and scratched down his spine. 

Dean pushed Cas onto his back and slipped one leg in between Cas’, hurriedly moving the pillows out from under them. Cas moved his hands so one was cupping Dean’s ass, the other wrapped around Dean's back. Dean groaned and began to grind his hips into Castiel’s. Dean's one hand held himself up on top of Cas, the other hand moving under the front of his shirt. Not of much surprise to Dean, Cas’ stomach was flat and rigid with muscle. This wasn’t the usual sensation he was used to when it came to sex, but for some reason, he felt like it turned him on even more. 

Dean ran his thumb over Cas’ nipple and was rewarded with a moan of approval and a firmer grip on his ass, pulling their hips tightly against each other. He could feel Cas’ hardness on his thigh, and along with the constant friction to his own erection, he could feel himself building closer to something more. Learning that the rougher movements earned a bigger response from Castiel, he grazed his fingernail over the nipple and then slightly tugged on it with his thumb and index finger. 

“Fuck,” Cas gasped as his head fell back against the tile, rutting his hips into Dean’s. Dean grinned wickedly down at him and began to kiss his jaw. He scratched down Cas’ sides and into his hips, pulling them even closer, if at all possible. He nipped and sucked on his neck, enjoying all of the ragged breaths and moans from Cas. “Dean,” he breathed, fingers digging into the meat of Dean's back. Dean kissed his mouth again, and Cas moved his grasp to underneath the waistband of his boxers and dug his nails into the skin of his bare cheeks. 

Dean bucked his hips into Cas’ and groaned loudly. “ _Shit_ , Cas!” Castiel grinned wolfishly and bent his knee that was in between Dean’s legs. The new angle created more friction against Dean’s member and he couldn’t hold back the sound he made. To get back at him, Dean scratched and tugged on Cas’ nipples. Cas bit at his lip again before his head fell back against the floor, his back arching up into Dean's touch.

Dean was almost certain he was about to lose it when there was a knock on the door. Both of the men froze, Dean’s face glued to the door and Cas’ wide eyes fixed on him. They didn’t move an inch until they heard the knocking again.

“Oh _shit,_ ” Cas cursed, pushing Dean off of him.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck,” Dean cursed under his breath. Both of them scrambling to move, they didn’t look at each other. Cas scurried into the bathroom, and locked the door behind him. Dean wiped his face and tried to fix his clothes. The knocking returned again. “Just a minute!” He called out roughly. He looked down and realized his cock was still obviously- _and painfully_ \- hard. “Damnit,” he mumbled to himself. He walked over to the door and opened it, only showing his face and part of his torso.

Adam was standing in his pajamas, holding a spiral notebook. He wasn’t looking when Dean opened the door, so he spoke while looking at the object in his hand. “Hey, you left this in class, and I guess I thought it was mine, so." He looked at Dean. “Whoa, you look like…”

“I was sleeping, fuckhead,” he lied shortly. 

Adam grinned. “Sleeping my ass! You and Lisa made up?”

Dean rolled his eyes and lied, “Yep. All good. Did you need something else?” Adam shook his head and opened his mouth to speak again, but Dean grabbed the notebook and told him goodnight as he shut the door. He leaned back against it and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. _What have I done? Seriously, what the **fuck** did I just do? _

He pushed himself off of the door and tossed his notebook onto his desk. He shut his laptop and set it aside. After retrieving his pillow and taking a few deep breaths, he crawled into bed, wrapping the blanket around him and facing the wall. After what could have been five minutes, ten minutes, or a half hour, he heard Castiel come out of the bathroom and rustle around in his bed. The room was painfully silent, but both men lay in their respective beds, too afraid to move and disturb the silence. Neither of them could fall asleep until the new day was practically dawning.


	4. September 13

To say Castiel was freaking out would be an understatement. His mind was racing a mile a minute, and he didn’t get any sleep whatsoever. Sneaking a quick glance over his shoulder, he noticed it was a quarter ‘til 5. There was no use in pretending to sleep for three more hours when all he wanted to do was get out of the same room as Dean. He quietly slinked out of bed and pulled out one of his few pairs of gym clothes. After quickly changing in the bathroom, he snuck out the door. 

Though he was fuller of nerves than he was energy, he bounded down the stairs and out of the dormitory. The crisp autumn air smacked him like a freight train, but it was fresh and exactly what he needed. He finally took a long, deep breath and shook the nerves out of his limbs. As he stretched, he observed his surroundings. It was mostly dark out, but the first rays of sunlight were shyly peeking out from the horizon. Aside from a runner and a single car that drove by, he was alone. He sighed, grateful that he could have some solidarity and room to think on his own. Starting with little bounces and movements in place, he shook once more and then began his jog.

The cold wind stung his nose at first, but a numbing sensation bloomed and he tried not to notice. When he was younger and had more time on his hands, he would run out his frustration, and with all of his frustration, it's no surprise he always stayed lean. Now, college had consumed the large majority of his entire existence. He’s taking so many classes, working most days, and has enough homework to last for hours on end. _Still, I can’t blame school for what happened last night._ He released a deep breath from his mouth. Last night was the real reason why he was outside, running for the first time in months, trying to escape his thoughts. 

Cas wasn’t even entirely sure why he’s been so willing to do the things he’s done lately. He didn’t necessarily dislike it, but it wasn't one of his regular activities. He didn’t want to let down Dean, so he tried to immerse himself into the environment and have a good time. Cas never really had any desire to try drugs; he wasn’t against them, but he never cared enough to try. When Dean asked him to trust him, he did. The last thing Cas wanted to do was disappoint him because Dean worked hard to improve himself for Cas’ sake, he wasn’t ignorant enough to ignore that. He figured that if Dean was willing to make an effort to improve academically, Cas could take more chances socially and relax a little. 

_But last night… was surprising on many levels._ Dean had never given him any reason to think he was gay, or even bisexual. Sure, he made casual remarks that Cas was attractive- probably just to reassure him or make him feel better; and granted, he sometimes honed in on Cas’ lips instead of looking at him like he does everyone else. But Dean wasn’t gay, and Cas was positive he’s never given Dean any reason to think he was either. So why did Dean kiss him? _And why didn’t I try to stop him?_

Maybe it was because Dean somehow knew all of Castiel’s weak spots. How Dean knew Cas liked it rough, he would never understand, but it was electrifying. When Dean nipped and scratched and tugged in all the right ways, it was no wonder Cas lost himself in the moment. The feel of Dean’s lips on his, the way he moved his hips into Cas’… Cas was a goner the second Dean's lips touched his.

Cas was suddenly aware of how fast he was running and stopped. He was out of breath, and he rested his hand on the back of a bench to catch up with himself. Cas felt his dick give a sort-of twitch and he became aware of his half-hardness. He closed his eyes. _Shit._

After taking a few deep breaths, he turned around and walked back in the direction of his dorm. He was in no hurry to return to his room- or his roommate for that matter. When he finally did return back to the room, he crept inside. Dean was still in his bed facing the wall nearest him. Cas took a deep breath before quickly finding a change of clothes and taking a shower. By the time he was done, it was hardly even close to 7 am. And though Dean still hadn’t moved or spoken, Cas still felt like he was suffocating in the room. He gathered his things and left as quickly as he could.

&&

Dean had been in a weird semi-conscious type of sleep all night and was easily awoken when he heard Cas leaving the room, returning to get ready, and leaving again. He didn’t move or speak, barely daring to breathe loudly in fear that it would shatter whatever glass they were tiptoeing on. By the time 8 am finally rolled around, Dean was sure he’d studied and learned every single detail of the square footage of wall in front of him. After a drawn-out debate in his head, he decided to try to make this day as normal as he could.

He mostly slept through his 10 o’clock History lecture, for which Gordon offered to let him copy the notes. Dean couldn’t focus on his lessons. He was completely engulfed in his thoughts about Cas and his fear that their friendship was ruined. 

_Why do I always fuck everything up? I can’t just leave good things alone. Fuck, I am an idiot._ Dean mentally scorned himself as his Art Theory lesson began. Different pieces of art flashed on the projection screen and his professor was discussing them with a few students, Dean wasn’t paying any attention in the slightest. He instead reviewed the course of events from the night prior. 

He could blame it on the drugs _(Maybe Ash gave me some weird sort of sex-weed. That asshole.)_ or his frustration with Lisa, but he knew there was an actual reason why he'd kissed Cas. And the only thing he could honestly blame was himself. Thinking of his friend made him feel even worse. Castiel wasn’t gay- Dean had never assumed he was because he had no reason to- so why did he not push Dean off or try to stop his advances? _Maybe he was just being polite._ Dean rolled his eyes at his own thought. _Nobody is polite enough to make out and dry hump on the floor just for the sake of not being rude._ And who was he kidding? Dean wasn’t into guys either, but that didn’t stop him from practically pouncing on him. 

Cas’ lips were so soft against his, but so powerful. He was very actively kissing back, so it definitely wasn’t just in Dean's head. Dean remembered how strong Cas’ hands were, and how pleasantly firm his body was. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably. Cas was very responsive, especially so to the rougher touches. Every hard touch from Dean would be rewarded with a firmer grasp to his ass or deep groan from the man under him. Dean felt his throat getting dry and licked his lips, he wanted to stop thinking about it, but the memories flooded him. He could still practically feel the pleasurable sting of nails to his back, could still remember the lustful moan of his name. _“Dean.”_ He closed his eyes. _Cas_. The voice came to him louder. _“Dean.”_ He fought back a moan and bit his lip. 

“Dean!” A female voice hissed in his ear. His eyes flew open and he looked around. The room was mostly silent and a few students were looking at him, as was the teacher. Ruby slapped him in the head and pointed at the teacher.

“Mr. Winchester, would you like to answer the question?” Professor Darrow questioned patronizingly. 

Dean shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. “Uh, what was the question?” A few students chuckled and the professor rolled his eyes. He used a laser pointer to direct his attention to some painting with lots of weird looking people all over the place and some other nonsense going on.

“Can you tell us what Peter Paul Rubens was trying to portray in this piece?” 

Dean studied the painting for a few moments to no avail. “Well, uh, maybe he was just, like…” He cleared his throat again under the pressure. “Well, there’s the light and then the dark, and then there’s the people. And there’s people in the light and the dark…” he stumbled out.

A couple more students giggled and he glared at them. Professor Darrow rolled his eyes. “Maybe next time you should reconsider studying your eyelids and make better use of your time by studying your lessons,” he advised. Dean forced a nod and uncomfortable smile. The teacher moved on and asked someone near the front for the correct answer, and Dean settled back into his seat.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Ruby whispered into his ear from over his shoulder.

“It’s complicated,” he replied shortly. 

“Well you should get over it and start paying attention. Seriously, this biblical shit is the easiest part of the entire class,” she sassed. He shot her an annoyed look and turned back to the front of the room. Ruby waited a few moments before adding, “I know your boyfriend would be pretty disappointed in you if you failed.”

Dean opened his mouth to reply, but couldn’t think of a comeback, so he shot her a menacing glare. “He’s not my boyfriend,” he mumbled. She gave him a sarcastic nod and wink. Dean grumbled as he lowered in his seat. He was really going to have to get new friends soon.

&&

The surprise test in AP English caused a lot of dismay amongst the students, but none so much as Castiel. He was exhausted from the lack of sleep, his muscles were starting to get sore, and his head was already preoccupied with other thoughts. The last thing he needed was to take a test for which he had no warning, and consequently hadn’t studied. And of course it was exactly what happened.

Before class was dismissed, the professor announced the tests will be graded by 2 o’clock and should be picked up at that time. Cas yawned and took his time leaving class. He had an hour before his last class, and he wanted nothing more than to go back to his room and get some sleep. Life, as to be expected, had other plans. Before he could start heading in the direction of the dormitory, he was stopped by Charlie. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” she asked as she stood in front of him, blocking his way.

Cas sighed. “I’m just really tired.” He tried to move around her, but she moved accordingly to keep him trapped.

“Let’s go get some coffee, then. We can talk about it.” She tugged on his arm and he followed helplesslyu.

“There’s nothing to talk about. I just didn’t sleep last night,” he grumbled as they walked up to the coffee stand. They never bought coffee from ‘Brews- he figured if they don’t come around on their days off they can’t make them work. 

“I’m not an idiot, Cas,” she offered. Charlie turned her attention to the cashier. “Two large coffees, please. One with three shots of espresso.”

“Three shots? Are you trying to kill me?” he questioned. She smiled at him and paid the cashier.

“You said you were really tired. This should wake you up. And hopefully get you talking.” 

“I already told you there was nothing to talk about,” Cas mumbled as he took a sip from his cup. Charlie rolled her eyes playfully as she added cream and sugar to her cup. They walked over to a large tree and sat underneath it, Cas with his back resting on it and Charlie in front of him. 

“Is it Meg? She said you stopped by before I came over.”

Cas sighed, defeated. “You’re really going to make me talk, aren’t you?” She grinned and nodded eagerly. “It’s not really her. I mean, I stopped by for a minute last night, but she was a little… _preoccupied._ ” 

“I’m guessing she was naked with at least one other person in the room?” 

Cas smiled weakly. “Yeah, how did you know?”

“I walk in on her all the time- it’s actually kind of ridiculous. I almost wish Jo had a different roommate,” she stated simply as she sipped her coffee. "But at least she's entertaining, right?"

Castiel shook his head with a smile. “That she is, but I suppose that's just her prerogative. Anyways, I broke things off with her and left.”

"So it's not Meg..." Charlie seemed to be trying to put a puzzle together in her head. “What about Dean?”

Cas was in the middle of taking a drink from his coffee and snorted it up gracelessly. He coughed a few times and tried to wipe the coffee from his face. Charlie watched him, amused but her question unwavering. “What _about_ Dean?” he tried to ask passively.

“Well, you said you two were supposed to have a _guys’ night_ or whatever. How did that go?”

“It didn’t,” he offered.

She looked at him skeptically. “What do you mean _it didn’t_?”

“I had forgotten about a project and had to work on that,” Castiel lied.

“Was he upset that you bailed on him?”

“No. Charlie, nothing is wrong. Nothing happened, okay?” The espresso was making him jittery and his reply came out snappier than he intended. She didn’t take offense to it, and nodded.

Charlie tried to change the subject to something about class, but Cas’ mind started wandering to Dean. _Why did she have to bring it up? Can she tell? I must have it written all over my face. “Castiel made out with Dean last night” is written in neon letters on my face._ He wiped at his forehead subconsciously. Just in case.

She must have been able to detect his bemusement and stopped talking to study him. “Cas, you’re sure you’re okay?” She put a hand on his knee to comfort him.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he lied again. He wanted to talk about it, and he trusted Charlie, but he really didn’t want anyone to know. He tried to put the words together before he spilled completely. “I’m just thinking about a dilemma my friend Ralph is having.”

“Ralph?” she asked suspiciously. 

“Raphael, yeah.” Charlie nodded slowly and he continued. “So Ralph is straight, right? And one night, he and his other friend- I don’t remember his name- became under the influence. One thing led to another, and his friend kissed him. His friend is also completely straight, so it confused him a lot. Ralph told me they weren’t talking anymore because he doesn’t know what to do and I guess they’re both really freaked out about what happened. He asked me for advice and I really don’t know what to tell him.”

Charlie nodded and remained silent, but studied his face thoroughly. He squirmed under the scrutiny and took a sip from his coffee, trying to appear nonchalant. She squinted at him before talking. “Well, I’m thinking it was either just the drugs or his friend isn’t as straight as they think he is. Did Ralph kiss him back?”

_That is a trick question. Bitch is trying to throw me off._ “I don’t know, he didn’t tell me.”

She squinted again. “Why wouldn’t he tell you that? It seems kind of vital to the topic.”

“Ralph is straight, remember? Maybe he doesn't exactly want everyone thinking he’s gay.”

She nodded, seemingly accepting the answer. “Okay, well, here’s what I think: Ralph’s friend is either really handsy when he’s inebriated or he might be harboring some feelings or attraction to Ralph. And if Ralph didn’t kiss him back and just dismissed it, I think they just need to talk it over and have Ralph tell his friend that he doesn’t feel the same way. But if Ralph _did_ kiss him back, I think they need to have a completely different discussion.”

Cas nodded, mulling her advice over. “But guys are different. Men, especially ‘Alpha Male’ types, don’t like talking about their feelings or admitting to even being attracted to another man. I think if they just don’t talk about it, it will eventually blow over and everything will go back to normal. I mean, Ralph even told me he’s never thought of his friend that way, so maybe it was just a high thing and there were no feelings involved to begin with?” The coffee was making him especially nervous and his words came babbling out.

Charlie smiled inwardly and nodded. “I just know what I would do. You tell Ralph whatever you think is best suited for their ‘Alpha Homo’ situation.” She winked at him. Before he could reply, she stood up and threw away her empty cup. “Come on, it’s ten to 2. We should go pick up our tests.”

When they made their way back to the classroom, a group of students was already there, comparing grades. Cas took a deep breath before looking at his grade. He saw Charlie had made an 87%, and she demanded to see his. He looked at the grade and it almost knocked the wind out of him.

“ _54_?” he exclaimed incredulously. 

“What? You’re kidding!” She snatched his paper from him. Cas stood, unable to move, and tried to steady his heartbeat.

“Damn, Africa, what happened?” Kevin Tran asked playfully.

“If that's a reference, I don’t understand it,” he told him flatly. “I don’t know what happened. I’m just really tired today.”

“If you need help, just text me or something,” Kevin offered. Cas nodded, not really intending on taking up his offer. Castiel knew exactly why he failed that test- and it had nothing to do with not being intelligent. He just didn’t know why life kept insisting on beating him to death with new ways to stress him out.

&&

Dean headed back to the dorm after his last class, determined to talk to Cas about what happened. He knew Cas’ classes ended sometime around 3 pm and he usually came back to the room before doing whatever else he had to do.

When Dean entered the room, Cas still wasn’t back. He let himself breathe, he still hadn’t even thought about what he wanted to say. He started pacing the room. He wasn’t one for sharing or expressing feelings- _Feelings? There aren’t even any feelings. What the fuck am I thinking about?-_ but he knew Cas deserved an explanation, at least. _Is there an explanation? I’m not gay. I don’t like him or anything._ He thought about possible reasons why he could’ve kissed Cas, none of which were very accurate, but he decided to go with the “I was just frustrated with Lisa, and you were right there, and the drugs made me not think clearly” excuse. He just had to explain to Cas that he was straight, it was a fluke, and it wouldn’t happen again. 

Dean really wanted their friendship to go back to normal. He would hate to lose Cas just because Dean couldn’t keep it in his pants. Dean was sure that eventually he’ll be able to stop sexualizing Cas in his mind and he’ll be able to forget just how _fucking amazing_ he felt underneath him.

Just when his thoughts were about to get away from him, he heard the door open and he turned. Cas was standing in the doorway and he froze. Cas’ eyes were wide and directly on Dean. Dean tried to clear his throat, and Cas started looking everywhere but him.

“Cas-“ he started. Castiel startled and he looked panicked.

“I’m going to the library,” he said, the words spilling out of him quickly as he turned around and headed back out the door.

Dean tried to follow him, but his legs didn’t want to cooperate. “Cas-!” He stopped when the door shut completely. He sighed and kicked the foot of his bed. “Damnit,” he mumbled. _I’ll try again tonight after work. He has to come back sometime._

&&

Dean returned back at the dorms from work at 8 pm. Cas still wasn’t in the room. Dean sighed, shrugging off his jacket and throwing it on his desk. He took a shower and got into bed, too exhausted to do anything else besides sleep. He wrapped himself in the blankets and fell asleep facing Cas’ bed so that he could talk to him when he got back.

When he heard the door open and shut, Dean woke up and looked at the clock. Cas was just getting home at 10:45. _God I really fucked up._ Dean watched silently as Cas put his stuff away and went into the bathroom. Castiel never even so much as looked in the direction of Dean’s bed before settling into his own. He pulled the blankets over his shoulders and laid down with his back to Dean.

Dean closed his eyes and took a breath before trying to speak. “Cas,” he whispered. He wanted to wait for Castiel to reply before he would continue. When no reply came, he sat up on his elbow and cleared his throat. “Please, Cas-“

“Goodnight, Dean,” Castiel replied quietly and dismissively, subsiding the conversation. His tone was dispassionate and resolute, but Dean was just glad it wasn't meant to be malicious. Dean settled back into his bed, accepting Cas’ decision to not discuss anything further.

He wanted his friend back, but he knew what he did probably caused a lot of problems for Cas, and he was going to be patient. Hell, Dean had a lot of shit he needed to think about, too. _I am **not** gay. So why do I want him so badly?_ Dean needed to fix it as soon as possible, but he was willing to give his friend time. “Goodnight, Cas.”


	5. September 14

When Dean woke up the next morning, Cas was already gone. He huffed and rolled his eyes. _This son of a bitch is going to be the death of me._ Dean slid out of bed and got ready in his usual morning daze. He could already tell this day was going to suck. _I need grease. A nice big plate of man food will fix everything._

On his way down to the lunch hall, he stared at his phone with Cas’ number highlighted. Dean mulled the idea of texting him over and over in his head. He hesitantly typed out _“Cas, please talk to me.”_ His finger grazed over the send button for a minute or two. _What the hell am I doing? Get your shit together, Winchester!_ Dean nodded to himself and snapped his phone shut resolutely. He was so distracted by his phone, he accidentally ran right into someone.

“Hey, man, watch where you’re going,” a male voice called lazily. He looked up to apologize when he recognized the light brown mullet and plaid shirt with cut-off sleeves. On the surface, Ash was just a laid-back, drug-dealing Lynyrd Skynyrd roadie lookalike; in reality, he was a genius by any means of the word. He was usually one of Dean’s favorite people to be around, but right now he was just the guy who sold him dick-betraying weed.

“What the hell?” Dean snapped. Ash looked at him like he was crazy.

“Whoa whoa whoa there, buddy, hold on.” He put his hands up defensively. When Dean made a face that implied calmness, Ash continued. “What’s the beef?”

“You sold me a bad bag! It was, like, laced with horny or something.”

Ash tried to hold back a laugh. “No, I didn’t.” Dean opened his mouth to object, but Ash put his hands up innocently, “I swear, man. Why? What happened?”

Dean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He wanted to get some insight, but he definitely wasn’t about to let everyone know just with whom he was having problems. “Uh, I don’t know. I… Can I ask you something?” Ash nodded. “Say you have this friend, right? And you don’t really _like_ them that way- like, they’re attractive or whatever, but they’re just not _like that_ , you know? And-“

“Did you hook up with Jo?” the smaller man interrogated suddenly.

“What? Dude, no.” Ash nodded, satisfied. “Anyways, just, like, out of nowhere, you kiss them. And, thinking back, they don’t like you in that way either, but they kiss you back. And then it turns to full-on making out and groping and just- why wouldn’t they push you off, right?" Dean didn’t realize how fast he was babbling until Ash stopped him.

“Okay, I am really high and you’re talking really fast. Here’s what I’m getting from you: you macked with a good friend that you don’t see in a romantic manner- and that doesn’t see you that way either- is that correct?”

“Yeah. But-“

Ash put his hands back up. “Not finished.” Dean shut his mouth. “Alright, so did you two talk it out and see if there actually _is_ more there?”

“No. _She_ won’t talk to me.” _Nailed it._

“Well if she didn’t push you away, maybe she does like you-“ Dean panicked at the thought- “or she’s just really horny- _like you, dude;_ and she just needs some of that sweet lovin’.”

Dean looked at him suspiciously. _I never even considered that. I mean, that’s why I was suddenly okay with kissing anyone within a mile’s radius, right? Wow. Cas is a horndog, too._ He laughed inwardly before realizing how gay his thought was and shaking the thought out of his head. “I see. Sorry for running into you. And accusing you of selling me bad weed. Thanks, man.”

Ash smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. “Not a problem,” he pointed a finger warningly at Dean. “Keep your friend-molesting hands off of Jo. Got me?” 

Dean gave him a forced smile. “Yeah, I gotcha, Dr. Badass.” 

His friend’s smile spread into an ear-to-ear grin. “You remembered!” Dean laughed and excused himself to go to breakfast. _Cas isn’t just some breathing encyclopedia, after all. He’s as horny as I am. …And now I can’t stop thinking about Cas having sex. Great._ Dean decided he _needed_ to see Lisa again after class before he exploded.

&&

Castiel was trying really hard to focus in class, he really was, but Chuck babbling incessantly was making it difficult. Sure, it was at a hushed tone, but it just _wouldn’t stop._

“And to make it worse, I think I have writers’ block. I’m at the part in my story where Sean and Dan are hunting and Sean gets electrocuted so badly, he gets heart damage. Okay, so the doctors are telling him he only has a few months left, but he can’t die- I don’t know why I wrote myself into this corner. What do you think about Dan trying to find some spiritual healer, and he heals him, but it turns out that Reapers are killing other people to give life back to the dying ones?”

Cas kept scribbling down notes, long past ignoring Chuck. The smaller man looked at Castiel expectantly and waited for a reply. When he didn’t get one, he cleared his throat. “Castiel?”

“Huh?” He didn’t look away from his notes and the PowerPoint on the projection screen.

“I said what do you think about Dan-"

“Yeah, it’s a great idea,” he said dismissively. 

“You weren’t even listening, were you?” 

Cas finally looked at Chuck, who had his arms crossed. “ _Please._ I am trying to focus. Can’t we talk about this at work or something? I feel like I’m drowning in all of this schoolwork, and I really need to get this.” Chuck’s expression softened and he nodded understandingly. “Thank you. I will be more than happy to listen to your musings when we’re not in class.” 

Two hours later, he was doing just that. Chuck had continued his thought at practically the same place he left off earlier.

“-back to the dying ones? Does that sound good?” he asked. Castiel was making a mocha frappuccino for an order Charlie took while Chuck stood, moving awkwardly to shift out of his way.

“Yeah, it actually does. But- hold on,” he turned the blender for a few seconds before pouring the contents into a cup and handing it to Charlie. “Why would the Reaper work for the preacher? That doesn’t make any sense. Aren’t Reapers, um- Death’s 'worker bees'?” Cas moved back to the counter and had to clean behind Chuck, who moved gracelessly again, mumbling apologies. 

“Yeah, I guess I didn’t think of that,” he said. 

Done with taking orders, Charlie turned around and joined the conversation. “Hey- didn’t you say Reapers could be ‘bound’ or whatever you called it?” Chuck nodded. “Why don’t you just have them find out that the old dude had the Reaper under a binding spell or something?”

Chuck mulled the idea over. Before he could reply, Castiel got an idea. “Or- _or_ his wife is the one that was doing the spell because she didn’t want to lose her dying husband?” 

Charlie lit up. “Dude, that’s even better! So deep.” She looked over at Chuck who was still visibly thinking the idea over. “What do you think, _Mr. Carver Edlund?_ ” she added sarcastically.

“That’s actually a really good idea,” he said as he reached for a napkin. He pulled the pen from his smock and scribbled something down. After shoving the napkin in his pocket, he thanked them.

Turning her attention to Castiel, Charlie asked, “So, did you talk to _Raphael_ about what I said?”

Cas felt the heat rise in his cheeks, but he kept his poker face. “I did. He said thank you, but he’s going to try to ignore the problem. He’s stubborn.”

Charlie gave him a suspicious once-over before dismissing it. “Alright, well, when things go wrong, I’m not going to be here to give you advice to give to him,” she said. 

_How could things possibly go more wrong than they already have?_

&&

When Dean finished his last class, he immediately dialed Lisa’s number. It only rang once before she answered. He grinned. _Gotta love easy chicks._

“Dean! Have you called to apologize and beg for my forgiveness?” she teased. He rolled his eyes.

He ignored her question and, using his best charming voice, asked, “What are you doing right now?”

She giggled. “Mm, well I’m on my way back to my dorm.”

“Can I come over?” he asked flirtatiously.

“This early? Wow, Dean, it’s-“

“Is that a yes?” he interrupted. 

“Ooh, you must really want to see me.” His eyes were seriously going to roll right out of his head one day, and he was going to send her the hospital bill. “Yeah, come on over.”

“See you in a minute,” Dean said as he hung up.

He walked at a brisk pace, eager to get his mind off of Cas. He should probably feel guilty for using Lisa like this, but he just couldn’t find it in him to care right now. He had a dilemma, and Lisa wasn’t exactly pushing him away. _So why should I feel guilty? If she didn’t want me, she wouldn’t let me come over._

When Dean knocked on the door, he leaned against the door frame. She opened the door with a friendly smile, and Dean’s spread into a wolfish grin.

“Hey-“ Dean pounced forward and kissed her before she could finish her greeting. He put his hands in her hair and moved so they were further in the room, shutting the door behind them. She mewled and he bit her lip, silently hoping she would stop making it hard to imagine over her voice. He put his hands on her waist and the tops of his fingers under her shirt. “Dean-“ He pressed his lips to hers harder.

“Shh,” he cooed. He lifted her shirt off and grabbed her hips roughly, placing her on the edge of the desk. She kept making muffled noises, so Dean tried to imagine a different voice in his head. He could almost hear the gravelly voice and ragged breathing. He pressed into Lisa more firmly, one hand on her small of her back and one hand accidentally pushing the back of her head into the top shelf of the desk.

Lisa made an uncomfortable moan and brought her lips off of Dean’s. “What are you doing?” she asked breathily. He began to suck and nip at her neck as he dug both hands on her thighs and brought their hips closer together. He ignored her question and started grinding his hips, seeking for that reciprocated feeling he wanted so desperately to feel. “Dean,” she whispered. He pretended to hear the other voice, deep and rough. Her hands rested on his back gently, small and soft. What Dean wanted was powerful, urging hands digging into his shoulders and his back. He groaned at the image and kissed her mouth again. He dug his nails into her hips and bit at her bottom lip, wishing to hear the broken moan he had gotten in return for rough touches. 

“ _Dean_ ,” she started questioningly. Instead of listening to her, he replayed the other voice whispering his name. The other voice, the other body- _Cas_. When he admitted the name to himself, he moaned. Cas is who he wanted to make scream his name. Cas’ hands were the ones he wanted gripping him tightly. His mind flashed to the thought from earlier. _Cas is just as desperately horny as I am._ He pulled her legs around him suddenly and she banged her head.

“Ah, Dean, hold on,” she insisted. Dean pulled away and rubbed his thumb to his forehead. _I can’t do this. She can’t give me what I want._ He started pacing. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck._ Lisa got down and approached him tentatively. “Dean? What’s wrong?”

He stopped moving and looked at her. She looked more debauched than he’s ever seen her- and more scared. “I’m sorry, Lisa.”

“What’s gotten into you? You’ve never been that rough. You know I don’t like that,” she said quietly as she put her shirt back on.

_What’s gotten into you?_ He laughed to himself humorlessly. _I wish I knew._ “I know; I’m sorry.” Dean crossed his arms and rubbed a hand over his face.

She studied him for a few moments before speaking. “Please tell me what’s wrong, Dean.”

_I can’t do this anymore._ He took a deep breath before admitting it out loud. “I can’t do this anymore, Lis’.” 

She bit her lip and looked down, nodding. “I know,” she whispered, barely audible.

“You know?” he found himself asking urgently. _What does she know?_

She nodded again and looked back up. “There’s someone else. You-“ she shook her head and smiled to herself. “You’re stuck in whatever mode you’re in when you’re with her. The way you looked at me, touched me; it wasn’t the same at all.”

He sighed. “I am so sorry, Lisa.”

“Dean, stop apologizing. It’s okay, really. I know I expected too much from you, and I should’ve guessed that you’d find someone who was better suited for what you’re looking for.”

“So we’re-?” She nodded. “And you’re sure you’re-?"

She gave him a bittersweet smile. "Dean, no offense, but if you don't walk out that door, I'm going to shoot you."

He returned a small smile and hugged her. “Thank you.”

When she opened the door for him, she stopped him for a moment. “Make sure she knows what you’re looking for. Set some clear guidelines.” He nodded and left, knowing exactly what he wanted, but not having the smallest clue as to why he wanted it, or how he was going to get it.

&&

 

Castiel made the decision to be back in the room when Dean would be getting back. Dean didn’t deserve Cas’ cold shoulder thing he was doing, but he still wasn’t planning on having a confrontation. If he just sat here and stayed quiet, maybe Dean would accept his unspoken wish and never bring it up again. Then, all will be forgotten and they could get on with their lives.

The room was colder than usual, so he slipped on his most worn-in hoodie and sat on his bed, bringing his full backpack to rest beside him. He picked up his glasses from the edge of the desk and put them on so he could start his homework. All was going well for an hour until Dean came back. 

He felt himself stiffen and he refused to take his eyes off of his textbook when he heard Dean walk into the room. _If a(x)=3x+2 find a(x^3-2x^2+4x-7)._ This was probably the easiest thing in the world, but for the life of him, Cas just could not get the numbers down in his head. _If a(x)=3x+2-_

“Hey,” Dean greeted after an awkward silence. Cas flinched inwardly. _Damn you, Dean Winchester._

He kept his eyes fixed on his paper as he tried to seem busy. “Hello, Dean.”

He could sense when Dean pursed his lips and nodded, trying to seem casual; it was something Cas was beyond used to. Castiel tried to write the problem down on his homework sheet, but he kept feeling like he was messing up and erased the whole thing multiple times. Dean let out a long sigh and flopped down on his bed, grabbing his hacky sack from his desk and tossing it in the air above him. He made a few more noises and clicked his tongue. Cas was about to explode.

Another exaggerated sigh. “ _Dean-_ “ he growled, but Dean looked over and cut him off.

“Lisa broke up with me,” he said.

Cas furrowed his brow and looked back at his book. “I’m sorry,” he said. Another awkward silence swept over the room. Without looking back, he added, “I thought you said you were just hooking up."

“We were, but she wasn’t down for that, so she ended up calling it off.” Cas nodded. 

Dean stayed quiet, but Cas could practically feel him thinking. When he finally decided to talk again, he said, “I just wish everyone could just have sex and not care about feelings or commitment or whatever. Just sex.” Cas felt his face get heated, but he tried to ignore it. He nodded and gripped his pencil tighter. _If a(x)= -_ “We could, you know.”

If eyes could burst out of your head, Cas was sure his would’ve flew right through the wall. He whipped his face to Dean’s so fast, he felt a joint crack. The grip on his pencil was making his whole hands shake. “ _What?_ ” 

Dean looked over nonchalantly. “We could have sex.”

_Snap._ Cas broke his pencil in half, sharp pieces sticking into his palm, but he just clenched harder. His face was probably redder than a lobster, and it felt like a million degrees. “ _What?!_ ” he repeated louder.

Dean sat up and looked him dead in the eye. _I’m going to die. I am going to have a heart attack and die._ “You,” he pointed at Cas, “and I,” he pointed back at himself, “could have sex.” 

“I know _what_ you said,” Cas replied slowly. “I do not know _why_ you said it. Dean, I’m not gay-"

Dean stood up and walked over to his bed, more excited. Cas backed himself up as far as he could into the corner with his knees to his chest and his book in his drawn-up lap. Dean was sitting on his bed and right in his face, looking like he just escaped from an insane asylum. “Neither am I. Listen, this is perfect, okay?”

Cas started mumbling uncontrollably about _What did you tell me about personal space? Dean, I’m not gay. What? You’re so close. What? Not gay. Dean, I’m not. What?_ Without thinking or listening to what Dean was saying, just chanting it over and over, darting his eyes all around the room.

“Cas, shut up and listen,” Dean said. Cas was breathing hard, but he stopped talking and stared at Dean helplessly. “We’re best friends, right? Some weird _profound bond_ shit, right?” Cas nodded and opened his mouth to reply, but Dean stopped him. “So then why can’t we have sex? That’s all it is: sex.”

“Because-I-am-not-gay- _Dean,_ ” Cas enunciated. 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Neither-am-I- _Cas_ ,” he mocked. “Okay, hear me out: school is stressful, work is stressful, and we don’t have many outlets for our stress, you know? And I don’t know about you, but I hate trying to _seduce_ women. You gotta look nice, say the right things, get her drunk, and then _maybe_ she’ll let you get to second base. And then they expect a commitment from it or something. And then you have to keep doing it for every girl- _that’s a lot of girls, Cas._ ”

“Yes, I’m aware of your exploits, I don’t understand why-“

“You know what else? Most girls just lay there. They’re unenthusiastic, they aren’t good at whatever they’re trying to do, and if you try to correct them, they get offended. You know who knows what guys want? _Guys_.”

“Dean, it’s okay if you’re bisexual or bicurious or whatever you’re trying to come out as-“

“Shut up, Cas! I’m not anything like that," he snapped. Cas' heart skipped a beat and Dean took a deep breath. "We're both straight, right?” Cas nodded. “Is it gay if we’re just fucking? _Really?_ We don’t have feelings for each other, we’re not in a relationship, we’re not going out and trying to get married or something- all it will be is two buds knocking boots.” Cas flinched at the weirdness of his phrasing, and Dean corrected himself. “You know what I mean. All it is is two friends who are taking full advantage of their friendship and not depending on women to get us off. We’re not going to act _any different._ We’re going to act the exact same way we did _because nothing will have changed._ But when we get stressed out, or if we’re just really horny, or if we just want to fool around, _we can._ And we won’t have to worry about anything! This is what friends _do._ They help each other out.” He paused and looked like he was physically trying to grasp the words he was looking for. "Okay, we said the problem with casually hooking up with the girls was that things weren't _clicking_ , and we couldn't just hang out- they don't _get us_ , right?" Cas nodded hesitantly. "We get it! We have that friend click, you know?"

Castiel closed his eyes and tried to calm his heartbeat down. _What the hell is going on right now? I am literally going to die. Dear God, please help me get through this without having an aneurism._

“Cas?” He opened his eyes and gave a pleading look to Dean. “At least just talk to me about it.”

Cas let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know what to say!”

Dean reached out, and Castiel flinched away. “So you didn’t enjoy it?” Dean asked suddenly, expression unreadable.

Cas sighed. _Of course you’re gonna talk about it._ “Dean-“

“Because you seemed pretty _fucking_ into it the other night, Cas,” Dean spat angrily as he stood up and walked over to his side of the room. “You know what? Just... forget I said anything.” He laid back down and resumed tossing his hacky sack around.

_Fuck my life._ Castiel closed his eyes and put a hand over his face. _Is it gay if we’re just fucking? God, isn’t that the most ridiculous question of all time? It’s just two friends having sex- nothing will change. No feelings, nothing to worry about, no awkwardness, no having to pick up women- just sex when we want it._ He sighed and looked over at Dean, who was staring daggers into the ceiling. “If it’s just sex whenever we want, however we want, and no feelings or strings- we’re still perfectly straight, right? This could just be written off two friends helping each other out?” 

Dean sat up and stared at him, nodding frantically. “Yeah, yeah, that’s all it is. We can tell each other openly what we want- if we want to try something- there is no pressure to do certain things, and we’re not obligated to do everything- it’s just a mutual friendship thing.” He stood up and walked back over to Cas’ bed.

He took a deep breath before he was prepared enough to speak. “Okay.” 

Dean’s face lit up. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Castiel’s breath was coming a lot faster now, and his throat was dry. “But we need to set up rules first.” 

Dean sat down where he was before, Cas didn’t move away this time. “Yeah, of course,” he paused. “Uh, rule number one: We have to be completely open and honest with each other. Full communication. Like, we can tell each other what we want, or correct each other’s form or something if it’s not working for us. And if we don’t want to do something that the other one suggests, we don’t have to. The honesty thing goes for every part of our friendship, though, not just the sex.”

Cas nodded. “That’s a good one, yeah. Rule number two: No telling _anybody._ Nothing can change about our dynamic or the way we act in public, either.”

“Agreed. Rule number three: no getting feelings for each other. And if one of us starts to- we have to tell each other because of the first rule- we stop. We stop and just go back to being plain vanilla friends.”

“I don’t think I’m going to be falling for you any time soon, so that’s fine with me,” he said, a hint of teasing in his tone. Dean smiled and punched him in the shoulder. “Rule number four: Nothing can change, okay? I mean it. You’re my best friend, Dean, and I can’t lose that. And we’re not going to start being touchy-feely, or going on dates, or acting weird. We’re friends, and we’re going to be the same way we always have. This isn’t going to make things awkward or strained between us. We’re two straight friends who just want to have recreational sex. But we’re best friends above it all.”

Dean smiled and laughed a little. “Yeah, man. Of course. I don’t want to lose our friendship either.” Cas nodded and licked his lip, biting it on the inside. “I’ve got a good one. This is probably the most important.”

Cas nodded and sat up straighter. They were maybe ¾ of a foot away from each other. “Okay.”

“Rule number five: no blue balls. You start something, you finish it. That goes for both of us,” his smile broke out and he laughed. Cas couldn’t hold back his laugh either. “Dude, I almost fucking exploded the other night. It felt like I had a baby strapped to my dick. I can’t do that again.” Cas laughed some more and nodded.

When their laughter died down, their grins stayed plastered on their faces. Dean’s eyes were twinkling. _Stop that._ Cas swallowed. "What about kissing? Is that too... intimate?"

Dean licked his lips absently in thought and Cas found himself hoping the answer was no. "I think kissing is okay if it's to get us going."

Cas smiled inwardly. “So are we really doing this?” He inched closer, his eyes flashing between Dean’s eyes and his lips.

“I think we are.” Dean was inching closer, too. For a while, it was like the other night: lips an inch apart and sharing each other’s air. Only now, they were completely sober and even more nervous. _We’re doing this._ Cas closed the distance between them and sealed their lips together. Dean brought his hands up and fisted them in the top of Cas’ hoodie and lifted them closer. Cas licked Dean’s bottom lip, and it was game over. Whatever they were holding back was released, and it was _on._

Dean deepened the kiss and moved his hands to Cas’ hips and brought them both to their knees. Cas held both sides of Dean’s head and splayed his fingers through his hair. Dean tugged their hips flush together and Cas moaned into his mouth. Dean broke their kiss just long enough to yank the hoodie and shirt off of Cas in one movement, sending his glasses flying off with them. Cas’ flush ran from his face all the way down. He hurriedly grabbed the sides of Dean's face and kissed him again, biting his lip while Dean lightly scratched down Cas’ side.

Cas hissed in pleasure. “ _Dean,_ " he moaned, his voice rough and cracked. Cas practically ripped Dean’s shirt off of him and threw it across the room. He grabbed him by the shoulders and brought their mouths crashing together. Dean groaned at his aggression and moved one hand to the back of Cas’ thigh. He gripped tightly and tugged forward, sending Cas falling to his back and landing his head on the pillow. Due to the small size of the twin bed, Dean hurriedly threw Cas’ stuff off of the bed while Cas tried to unbutton his pants as fast as he could. Dean kissed him eagerly again, and when Cas fumbled to try and pull his jeans down, Dean moved to kissing and nipping at his jaw and neck. Dean grabbed the pants on the sides and pulled down harshly, his fingernails accidentally digging and scratching into Cas' hips. "Fuck!" He sat back and tugged as hard as he could until they were off and he threw them over his shoulder. Castiel’s erection was completely tenting his boxer briefs, a little spot on it where precome was forming. 

While Dean was busy studying Cas’ almost-naked body, Cas reached his hands forward and unbuttoned Dean’s jeans. Dean’s hips unintentionally bucked forward, seeking more friction. Cas grinned and bit his lip as he tugged down the jeans. He got them down to the knees, and Dean pulled them the rest of the way off. Dean climbed back in between Cas’ legs and brought their hips and chests flush together. Cas let out a louder mewl and brought his hands under Dean’s arms and dug into his back.

Dean’s hips seized forward, earning a groan from both of them. “Ah- fuck, Cas,” he breathed. They started an even grind with their hips, slow, long and sensual. Dean rested on one elbow next to Cas’ head and ran his fingers through the hair before tugging on it. With the other hand, he ran it up and down Cas’ heated chest and rubbed two fingers on one nipple. Cas let out a muffled moan and grinded his hips deeper onto Dean’s clothed dick. Dean grinned and tugged on the hair again, earning a little noise from Cas and him letting his head be pulled back. Dean sucked at his neck and bit down on where the neck meets his shoulder, nursing it with his tongue.

“Dean- _Dean!_ Dean. Oh my _God_ ,” Cas breathed. Dean kissed down the top of his chest and licked at one of Cas’ nipples, fingernail lightly tracing the other one. “ _Fuck,_ ” he cursed. Cas had both arms thrown over the top of Dean’s back now, scratching upwards. Dean shuddered and worried the other nipple with his teeth, flicking his tongue at it. Cas was in a constant state of groaning now, noises uncontrollable. Castiel had always been this way, not being able to really stifle his voice. 

Cas bucked his hips forward to get friction where he wanted it most. Getting the hint, Dean pulled Cas’ boxer briefs off slowly and tossed them aside. For a few moments, he just stared at Cas’ now completely naked body. Cas was so horny, he couldn’t even be self-conscious of his body or how much of a whore he was acting like. He ran his hands up Dean’s larger arms and rested on his chest and one on the back of his neck, bringing him down for another kiss. While their lips were connected, Cas slid his hands down Dean’s sides and slipped off his boxers from his ass. Dean let out a surprised laugh and grinded his hips forward. Cas smirked and dug his fingernails into the meat of his ass, kissing him harder.

“Jesus, Cas, you’re killing me,” Dean whispered with a smile. Cas grinned and pecked his lips again before tugging the boxers down to his knees. Dean’s cock slapped up against his stomach when it was released, and he hissed from the new air hitting it. Castiel rested his hands on the sides of Dean’s hips, his legs still wrapped around Dean's knees. Cas looked at it carefully, noticing it was only a little lighter than the tan from the rest of Dean’s body. It wasn’t porn-star-huge, but Dean certainly wasn’t lacking. He was probably the same length as Castiel, but he was thicker. Cas licked his lips. “Cas?” Dean asked after noticing Cas’ fixation. 

Cas subconsciously rubbed his thumbs in circles on Dean’s hips. “Honesty, right?” Dean nodded. “You have a _really_ nice dick.” Dean huffed a laugh and leaned down to kiss him and place his hands on Cas’ hips.

“You do, too,” he whispered into Castiel's neck. Dean moved his hand and lightly grasped the base of Cas’ cock. Cas moaned his name and surged his hips forward. Castiel opted to fist around the top of Dean’s first, gathering precome on his hands before gliding down his shaft. “Cas,” Dean breathed. He brought their bodies completely together, and Cas wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist like it was the most natural thing in the world. Dean stroked more firmly now that they’d gotten used to the new touches, and kissed him deeply. Dean thumbed at the slit of Cas’ cock before spreading more precome over the head.

“Dean,” Cas mewled brokenly. This wasn’t going to last very long, but he didn’t worry because Dean’s breathing was coming quicker, too. Cas used his legs to move Dean’s hips closer as he stroked his dick faster. Dean rolled his hips into Cas’ and moaned softly into his mouth. “Faster, Dean,” he urged. Dean nodded eagerly and tried to kiss him, but their deep kiss turned into a series of desperate pecks, not always landing on their lips. Cas worked in a snap of his wrist and grinded his hips up into Dean’s hand simultaneously. He brought his other hand to the back of Dean’s neck and dug his nails into his scalp. Dean shivered and fisted his cock faster. “DeanDeanDean _fuckDean_ ,” he canted loudly, his voice hoarse. Cas thumbed at the head of Dean’s cock with every upward stroke and Dean’s hips sputtered erratically.

“Shit, Cas, oh _god,_ gonna-" Dean came hard over Cas’ hand and bottom of his stomach. Cas slowed his hand and worked him through, while trying to keep it together from Dean’s hand stroking faster and faster, cocking a little at the top of the stroke.

He let out a loud, long moan and squeezed his eyes shut. “ _Dean_ -!" he called loudly. Cas surged his hips forward and came harder than he has in a long time. Dean kissed him long and slow as he stroked him softly. They pulled their mouths apart and rested their foreheads together, chests heaving as they tried to catch their breath. Their bodies stayed intertwined, neither men having enough energy to move yet. 

Dean kissed him again, bordering on chaste. “Did we really just do that?” he asked breathily. It would’ve been inaudible if he wasn’t less than an inch from Cas.

Castiel grinned. “I think we did.”


	6. September 15

_Thank God for Saturdays._ Dean cherished the weekends because he didn’t have to wake up early, didn’t have to sit through boring lectures, and he had time to do whatever he wanted when he was off work. He woke up around 9 am, his brain fortunately or unfortunately stuck in the habit of getting up around then, and looked around the room as he stretched lazily, still laying down. Cas was showered and dressed, sitting at his desk and working out of a textbook.

Memories of the night before washed over him and he smiled to himself. Putting his idea out in the open to Cas was a shot in the dark at best, and he was worried Cas would have been too disgusted or weirded out by him to continue being friends. The reaction that came to pass was better than he could’ve imagined. He was hesitant at first, as to be expected- sex with your dude best friend isn’t exactly something most straight dudes jump headfirst into- but when he accepted, Dean was relieved. And when they started kissing, Cas wasn’t just present like a lot of girls he’s had- he was _active_ , enthusiastic even. Any idea Dean had had about Cas being inexperienced flew right out the window.

He was _by far_ the most receptive person he’s ever been with- moaning and mewling delicious noises, muscles tensing and relaxing with every touch, and _screaming_ his name. That was definitely something he never wanted to forget _(In retrospect, people could probably hear us. I need to take care of that.)_. 

And- _thank God_ \- it wasn’t even awkward afterwards. They’d gotten up and gathered their clothes that were scattered all over the room and laughed easily. Dean had whined about needing a shower and Cas gave him a sarcastic look and pointed at his painted stomach, causing them both to laugh again. 

Judging by Cas’ presence this morning, he was okay with what happened. _Maybe this can work out after all._

Cas must’ve sensed his being awake because he turned to look at him and smiled before returning his attention back to his work. Dean sat up and hunched his back forward to crack it- he was really going to need to learn to sleep in a different position for the safety of his back. He stood up and walked over to the desk, leaning against it. “Good morning. You dressed already? I thought you didn’t work until 3,” he said as he peered over Cas to look at his homework. _Hell if I know what he’s doing._

“I don’t. I went to eat breakfast and needed time to work on my homework that you prevented me from doing last night.” He looked at Dean long enough to raise an eyebrow and smirk. He turned back and resumed his work.

Dean grinned. “Mm, I didn’t hear you complaining.” Dean mussed the black hair and Cas chuckled, pushing his hand away. “Did I miss breakfast?”

“Yeah, it ended about a half-hour ago.” Dean frowned disappointedly. “But I knew you’d probably sleep through it and I brought you back a muffin,” he said as he reached into his backpack and pulled out a blueberry muffin encased in napkins.

“You are the _best_ , man,” he thanked as he took the muffin and bit into it. Sure, it wasn’t eggs and bacon, but he was starving- and Cas couldn’t very easily have smuggled a full meal out of the dining hall- so he wasn’t about to complain.

“I know,” Cas replied as he closed his book and gave Dean a pretend-smug look. Dean scoffed and punched him in the shoulder with the last bit of muffin in his mouth. “What time do you go to the shop today?”

Dean held up a finger so he could try to dryly swallow the too-big bite. “Noon. I should probably get ready. Thank you for the food.” He walked towards the bathroom and turned to add “among other things” with a wink.

Cas grinned widely and looked away. “Shut up and get ready.” Dean laughed and closed the door. _Maybe this really can work._

&&

Castiel finally finished all of his seemingly-endless homework around one o’clock. He grumbled and let his head fall to the desk, resting his eyes. He spent maybe a whole two minutes with his eyes closed, just breathing into the desk. His cell beeped twice from its place on his bed and he sighed.

 _I have two hours until I need to go into work. Please don’t be asking me to come in early._ Cas stood up and unlocked his phone. Charlie had sent him a text that said _“Z-man’s here. He wants to leave and said you need to be here in 30.”_

“Naturally,” he mumbled. He typed out, _“Fuck, I hate that guy. Whatever. Be there soon.”_ Cas put his uniform on morosely and dragged himself out the door. As soon as he got to ‘Brews, Zachariah went off on him.

“Did a snail bring you here? What took you so long? It’s not like you have anything else to do.”

_What the hell is wrong with this jerk?_ Castiel tried to remain polite; the last thing he needed was to lose his job. “I left as soon as Charlie texted me, but I have to walk here,” he said as he clocked in.

Zachariah rolled his eyes and tossed his smock into the closet. “You’re still scheduled to work until 7, so don’t get any ideas about leaving early.” Cas sighed and nodded. The manager clocked out and stormed out of the shop. Zachariah really reminded him of his eldest brother, Michael. He was impatient, rude, and had a holier-than-thou attitude. But his brother wasn’t a very pleasant topic to think about, so he shook the thought away.

“What the _fuck_?” Cas grumbled. He rubbed a hand over his face. “I was actually having an okay day and then _wham_! Assbutt numero uno goes and ruins it.”

“ _You_ had an okay day?” Charlie asked incredulously. 

“Well, I had a ton of homework to get caught up on, so it wasn’t _great_ … Why? I’m not allowed to partially enjoy my life now?” he teased. 

She studied his face a little longer before her grin spread. “You little shit! You got laid last night and weren’t going to tell me!”

Cas’ face blushed deeply. “I did not!”

“Who was it? Meg?”

“ _No_ ,” he answered quickly. Charlie’s grin widened, but he cut her off before she could say anything. “It wasn’t anybody.”

“Okay, Cas.” She winked at him. He blushed even darker and looked away pointedly. _Was it that obvious?_

&&

Dean glided through work effortlessly. His good mood earned some extra attention from Rufus and the other mechanics. He deflected their questions easily enough- nothing was going to ruin his mood today. When he got off work at 6, he decided to call Sam; he'd neglected to call him even once that week.

It rang through twice before Sam picked up. “Hey, Dean.”

“Sammy! How’s it hangin’?” he asked cheerily as he got inside the impala and started her up.

“Well you would know if you’d bothered to call this week,” Sam retorted mockingly.

“Been busy. But I’m not busy now, so talk to me.”

“I’m fine. What were you so busy with?”

_Cas_. “School stuff, other stuff- nothing of your business,” he answered light-heartedly.

Sam huffed a laugh. “Were you busy with whoever is making you so annoyingly happy right now?”

Dean grinned to himself. “Maybe. But I called to talk about you, not me. So tell me what happened with school and whatnot.”

“I met a girl a while ago.”

“Oh?” Instead of heading back to campus, he drove toward the department store. _I almost forgot to deal with Cas’ noise problem. Scratch that: definitely not a problem. Just something that might attract a little unwanted attention, is all._

“Yeah. Her name is Madison. She’s really nice and funny- she likes those soap operas you watch all the time-“

“ _Daytime dramas_ , Sammy,” he corrected.

“Yeah, whatever. And she’s a dog person, like me.”

“Dude, you had one dog a million years ago.” He chuckled and continued before Sam could start. “So you like this girl, huh?”

“Yeah. I really do,” Sam said sincerely.

_This moment is too sappy for me. We should fix that._ “You getting’ any?”

“What?” Sam blurted.

“Come on, Sammy. You said she was nice- how nice is she?”

He could practically hear Sam turning red. “Shut up, Dean.”

“Can I take that as a yes?”

“You can take it as a that’s none of your business,” he said pointedly.

Dean laughed. “That’s my boy.” He pulled into a parking spot and started walking into the store.

“So, how’s your roommate- Castiel?” Sam asked, changing the subject.

_Soft, delicious, really good with his hands._ He laughed to himself. He probably shouldn’t tell Sam that. “He’s good. I guess he’s been wound a little tight lately- he almost snapped when he failed a test the other day.”

“Didn’t you say he was one of those quiet, smart people?”

“Yeah, _really_ smart. And he’s quiet sometimes, sure, but he’s definitely loud when he wants to be,” he added sidely with a smirk. He walked over to the electronics section and looked at the smaller iPod docking stations.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, nothing. Hey, what kind of iPod do I have?” he asked as he picked up a box and examined it.

“What? I got you a nano, like, two years ago… Why?” he replied, confused.

“Would I be able to use the iHome thing or do I have to just get one of those individual plug-in speakers?”

“You can do both… The speaker is cheaper, but the docking stations usually have better sound and come with a remote.”

“That could come in handy… And we need as much volume as possible, so,” he mumbled to himself mindlessly.

“What?” Sam repeated.

“Nothing, sorry. Thinking about having a party, and I need something for music,” he lied. Dean picked one out and wandered in the direction of the personal aisle. 

“You do know that not everyone listens to music that came out forty years ago, right?” Sam gibed. 

“Shut up, bitch.” Sam snorted lightly. Dean looked at the long line of condoms and paused. He avoided thinking of Cas as best as he could. _A chick might come along, and what will I do if I’m not prepared? I should be prepared, right? Just in case._ “Hey, Sammy, think I should get ribbed?” he taunted. He’d stopped being uncomfortable around Sam a long time ago, but Sam still hadn’t, so he enjoyed teasing him as often as he could.

“ _What?_ ” Sam snapped louder. Dean grinned.

“Y’know, _ribbed for her pleasure_ \- ooh, or flavored?”

“Dean-“ Sam started.

“Both? Okay, strawberry or grape? Sour apple is a little too hard, right? Then again, I guess she wouldn’t be too put off by something hard, am I right?” he teased relentlessly.

“DEAN!” Sam yelled, voice cracking. Dean chuckled.

“Okay, okay; I’m done.”

Sam sighed. “Thank you.” 

Dean looked over at the lubricants. _Girls like that stuff, too, right? Yeah. I should just be prepared, right? Yeah._ It gave him an idea and he couldn’t resist embarrassing him further. “Do you prefer KY or flavored lube?”

Sam screeched unintelligibly. “I do not need to hear this!” Dean couldn’t hold back his laughter. “Jerk.”

“Bitch.” Sam hung up. _Oh, he’s too easy._ Dean turned his attention back to the purchase at hand. _Not for Cas. For the ladies. Yeah._ He nodded reassuringly and went with the standards for both items. _Could come in handy._

&&

Charlie’s shift ended a half-hour ago- right before Chuck showed up to take her spot. Castiel was completely exhausted from all of the homework and rush of customers. Chuck seems to be in a particularly out-of-character cheerful mood, so Cas hoped maybe he would take over most of the duties and let Cas relax until the end of his shift.

“Hello, Castiel. Wonderful evening we’re having, isn’t it?” He greeted with a wide grin as he put his smock on. He grunted in reply. “You will never guess what happened.” Cas grunted again. Chuck didn’t seem to notice his current state of disinterest, or he didn’t care. “I met a fan.”

_Somebody actually reads his stories?_ “Uh-huh?” he voiced in a higher tone.

“Yeah. Her name is Becky- Becky Rosen. I was typing on my laptop at the Starbucks across the street from the library- and you know how I have the anti-possession symbol drawn on there in sharpie, right? Well, she noticed it and asked if I read them, too. And- oh my God- you wouldn’t believe the look on her face when I told her I’m the writer. She totally wanted me.”

Cas grunted again. _She can’t be too sane if she’s into that crap_. Chuck was great and all, but Cas didn’t see the appeal in two ghost-busting brothers with daddy issues and sexual tension.

“Yeah, I know, right? So, I asked her out. _I actually asked her out._ And she said yes! Could this day get any better?”

“I can think of a few ways it could improve,” he mumbled. _Most of which involve Dean and his very talented hands._ He grinned to himself. Chuck didn’t seem to notice his comment and continued his ramblings. To his pleasure, Chuck was in such a blissed-out mood, he took care of all of the work easily. To Cas’ _dis_ pleasure, that didn’t stop him from running his mouth endlessly. _Seven o’clock, please come quickly._

&&

When Dean arrived back at the room, Cas was still at work. Thankfully, that gave him time to hide his two “just in case” purchases and set up the docking station.

 _Right now would be such a great time for me to magically learn how to do this shit._ He fumbled around with the cords before deciding to look at the directions. When he finally got it all set up, he plugged his iPod in and tested the remote. Music barely came out, so he tried to turn it up. When the sound was at a loud-but-not-too-bothersome level, he turned it back off. _That should prevent people from hearing Cas. That way only I can hear the way he screams my name._ He felt his dick give an interested twitch and he smirked. _This was a good purchase._

He heard the door open and turned around. Cas looked… “You look like shit.”

Cas made a sarcastic face at him. “I am beyond done with today,” he replied as he came in and removed his shoes. “I had almost 4 hours’ worth of homework, I got called in two hours early- two hours I did not get relieved early for- and I had to listen to Chuck go on and on about some girl who reads his homoerotic incest-“ He finally noticed the stereo. “What’s that for?”

Dean smiled. “Well, you have a very loud mouth.” Cas scoffed, a light blush spreading on his cheeks. Dean approached him from behind and put his arms around his waist. “I like it,” he whispered into Cas’ ear. Cas grinned and put his hands on Dean’s forearms as they swayed slightly. He kissed his neck softly, earning a pleasant hum from Cas. “Don’t want anyone else to hear those noises you make for me,” he whispered between kisses.

A small moan formed in Cas’ chest. “How much do you like them, Dean?” He asked softly, running his hand through Dean’s hair as he encouraged him on.

“So much, Cas- _fuck_ so much,” he murmured, putting his lips to the sensitive patch of skin under Cas’ ear, nibbling on the lobe.

He grinned and made a slightly deeper groan. “Really?” Dean nodded against his neck. “So what would you do if I did this?” Cas opened his mouth slightly and let out a breathy moan. Dean rubbed his clothed erection into the small of his back and lifted Cas’ shirt off. “And if I did this?” The moan was louder, and slightly higher-pitched. Dean turned Cas’ head enough to face him and kiss his lips as he ran his hands up and down his torso. When he pulled his lips away, Cas grinned even wider. “Okay. How about-“ the moan he let out was so loud, Dean’s eyes widened. Cas didn’t stop at just one this time. He breathed exaggeratedly and made little moans between and biting his lips. He threw his head back. “Oh, Dean- Dean,” he breathed. “Oh yeah! _Fuck_ , right there! Ah, _Dean!_ ” he shouted.

Dean turned Cas around quickly and pressed his mouth to Cas’. He pulled their hips together and pushed him up against the desk. Cas laughed and deepened the kiss as he wrapped his arms above Dean’s shoulders. “You’re gonna be the death of me, man,” Dean said breathlessly when he finally pulled away.

“You’d better hurry up and turn on that music,” Cas said, raising an eyebrow at him mischievously. He leaned his head back and shut his eyes. “DE-!” Before he could finish screaming his name out, Dean grabbed the sides of his face and crashed their mouths together. He moved his hands to the back of his thighs and lifted him onto the edge of the desk so he was standing between Cas’ legs. He grinded his hips into Cas’ pointedly. Cas’ groan was sincere this time and he fisted Dean’s shirt to bring them closer.

Dean tried to find the remote without parting from Cas. When his hands landed on it, he pulled his mouth away. Cas started moaning loudly again, so Dean hurriedly covered Cas' open mouth with his hand. He and Castiel laughed breathlessly while Cas tried to lick his palm. "Ew, you freak."

He stared at the remote, trying to find the on button while Cas took the opportunity to take off Dean’s shirt, moving Dean's hand from his mouth in the process. He threw the shirt off to the side and leaned forward, kissing and sucking at Dean’s neck and chest. Dean still couldn’t figure out where the button was, and Cas was being very distracting. When Cas grabbed his ass and pulled his hips closer and licked at his nipple simultaneously, Dean bucked his hips forward. “ _Fuck_ , I am never going to get this thing on if you keep doing that,” he breathed. Cas chuckled; he kept him close, but kissed his chest gingerly instead of what he was doing. Dean finally got the music on. _It’s about fucking time._ ACDC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” blared out of the speakers. Cas raised a questioning eyebrow at him. “That was not on purpose. And I hope you’re good with classic rock because ‘mood music’ would probably be suspicious.”

“Right now, I really couldn’t care less about music,” he said. Dean leaned down and kissed him again, dirtier than their chaste kiss from earlier. Cas whimpered and moved his hands down to Dean’s jeans and tried to unbutton them. He got the button undone and the fly down when he reached in and cupped Dean’s dick above his boxers. Dean breathed in deeply and rested his forehead against Cas’. "Good?"

Dean nodded eagerly, making fast work of undoing Cas’ slacks, picking him up get them down, and pulling them off roughly. Cas made a breathy groan when he fell back onto the hard desk. Dean tried to hurriedly pull down his jeans while Cas wrapped his legs around his waist and pulled them closer again. Cas pulled Dean in for another rough kiss and rutted his ass against him, two layers of cloth separating them. Dean stepped out of his jeans and leaned over Cas, so Cas was resting against the top of the desk and Dean held his hips firmly. 

Cas reached down and placed his hands on the front of his hips, right under the waistband of his boxers, surrounding his dick. He reached his fingertips in eagerly to pull them down, and Dean pulled his mouth from Cas’. Cas leaned up and sucked at his jaw and neck, kissing his Adams apple wetly as he tugged his boxers down further. From his angle, his arms weren’t long enough to get far down and Dean pulled back. “God, sex turns you into such a different person, you know that?” he breathed. He pulled his boxers the rest of the way down and stepped out of them, leaning back in to kiss his lips. “You’re kind of a slut,” he whispered. 

Cas grinned and nibbled at his lip affectionately. “Come on, Dean, hurry up,” he urged. Dean nodded and lifted him up again to tug his boxer briefs down. He pulled them off and discarded them over his shoulder. Dean pressed their bodies flush together again and their dicks grazed, earning a moan from Cas. _Shit, this is really not going to last long._ He reached his hand up in front of Cas’ face. Without hesitation, Cas pulled the hand to his mouth and licked it. He licked the palm and each individual finger while staring Dean straight in the eyes. Dean bit his lip. _Fuck, his mouth is hot._ Cas took the middle finger into his mouth and slightly sucked on it, swirling his tongue around the top of it before pulling off with a wet _pop._

“Fuck, Cas,” Dean breathed. Cas grinned and let go of his hand. Dean leaned in for a kiss and reached between them, grasping both of their cocks together. Cas gasped into his mouth and threw his head back.

" _Dean._ " He put his hands on the top of Dean’s shoulders and dug his nails into the skin. Dean stroked their dicks faster, running his thumb over the slit of Cas’ on each upward movement. Cas began unconsciously thrusting his hips up into his fist for extra friction. He was breathing heavy and whispering Dean’s name encouragingly, head still resting on the top of the desk with his eyes shut. Dean began planting kisses and little bites to Cas’ exposed neck. 

Cas wrapped his thighs around Dean tighter and pulled his shoulders in closer. Cas was moaning loudly and whispering unintelligibly in his ear. The heat from Cas’ body was making him sweat, and he wanted it to consume him. Dean moved his hand faster and added the little twist at the end he knew he liked- hoping Cas did, too- and kissed the side of Cas’ face frantically. He had his other hand on the small of his back and dug his fingers in roughly. Cas groaned even louder and scratched from Dean’s shoulder blades to his chest. “ _Shit_ , Cas,” he moaned. 

Dean was so close, but he didn’t want to come before Cas again so he bit his lip and tried to hold it back. Cas was almost screaming, Dean could tell he was trying not to be too loud. He tugged rougher at Cas’ cock pointedly and Cas rewarded him with not holding back. “Dean- _Dean_! Ohmygod _Dean_ -!” He shouted as he came.

“Cas, _fuck_ -“ he groaned throatily. As soon as he heard his name, Dean fell over the edge with him. Their chests were heaving and bodies glistening with sweat, and Cas was grinning dumbly. Cas must've realized how hard he was digging into Dean’s pecks and removed them slowly. 

He put the hand on top of his head and ran it through his messy, dark hair. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. Dean smiled at him and kissed him softly.

“Don’t be,” he murmured into Cas’ mouth. He kissed him again. “I like it when you lose control like that.” Cas chuckled softly and shook his head. He leaned back and licked his lips, a movement Dean studied thoroughly. Dean fought back a whimper. _Next time._


	7. September 20

The sunshine and fine weather couldn’t last forever, unfortunately. It had been bright and dry for weeks, and this day was the day all of the pent-up rain decided to pour down mercilessly. Dean was sitting through an especially excruciating History lecture, the sound of rain beating down on the roof adding to the monotony of the class. His professor- some man he still hadn’t bothered to learn the name of- was so boring, he could probably put Ferris Bueller’s teacher to sleep. 

Dean was leaning back in his seat, switching between scribbling mindless circles and writing down lyrics. Gordon was asleep, resting his head on his fist next to Dean’s shoulder. Every few seconds, he would snore in Dean’s ear and smack his lips. Dean squirmed in his seat and tried to tune it out. Gordon’s head slipped out of his hand and landed on Dean’s shoulder. He didn’t seem to notice and cozied his face onto Dean’s shoulder and smacked his lips again before breathing loudly.

“Dude,” Dean grumbled, pulling his shoulder away from Gordon. His head fell and he inhaled suddenly, waking himself up. 

Gordon squinted and peered at Dean from the corner of his eyes. “What?” He sat up straighter and wiped some drool from the side of his mouth. 

Dean couldn’t hold back his disgusted look. “You were trying to get all cuddly with me, man,” Dean answered snidely. 

Gordon smirked lazily and settled back down in his seat. “Oh, I’m sorry, Princess; you save all of your snuggles for your pretty boyfriend, ain’t that right?” he teased quietly.

“What?” He whipped his head to stare at Gordon straight-on.

Gordon chuckled. “I _said_ you only cuddle up with that pretty boyfriend of yours- Cassie.”

Dean elbowed him sharply. “ _Cas_ is not my boyfriend. We’re just friends, dude.”

Gordon snorted again mockingly and rested his head back on his other hand and closed his eyes. “Whatever, man. Wake me up when this fuckface dismisses class.”

Dean rolled his eyes. _These are the asshats I call friends. Awesome._ He returned to his slack position in his seat and started writing again. Back at home, Dean had taught himself how to play the guitar when he was 13. He started writing songs when he was 16 or 17, mostly just random thoughts or ideas that struck him on occasion, sometimes they had more meaning, and he wrote them in the form of lyrics- _because only bitches write in frilly little diaries._ The past two years, though, he’s had a pretty bad dry spell. He never felt inspired enough to write anything halfway decent, and he left his guitar back in Lawrence instead of bringing it back for his sophomore year. Today felt different, though. He stopped writing and studied his paper.

_I always dreamed of somewhere over the rainbow, a dream of something more._  
 _A different life was calling to me- one I didn’t know._  
 _The day came with dust and wind; a tornado took me by surprise._  
 _I didn’t know that this would be the end._  
 _But we’re not in Kansas anymore. The dusty trail turned to yellow brick._  
 _Now I’m all alone, and all I wanna do is get back home._

He chewed on the inside of his cheek while he scrutinized his work. It’s still pretty jank, but at least it’s better than the utter shit he was penning this time last year. Dean was feeling a little homesick lately, and it probably didn’t help that he just watched The Wizard of Oz with Ash while listening to Pink Floyd and testing some of Ash’s new products. 

It’s not that college wasn’t great- it’s been fun and he’s met some pretty cool people- but family is the most important thing in his life. It was the only reason he was in college in the first place, to be honest. And being so far from Sam was hard on him. He couldn’t talk to him whenever he wanted, couldn’t see how he was doing, couldn’t make sure he was safe and happy. He just had phone calls every now and then when they would go over the basics, make a joke or two, and then go about the rest of their day. 

It wasn’t like it was back home; Dean and Sam would wake up together, get ready for school together- Sam would hog the bathroom too long and Dean would pick the lock and call him a pretty boy for primping so much- go to school together, see each other between classes, eat lunch together. On days when Dean didn’t have football practice, he would hang out at school with his friends or go home and watch TV until it was time to pick Sam up from soccer or Debate Team practice; they would go to the diner and talk about whatever- Dean would pick on Sam for getting a salad, Sam would tell Dean he’s going to get fat for only eating burgers and fries- and then they would go home. His mom would cook dinner, and it was always something amazing. John would get home right before dinner, and they would sit at the table and talk about their day. Life back in Kansas was easy; it was normal and safe, but Dean had always wanted to get out and do something fun. But life 2,000 miles away was way too unexpected, too different, and he didn’t have any of the comforts of back home to keep him grounded. 

He was lucky to have Cas, though. He keeps his mind off of what he’s missing, and keeps it on what he has here. And what he has here isn’t all too bad, if he’s honest with himself. He’s second-string on the football team, so he doesn’t have to go to _every_ practice- it’s the perfect amount of responsibility for him, and still enough to keep him in school- he’s got plenty of friends, and classes weren’t too hard. He and Cas hadn’t changed at all, really. They hung out as they usually did, nothing had gotten romantic or too much to handle- and whenever one or both of them was in the mood, they would crank up the stereo and take care of business with kisses, licks, and touches that leave them happy and sated. 

Hands were nice, and Cas was pretty fucking good at what he did, but Dean wanted to take it further. He thought about how soft and pliant Cas’ lips were, how they got a little swollen when they kissed, and how they glistened when he licked them. Not having his cock between those lips was probably the biggest injustice in the universe. Dean squirmed in his seat again and bit his lip. _Tonight. There’s no way I’m not getting it tonight._

The rest of the students in class stirred and began standing up and leaving, so Dean assumed the professor had dismissed class. He sat up and looked at Gordon who was completely knocked out and snoring. He smirked and decided not to wake him up. _That’s what you get for being a dick, Walker._

&&

Castiel loves rainy days. He’s naturally an inside type of person, and rain gives him an excuse to stay indoors. He can always find a nice book, get comfortable and just sit and read and listen to the rain. It’s a soothing sound, repetitive in every way. The rain was always a sure thing; it never lasted forever, but you could always expect it to come back eventually. Cas was too used to things in his life not being that way, so he found comfort in the eternality of the rain.

Generally, his family wasn’t a subject Castiel really liked to think about, but he had no choice but to face his memories head-on today. When he got back to the dorms after class and finished his homework, he checked his email. An email from an address he’d never received messaged from was sitting in his spam box. _From: trickster69@yahoo.com; Subject: long time no see._ Castiel rolled his eyes. He knew exactly who the email was from and was reluctant to open it. Nonetheless, he can’t very well ignore the only brother who still claimed him, so he read it.

_Hey, baby bro! It’s been a long time. Almost a year, right? I hope you didn’t change your email address, or else I don’t know when I’ll ever be able to talk to you again._

_Anyways, Mike called me the other day. Said he and his wife don’t want us over for Thanksgiving to ruin his house like last year._ Castiel rubbed a hand over his face. Last year’s Thanksgiving was not a pleasant memory. _What a dick, right? Well I know we haven’t seen or talked to each other since then, but I’d really like to change that. We can get together for the holiday if you want. Just us two- drinking, being merry, the typical family shit. I know you might not really want to see me after so long, but I’m hoping you’re willing to forgive me._

_I miss you, baby bro. If I don’t hear back from you, I’ll totally understand. But even if you’re not ready to meet up again, please just message me back. I need to at least know you’re okay._

_Damn that was a sappy ending._

_-Gabriel Novak  
Professional trickster/love-maker extraordinaire_

_PS, Have you heard from Anna?_

Cas sat back and stared blankly at the screen. He really should have figured the day would come when one of his siblings would contact him and ask for forgiveness. Even if he was hoping it would have been one of his other two brothers, Gabriel’s was more expected- which wasn’t saying much. This completely took him off-guard and old memories forced their way into his head.

_…don’t want us over for Thanksgiving to ruin their house like last year._ So Michael wasn’t even going to celebrate the holidays with his siblings at all? Luke was the second oldest, and a raging alcoholic with violent tendencies who was practically homeless in the slums of Chicago, so his place was definitely out of the picture. God knows where Gabriel is living right now. As far as Cas knows, nobody has heard from Anna in two years. _No Thanksgiving at all this year. I guess that’s not very surprising after what happened._

 

The year prior, Michael had insisted everyone at least try to be civil to one another, even if he was averse to exposing his new house in the suburbs and his beautiful trophy wife to the disaster that is the Novak family. Luke took a month to finally be convinced, Gabriel had agreed to go only if everyone else was going, and Anna couldn’t be reached. Castiel was the most hesitant because of the way his family feels about him and how he is treated, but he had allowed himself to hope that they’d changed their minds and would welcome him back with open arms. _And hell if that wasn’t the dumbest notion I could’ve had._

When Cas arrived at the airport in Illinois, he got a call from Michael saying he couldn’t pick him up. He used some of the little bit of money he had for bus fare and got to Pontiac two hours later. The raised voices could be heard from the driveway leading to the house. After knocking and waiting to be let in for almost five whole minutes, a tall blonde woman- Michelle, he later learned- answered the door wordlessly and rushed him inside with a nervous look on her face before retreating back to the kitchen. _Michael and Michelle; how so subtly narcissistic of him._ Castiel waited just inside of the door, used to being told what to do and when to do it when he got home. Luke was drunk already, swinging his half-empty beer bottle around with every word. Michael was scorning him for not having any decency to be sober for just these two days- that he didn’t have any alcohol in the house and he didn’t know where Luke had gotten it. Michael mentioned something Cas didn’t hear about their father and Luke threw his bottle at Michael’s head. The bottle missed and shattered against the wall, earning a shriek from Michelle from the kitchen. Michael approached Luke offensively, but Luke stormed out of the house before he could reach him. Michael punched the door and stared angrily at it before turning to glare at Castiel who had still been standing and watching helplessly.

“Well, are you just going to stand there? Damn, Castiel, I swear you are the dumbest fucking kid…” Michael spat at him loudly. Cas flinched at his words. Michael mumbled under his breath and started picking up broken pieces of glass. Castiel did what he used to do when they all lived together- he locked himself in a room and tried to busy himself with books until someone came to get him. Somehow every time he was around his family, he regressed into the scared little kid he was growing up in a turbulent household. Gabriel had chosen an alternate approach and faced Michael’s attitude with his usual passive-aggressive sense of humor. He knew it pissed his brother off, but that’s probably why he did it so much. After Castiel heard an hour or two of pointless arguing, Gabriel came to find him, see if he was okay, and continue to talk badly about their oldest brother. They didn’t have dinner together that night, and Luke came stumbling in the house in the early hours of the next morning.

Castiel woke up the earliest out of the brothers and ventured to the kitchen. Michelle was cooking and humming to herself- and for a moment, it seemed like he was a part of a normal family. She reminded Cas of how their mom was when they were younger. She greeted him warmly and apologized for the previous night, and he offered to help her cook. They prepped a few dishes together and chatted easily. When Michael came down, the air reverted back to its usual tensive-fraught mood. 

“I see you finally decided to bless us with your presence, Castiel,” Michael said from over his shoulder at the coffee pot. Michelle sighed his name pleadingly.

“I, uh- I didn’t, um,” he stammered out quietly.

“Speak up, boy, or else we might not be able to tell just how stupid you are,” Michael sneered. Cas winced and looked away.

Michelle put her bowl down and stared at him effetely. “Michael, please!” The oldest brother excused himself and walked sternly out of the room with his coffee. “I’m so sorry, Castiel, he’s-“ she whispered sincerely. Cas was still looking down and trying to fight back tears. He nodded and gave her a feeble smile. She patted him on the hand and resumed cooking.

Thanksgiving dinner that evening wasn’t any better. Correction: it was much, much worse. Luke was drunk- as to be expected- but he was silent and brooding in his seat, glaring at his brothers- mostly Michael. Gabriel was trying to lighten the mood by telling a way too personal anecdote. When Michelle laughed nervously, Michael had demanded Gabriel “stop making everyone uncomfortable with your pointless stories.” Gabriel made a snide remark with a sarcastic smile and Michael glowered at him.

“So, how’s life in the _big city_? Is getting away everything you dreamed it would be?” Michael directed at Cas coldly.

Cas spoke cautiously. “Um, it’s good. My first roommate dropped out back in September, and they just put me with someone new-“

“How do you like him?” Michael interrupted.

“He’s okay, I guess. I don’t see us becoming too good of friends, but he’s tolerable enough.”

Michael laughed humorlessly and shook his head. “Castiel thinking he’s above everyone else, as usual,” he mumbled. Cas bit his lip and stared at his plate.

Luke snorted into his beer and rolled his eyes. “I wonder where he got that from.”

Michelle dropped her fork on the plate. “Gentlemen, _please_.”

“What are you trying to say exactly?” Michael asked, ignoring his wife and boring into Luke challengingly.

Gabriel joined in. “He’s saying you’re a self-righteous dick.”

“We don’t need your input, _drop-out_ ,” Michael snapped.

“Please stop yelling,” Castiel begged quietly, still looking at his lap.

“You have no right to tell us what to do- you’re the reason we’re all like this. _You_ ’re the one who tore this family apart!” Michael boomed, standing up and pounding his fists on the table. Castiel squeezed his eyes shut and felt hot tears rolling down his cheeks and dropping onto his hands.

“Will you _stop_ bringing that up?! If Dad hadn’t have left, this never would have happened!” Gabriel shouted, one hand on Castiel’s shoulder to comfort him. Cas crossed his arms and collapsed into himself- a habit he’d formed a long time ago.

“That doesn’t make it any less Castiel’s fault! Shit, he’s probably the reason Dad left anyway,” Michael screamed. Cas could taste blood on his mouth from biting his lip too hard, but he didn’t care. He shut his eyes tighter and started rocking in his seat, hoping it would all go away. Michael laughed bitterly again. “But I gotta say, with Luke here, it’s like Dad never left at all.”

Luke shot up out of his seat and slapped his plate off of the table, sending it flying across the room and crashing on the floor. Michelle yelped and rushed to clean it up. Gabriel wrapped his arm tighter around Castiel’s shaking shoulders and whispered in his hear for him to ignore it. Luke stormed out and threw a lamp at the wall before slamming the door behind him as he left.

Just an hour later, Castiel was waiting nervously by the door with his bags as Gabriel apologized to Michelle and offered to give her what little cash he did have for whatever damage they’d caused. She declined and understood their desire to leave early. Gabriel drove him to the airport in silence. He bid Cas a solemn good-bye and promised to get up with him when he could. They hadn’t talked since then. No Christmas gifts, letters, emails or calls were exchanged; Castiel stayed in his dorm over the holiday break, working every day and rereading some of his favorite books.

 

When Cas’ thoughts were about to escape him, he heard the door open. “Hey, Cas,“ Dean greeted. Castiel slammed the top of his laptop down hurriedly and wiped his cheeks, trying to compose himself. He turned around and gave Dean a weak smile. “What’s wrong?”

Cas shook his head and waved a hand. “Oh, it’s the rain. Weather change and whatnot,” he said as he sniffed.

Dean shrugged it off and nodded. “Yeah, this weather is ridiculous.” Dean shook the water out of his hair and took off his wet leather jacket. “It stopped raining on my way here, though. Wanna do something?”

Cas chuckled. “As much as I’d like to, I’m really-“

Dean laughed and cut him off. “No, I mean, like, actually do something. Like go to the movies?”

Cas furrowed his brow and tilted his head. “Isn’t that a little… _date-y_?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart. I’m craving popcorn and the dollar rerun theater is playing ‘Friday the 13th’ tonight. So, you wanna go or not?”

_If he says it’s just a movie, it’s just a movie. It couldn’t hurt._ “Yeah, sure.” 

Around 8 o’clock, Cas put his jacket on and reached for his umbrella. “You don’t need that,” Dean said.

“It’s been raining all day,” Cas replied questioningly.

Dean peered outside and studied the sky. “Well it stopped a couple of hours ago, and it doesn’t look like it’s going to start back up again.” He turned around and smiled at Cas. “Trust me.” Cas put the umbrella back and they left the dormitory.

“You know, you say that a lot,” Cas said as they started walking toward the theater. The air was humid and gross, their feet constantly stepping in puddles and making their socks damp.

Dean looked over at him. “Say what?”

Cas buried his hands in his jacket pockets and kept his eyes forward. If Dean wasn’t going to watch where they were going, he was going to have to. “’Trust me’. You know, if you keep saying it, I’m probably going to start thinking you’re just trying to get me to do whatever you want.”

Dean smirked at him. “So asking you to trust me is all I gotta do to get you to do anything I want?” He winked at him.

Cas huffed out a laugh and rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Dean.”

Dean sent Castiel to find a pair of seats for them while he bought the snacks. Cas chose two seats in the very back- which wasn’t very far back at all, seeing as the “theater” was just basically a room with 20something chairs and a projector in the middle of the room separating the sides. _Nobody ever said we didn’t get our money’s worth._ When Dean came into the room, he was carrying a large soda, a large popcorn, and two boxes of candy. He was smiling like this was the happiest day of his life and walked hesitantly so as to not drop anything.

“Wow, do you think you got enough?” Cas asked jokingly.

Dean grinned even wider and arranged himself comfortably. “You can never have enough movie food.”

Cas rolled his eyes and laughed, slouching back in his seat. “You’re such a fatass.”

“Hey! I resent that,” he retorted as he stuffed a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t be such a fatass,” he teased. Dean made a mocking face at him and kept eating. When the movie started, there were two couples and a group of guys scattered around the seats. 

Dean had apparently seen this movie enough times to be able to recite it almost word for word. He was mumbling under his breath through mouthfuls of food and drink. Cas sent him an incredulous look. “ _Dean_ ,” he hissed.

“What?” Cas raised his eyebrows to get his point across. Dean shook his head dumbly.

“Stop talking,” he said. Dean rolled his eyes and threw a piece of popcorn at Cas’ face. “Hey!” He picked the piece up from where it fell on his shirt and ate it. “At least make it in my mouth next time, buttface.” 

Dean looked at him lustfully. “I plan on it,” he whispered. 

Cas could feel his face redden and he smiled. He looked away, licked and bit his bottom lip self-consciously. “Stop talking and watch the movie.” He crossed his arms and focused on the projection screen. _Did he mean that? Oh shit. Oh my god oh my god oh my god what do I do?_

Dean shut up for the most part until there was about 30 minutes left of the movie. Cas was slouching pretty far down in his seat, barely holding his head up enough to rest it on the back of the seat away from Dean. Dean had eaten all of his food- _really, how the hell can someone eat so much and still have a nice body?_ \- and was leaning away from Cas. Cas felt a warm hand sneak under the armrests and land on his thigh.

He looked down at the hand nervously and back up at Dean who was still staring at the screen. The hand started running up and down his thigh slowly, dipping to the inside and back out. Cas could feel the blood rush to his groin and his eyes rolled back momentarily. “Dean,” Cas whispered urgently.

Dean didn’t look away from the screen and kept his face blank. “Stop talking and watch the movie,” he murmured. Cas looked around the theater to see if anyone could see them. Nobody was looking in their direction, so he settled back in his seat and buried his face in his hand. Dean moved his hand to the inside of his thigh again and up to his crotch. Cas inhaled sharply and tried to focus on anything other than that hand. Dean left it still and gentle for a few moments before pressing his palm to the growing bulge.

Castiel bit down on his finger and covered his mouth. Dean worked his fingers at the bottom of his crotch while massaging his palm over Cas’ clothed dick. Cas subconsciously began rutting up his hips into the touch and breathing heavy. “I’m never watching a movie with you again,” he breathed. Dean smirked smugly and rewarded him with a firmer rub. “ _Fuck_ I hate you so much.”

“Obviously,” Dean whispered back. Cas rolled his eyes and chewed on his lip as he tried to fight back a moan. Dean dipped his hand all the way down the seam of his crotch and worked it back up firmly. Cas bucked his hips forward and sucked in a breath. The screen went black and Cas stood up quickly. “In a hurry?” Dean questioned teasingly.

“Get your shit and let’s go. _Now_ ,” he growled.

Dean bit his lip and smiled wolfishly. “Mm, I like it when you get bossy.” Cas rolled his eyes and walked briskly out of the room and waited at the door for Dean to throw away his trash in a painfully slow and deliberate way. Dean shot him a look before making his way slowly over to Cas. _God I’m going to kill him_. He was painfully hard and could feel himself shifting nervously on his feet. A couple walked by him and glanced at him; he gave them a fake smile and didn’t make eye contact. Dean finally caught up with him and Cas pushed him out of the door. Rain was pouring down relentlessly, soaking them both.

“I told you I should’ve brought my umbrella!” Cas shouted over the rain. 

Dean grinned at him. “Wanna race back to the room?”

Cas laughed. “It shouldn’t be too hard to beat a _fatass_ ,” he said as he started walking backwards.

“Asshole!” Dean shouted. They started running in the direction of their dorm, stomping in puddles and mud gracelessly. People under umbrellas walking on the sidewalk stared at them and they leaped out of their way to avoid collisions. They reached the door to the dormitory at the same time and Cas pushed Dean out of the way and got in the door first, darting for the stairs. “Hey, you’re cheating!” he yelled after him. Cas flipped him off before running into the stairwell. 

He climbed up them fast, briefly slipping on a step. Dean was a couple of steps behind him and bounded them two at a time. Cas reached the doorway first and sprinted to their room, dodging two other guys in the hallway. “Sorry!” he apologized in passing. Dean didn’t do so well in avoiding them and bumped into one of them inelegantly, murmuring apologizes over his shoulder. Cas hurried to unlock the door and laughed breathlessly. He got it unlocked and open at the same time Dean reached the door and he got pushed inside from behind. Dean slammed the door and locked it behind him, turning on the stereo behind him. Cas threw his jacket off and stepped out of his shoes simultaneously. Dean took the notion and tossed his jacket aside. He bent down gracelessly to take off his shoes and socks and stumbled. They both laughed, and Cas lifted his shirt off and stared at Dean with hooded eyes. Dean licked his lips and took his shirt off as well as unbutton his jeans and shove them down, stumbling around to slide them off of his calves. Castiel laughed and peeled his jeans off as well. As soon as both of the pants were discarded, Dean crossed the room and grabbed Cas’ face, bringing him in for a frantic, rough kiss. He licked into his mouth and Cas bit his bottom lip.

He pulled their mouths away to get words out quietly. “I really-“ kiss “fucking” kiss “hate you.” Dean grinned and kissed him harder, moving his hands down Cas’ sides and settling on his hips, pulling their damp bodies together. Cas gripped Dean’s shoulders tightly, rutting his incredibly hard clothed erection against Dean’s. He moaned into the kiss. “I mean it” kiss “such an” kiss “asshole.” Dean surged his hips forward and went to move his hands under Cas’ ass to lift him up, but Cas stopped him.

Dean looked at him questioningly as he breathed heavy. “What?” Cas bit his own lip and pushed Dean onto his bed. Dean stared at him, eyes wide, as he was sprung briefly on his mattress. Cas climbed on top of him slowly and brought their lips together. “So hot, Cas,” kiss “ _fuck._ ” Cas slotted their hips together and began rocking. He groaned again, he needed to do something if he didn’t want to just come in his pants like a virgin. He pulled away from the kiss and looked down at Dean. Dean brought his hand up to the side of Cas’ face and ran a thumb over his bottom lip while he stared at it with want. Cas instinctually peeked his tongue out and licked his thumb. _This is happening. This is happening. Oh my god._ He knew what Dean wanted and he didn’t want to chicken out now. He nodded quickly to Dean- or to himself, he’s not sure. 

Cas kissed his lips briefly before leaning down and pressing kisses and licks to Dean’s neck. He kissed his collarbone and sucked the beginning of a bruise on Dean’s chest. Dean let out a deep groan from his chest and went to reach for Cas’ head. Cas sat up quickly and straddled Dean’s hips. Dean looked bewildered as Castiel grabbed Dean’s wrists and held them above his head. “If I’m doing this, _I’m doing this_ ,” he murmured in Dean’s ear. Dean nodded quickly and kissed him chastely- probably to soothe Cas. Castiel reached his face back down to Dean’s chest and licked at his nipple before sucking another faint mark on his sternum. He situated himself between Dean’s legs and kissed down his stomach and met his eyes nervously, but still trying to look confident. “If I let go of your wrists, will you keep them up here?” Dean nodded. “Trust you, right?” He grinned and brought his hands to Dean’s hips over his damp boxers. He ran his hands up and down the planes around his straining cock and stared at it.

“Cas?” Dean piped up brokenly. He rested on his elbows to watch him.

Cas let out a deep breath. “I can do this. Right? It can’t be that hard.” Dean snorted at the wording and Cas rolled his eyes. “You know what I meant.”

“Yeah yeah- uh, just do whatever you know you like getting done to you,” Dean said.

“Well, I’m not sucking my own dick here,” he mumbled. Dean huffed a laugh that was replaced with a hiss when Cas yanked down his boxers. His dick slapped up against his stomach and Cas peeled the boxers the rest of the way down his legs. Cas took a deep breath and closed his eyes briefly. _You can do this. Just do whatever you know you like getting done to you._

He tentatively grabbed the base of Dean’s cock, earning a deep sigh from the man underneath him. “Cas,” he whispered. Castiel was grounded by his voice and regained his confidence. He met Dean’s eyes as he pressed a kiss to the head of his cock. Some precome had gathered and it dampened his lips. He licked it off of his mouth and Dean groaned and leaned his head back. It didn’t taste bad, and seeing the reaction from Dean, he decided to go for it. He wrapped his lips around the head and swirled his tongue around it. Dean took another ragged breath and brought his head back up to look at Cas. Cas took Dean deeper into his mouth and he massaged the underside with his tongue. He slowly began to bob his head and take a little more down with each drop of his head. “Fuck, Cas, you’re-“ he ran one of his hands up his face and over his hair. “God, so fucking perfect.”

Cas hummed a thanks and couldn’t hold back a tiny smirk. Another moan was ripped from Dean when he did it. He pulled his mouth off and stroked him from the top to the base to spread the wetness. He licked his cock back into his mouth and began to suck, moving his hand up and down to meet his mouth. “Cas, I’m- ugh,” he bit his lip. Castiel looked up at him before swallowing him down deeper. He came back up and pressed his tongue to the slit under the head of his dick. Dean’s hips began to buck up slightly. “Cas- Cas, God. I’m close- are you gonna-“ Cas hummed his reply and reached into his boxers and began to stroke himself. He’s been so close for so long, leaking onto the cloth restraining him. He began bobbing his head faster, in time with his own strokes. His tongue resumed its massaging rhythm to the underside of Dean’s cock. They both groaned together and Dean closed his eyes. “Shit, Cas- mm, you’re so good- fuck yeah- like that,” he breathed. Cas made a last-second decision to commit to this, so when he felt Dean’s hips stutter, he closed his mouth tighter around him and hummed around him one last time before Dean came down his throat. “Cas! Oh- _my_ \- God,” he stuttered. Cas swallowed what he could and with two more strokes, he came over his hand. When Dean’s hips stopped gyrating, he licked up his length slowly to clean it all off. Dean watched him with hooded eyes and Cas grinned at him when he finished licking it off of his cock, lifted his own fingers to his mouth to wipe off the rest and sucked on them. Dean groaned. “Jesus _fucking_ Christ, Cas.”

Cas sat up and was back to leaning over Dean lazily. “Was it-?”

Dean sat up on his elbow and mussed up Cas’ messy, wet hair. Cas scrunched his nose and smiled. “That was awesome.”

“Well, no one ever said I don’t always try my best,” Cas joked as he got up. 

“That’s for damn sure,” Dean huffed. 

Castiel grabbed a towel from his dresser when he remembered something he mentioned earlier. “I can, by the way.”

Dean sat up straighter and gave him a questioning look. “Can what?”

“Suck my own dick,” he said simply. Dean didn’t say anything, so Cas looked at him seriously. 

Dean fell onto his back and laughed breathlessly. “Damn, you’re something else, you know that?” He smiled. Yes, Castiel thinks he likes rainy days a whole lot.


	8. October 15-22

“Tell me the significance of the Battle of Midway,” Cas mumbled into his book. The library was packed in preparation for the midterms. Their group was lucky to get a table. They’d been sitting immovable for almost 4 hours. Dean was slouched over his books, head only held up by a supporting arm, and his eyes fluttered shut every minute or so. He was sitting next to Castiel, whose head was lying in the crease of a textbook with his eyes closed. Ash was on Dean’s other side, leaning back and twisting a pencil in his fingers. Opposite them sat Chuck, Charlie and Jo. Chuck was hopped up on caffeine and nerves, flipping through his pages. Charlie had her head resting on Jo’s shoulder, Jo’s arm around her and playing with the red hair lazily. “Dean,” Cas grunted.

Dean’s head bobbed up suddenly. “Yeah.”

“The Battle of Midway- tell me about it.”

Dean sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Uh, it was in... Japan. And it was… the turning point? Right?”

“Yeah, okay someone else go.”

“No no no, keep asking me questions, I’m fine,” Dean rushed. “You guys are all smart; I need this.”

“You’re not stupid, Dean. Well, I mean, you’re stupid, but you’re not _stupid_ stupid,” Jo teased. Charlie sniffed a laugh, and Dean made a face at her.

“Okay, what was the naval strategy the US used to attack Japan?”

Dean looked at his book and flipped through the pages. “Uh…” _Shit._ He couldn’t find anything about it, so he tried to remember. _Naval strategy. Japan? Fuck._ “Pearl Harbor?”

Cas opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by Chuck. “It’s _island hopping_ , you meathead! This is high school review!” he snapped.

Cas’ head shot up and stared at him. “Jesus, Chuck-“

Dean stood up and leaned over the table intimidatingly and pointed a finger at him. “Listen here, you little shit: I need this studying for a reason, and I don’t need your mouth or pathetic attitude to make me feel worse than I already do. I’m much _much_ bigger than you, and I will not hesitate to jump over this table and beat that shitty excuse for a beard off your rodent face, you got that?” he growled darkly. Chuck was visibly shaking and stared up at Dean helplessly. “ _You got that?_ ” Chuck nodded frantically and looked away. Dean still glowered at him until he felt a hand tug on his shirtsleeve, coaxing him to sit back down.

He looked down at the hand and up to Cas’ worried face. Cas raised his eyebrows and darted his eyes around pointedly. Dean looked around him and saw a couple of people staring at him. He gave them a half-smile and waved apologetically. “Sorry.” He sat down and went back to looking at his book.

“You okay, bro?” Charlie asked, sitting up.’

Dean nodded. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just really stressed out right now.”

“I need a break. You do, too, Dean,” Jo suggested. 

Ash clapped his hands together. “Yes. Break. Good.”

“No, guys, please. I’m not ready,” Dean pleaded.

“Dean-“

“I said I’m not ready!” he growled, face turning red.

Charlie looked around him. “Is there a problem? You wanna say something?” she threatened to people behind him. “That’s what I thought.”

“Let’s get some grub, man. We can come back after we recoup,” Ash said calmly. Dean nodded and Ash clapped him on the back.

“Thank _God_. I’m starving,” Jo said as she gathered her stuff together. Chuck scurried off to put their borrowed textbooks and Dean rubbed a hand over his face. Ash, Jo and Charlie started chatting, and he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head a little and Cas leaned into his ear.

“Tonight. I’ve got an idea that will help you with exams- and your stress,” he murmured. Dean’s spine shivered. Cas’s voice was even rougher when he was trying to be quiet.

“If it has anything to do with your mouth, I’m sure it’ll help a lot,” Dean mumbled back with a smirk. Cas backed away and gave him a look they usually reserved for behind closed doors. He bit his lip and put his backpack on.

“If you two are done making oogly eyes at each other, I’d really like to stuff my face now,” Jo teased.

_I know a face I’d like to stuff._ He laughed inwardly. _That was probably the dumbest thing you’ve ever thought._ “Shut up,” he told her as they started walking out.

Charlie turned around as they were leaving. “Peace out, bitches!” she said loudly, sticking her middle fingers up to the other students.

Dean grinned and turned to Cas. “She’s like the little sister I never wanted.”

&&

“Hey, throw me some questions while we eat,” Dean asked as they all sat together. Dean noticed that he usually sat with Gordon, Victor, Adam, and some of his other more popular friends, but he’s been spending equal time with both groups lately for whatever reason.

“ _Dean_ ,” Cas sighed. He sat between Chuck and Dean, who was still giving cold looks to the prior. “We’ve been studying for hours now, on top of the time we spent studying yesterday.” Dean pouted out his lower lip and batted his eyelashes. Cas huffed a laugh and rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Uh, what was the incident that started America’s involvement in the war?”

“Pearl Harbor, right?” He chewed on a bite of meatloaf. Cas nodded.

“We should take wagers,” Jo suggested.

“Wagers on what?” Dean asked.

“On whether or not you’ll pass and higher stakes for a specific grade,” she replied, raising an eyebrow. “I’ll go ahead and bet $10 you get a D on your history exam.”

Dean gave her an offended look. “A D? Please! I could totally get a C.”

“At least. I’m helping him, and so are you guys, so why wouldn’t he get a good grade?” Cas asked.

“I’m putting my $10 with Jo,” Chuck said. Dean made to stand up challengingly and Cas glared at him in warning.

“I believe in you, Dean. $20 bets you get higher than a C,” Charlie said. Jo looked at her with a smirk and a questioning eyebrow raise. “We’re gonna whoop your _ass_ , baby.”

“I’m in. Y’know I can’t resist a good bet. But I’m broke, so I’ll bet you a dimebag in your favor,” Ash offered with a grin.

“Well thank you two anyways,” Dean mumbled sarcastically.

Cas seemed to be mulling an idea over quietly. “$50 says he gets an A,” he said boldly. Everyone turned to him in stunned silence, but his face didn’t waver.

Dean stared at him with his mouth hanging open. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. There’s no reason you can’t get an A. You’ve got two geniuses who are here to back you up,” he pointed to Charlie and Ash who beamed in response. “And you’ve got me practically around the clock. There’s a whole week until your exam. I’m positive we can get an A out of you.”

“ _Somehow I’ll make a man out of you!_ ” Charlie sang loudly. They laughed, not bothered by the extra attention from the surrounding tabled. “Hells yeah, man. You’re going _down_!” Chuck rolled his eyes and Jo stuck her tongue out at Charlie. As the group made light conversation, Dean glanced over to Cas who was only smiling slightly, pushing the food around on his plate. He looked like he was happy, but Dean could tell his mind was miles away.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked quietly, leaning closer to Cas.

Cas snapped out of whatever daze he was in and smiled at Dean. “Yeah, I’m great.”

He studied Cas’ face. “You sure? You look… distant or something.”

Cas’ smile looked a little weak and he opened his mouth to say something. Jo cut him off short. “Hey, loverboys, care to join us for a game out in the quad? Chuck’s ducking out.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Please don’t call us that. And no, I think I’m going to take a nap. My brain is tired.”

Everyone turned to Dean. “Uh, yeah. Just for a little bit. I still have to go to work at 4.” They all stood up and put their trays in the used racked. Charlie and Jo walked with their arms wrapped around each other next to Ash. Dean saw Cas start walking the other way towards the dorms, he hurriedly caught up with him. “You sure you’re okay, Cas?”

“Yes, Dean, I’m fine. I’m just tired,” he replied with a small smile. “I promise. Go have fun.” Finally reassuring himself that Cas would tell him if something was up, he let Cas leave and he caught up with the rest of his friends.

&&

Castiel dragged himself into the room and flopped down onto the bed. He certainly hadn’t necessarily been lying to Dean, just maybe didn’t tell the whole truth. Cas was tired- more tired than he has been in a long time. He wasn’t entirely sure why; he was happy and having fun with Dean and the rest of his friends, his classes were going more smoothly, and he didn’t have to deal with Zachariah at all lately. But midterms are notoriously stressful, especially for someone taking four advanced placement classes. So he could just be exhausted from the overexertion.

 _And because I can’t stop thinking about my family._ The tension between Chuck and Dean was close to the tension between Michael and Luke. He knew it wouldn’t be bad since Chuck was leaving for work, but Cas hadn’t ever been good at recuperating after a fight; he found it easier to escape to solitude and calm down instead of dealing with his anxiety in public.

Cas folded his arms over his face and took a deep breath. He still hadn’t emailed Gabriel back. It’s not like he doesn’t miss his family, but he doesn’t know if he could handle Gabriel being around his life in California. Novak problems should stay in Illinois where they belong. And what if his friends found out why his whole family hates him? Then he wouldn’t have anyone. Everyone he knew would turn against him, and he’d have to drop out. Maybe start selling his body on the streets. Become addicted to heroin. Die alone in a cardboard box at the age of 24. Burn in the fiery pits of damnation for all of eternity.

_But Gabriel is the only one who hasn’t totally rejected me. And he seems to really want to make up. He doesn’t deserve to be ignored just because I’m afraid of what my friends might think._

Castiel sat up and brought his laptop over to his bed. He reopened the email and read it twice more before deciding what he wanted to say. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he began typing.

“ _Gabriel,_

_I’m glad to hear from you; it has been a long time. College is going very well, thank you._

_And I can’t say I blame Michael for not wanting a repeat of last year. Inviting the family to get together is like summoning a tornado of belligerence and intolerance into your home. As I’m sure you can guess, I haven’t talked to anyone since last Thanksgiving. And, to be honest, I can’t say I’m terribly disappointed about not seeing them._

_I think I would be okay with you visiting for Thanksgiving, if you really want to come. I think Dean is going to be at his family’s home for the break (like most students) so if you need a place to sleep, his bed will be available._

_It was nice to hear from you, and I hope you’re doing well._

_-Castiel_

_PS: No, I haven’t heard from her either. Unfortunately, I doubt the status of her absence is going to change in the foreseeable future._ ”

Cas sat back and reread his email, still debating on whether or not to send it. His finger rested on the send button hesitantly. When the door opened suddenly, his finger pressed down. The email sent and he stared at the screen in shock.

“Hey, what’s up?” Dean asked after he walked in. Cas’ mouth hung open, his eyes wide. _Gabriel is coming here._ “Cas?”

Castiel shook his head. _I guess this is for the best. I would have deleted it if I didn’t really want to send it._ He looked up at Dean. “Nothing. I accidentally lost a file, but I found it.” Dean accepted the answer with a nod. “So, how was your game?”

“Dude, it was so much fun, you should’ve been there. It was me and Charlie against Ash and Jo, so naturally, we kicked some serious ass,” Dean bloated cheerily. Cas chuckled. “I actually think Ash might’ve gotten hurt when Charlie tackled him at full speed.”

“You were playing tackle football in the courtyard?”

“Nah, we were playing Frisbee, but Charlie’s pretty competitive.”

Cas laughed out loud. “Well, if there’s anyone who could’ve been your long-lost sister, it’s definitely her.” Dean nodded in agreement. 

“So… this _idea_ you had- you wanna do it before or after I go to work?” he asked with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Cas rolled his eyes and opened a file to an assignment he needed to finish. “As irresistible as that proposition is, I’d rather do it after you get off work. One, you smell like ass-“ Dean scoffed in mock offense. “-And two, what I want to do might take a little bit more than an hour.” 

Dean quirked an eyebrow. “That so?” Cas nodded, typing on his computer nonchalantly. “What is it?”

“Now, Dean, you know I can’t tell you, or else you might skip work just to study.”

“Will me studying help me in this little _thing_ of yours?” Dean asked.

Cas looked up into Dean’s half-curious-half-aroused face and smirked. “I think so. But I’m not telling you anything else.” Dean opened his mouth to object, so he turned his attention back to his laptop. “Go shower. I wasn’t kidding when I said you smelled like ass.”

Dean huffed indignantly. “ _You smell like ass_ ,” he mumbled as he walked into the bathroom. Cas shook his head and smiled.

&&

“I need you boys to work on that car over there for me today,” Rufus directed, pointing at an old, rusty 1984 Chevy Celebrity that had faded blue paint in only a few select places, no tires or rims and no working engine. Dean nodded and looked over at Gordon, who didn’t look very thrilled.

“Why do we need to work on that piece of shit? I highly doubt anybody just decided to drop it off for repairs,” Gordon asked with his arms crossed. Dean looked at him incredulously. 

“You’re gonna work on it ‘cause I said to work on it.”

Gordon rolled his eyes. “Whatever, old man,” he mumbled.

Rufus raised his eyebrows and stared at him. “Boy, I hired you because you’re Dean’s friend and he said you really needed a job, but I swear: I will not hesitate to send your whiny ass packin’ if you disrespect me one more time. You got that?” Gordon pursed his lips and nodded. “Good. Now get to work.”

Dean picked up the large toolbox and hauled it over next to the car. “Dude, what’s your problem? I went out of my way to help you out here. I don’t need your attitude getting me on his bad side, too.”

Gordon pushed the jack under the car and pumped it higher. “I’m sorry, man, but I just don’t see the point in doing work that doesn’t need to be done.”

Dean crawled under where the car was lifted and put the jack stands in place. “It’s called a job.”

“I’m not an idiot; I know how jobs work. I’m having some problems and I don’t really want to deal with work today.”

“What kind of problems?” Dean waited for Gordon to release the car jack and pull it away.

“Ruby.” Dean looked at him questioningly. Gordon rolled his eyes. “You know, blonde hair, sassy mouth, likes to emasculate men and preach about social justice?”

“I know who Ruby is. What’s your beef with her?” Dean rolled a tire over to the back wheels and began to put it on. _With no help from this asshole._

“I don’t- no, we’ve been- y’know- like, just fucking around and shit, and… Man, I don’t know.” Dean held out his hand for the bolt drill and Gordon passed it to him.

“You’re dating _Ruby_?” 

“No. We’re just messing around. No strings attached kinda deal.” 

“Mhm.” _Sounds familiar. Except I’m actually fucking someone that isn’t awful to be around._

“Shit, you wouldn’t know what I’m talking about. Couldn’t even pull a hit-it-and-quit-it with Lisa. You must be one of those… _sensitive_ guys,” he teased. 

“What’s wrong with not being a complete asshat and not wanting to straight-up hurt a nice girl’s feelings? I don’t think that makes me sensitive as it just makes me a regular human being.”

Gordon leaned against the car- _which you are NOT supposed to do with jack stands holding it up. Seriously, is this guy kidding me?_ \- as Dean began putting a tire on the other bald wheel. “Maybe it’s just women you can’t seem to hook up with.”

Dean snapped at him. “Dude, are you kidding me? I’ve slept with twice as many women as you have- and I’ve probably had more women come back for more just because I’m that good- not to mention I’m not as big of an asshole to them you are.” Gordon smirked, pleased with himself. “Seriously, I don’t get it. It’s like every day you have some new gay joke for me, and I don’t know why. Unless you’re trying to get in my pants, in which case, I don’t swing that way.”

“There’s always an exception,” Gordon mumbled, loudly enough for Dean to hear.

“You’re not my type,” Dean said smugly.

Gordon laughed quietly. “Never said it was me.”

“You’re really about ten seconds away from getting this wrench smashed into your ugly-ass face,” Dean growled. Gordon put his hands up in mock surrender. “Now, back to your problem with Ruby. If y’all are just messin’ around, what’s the big deal? Seems like a pretty nice situation.”

“It’s just weird. She’s my _friend_ , and that’s really not a good decision.” _It’s a great fucking decision, you must be doing something wrong._ “Like, what if she starts fucking other guys too? Will I get mad? Will she get mad if I fuck other girls? What if she starts to have feelings for me?”

“I don’t think I’d worry about that happening,” Dean mumbled. Gordon kicked him in the side. 

“Come on, man, seriously.”

“Alright, well, did you set out rules before doing this?” Dean asked. Gordon shook his head and started to speak. “Hear me out first before you keep yapping your jaws. If you want to keep hooking up, make some rules. That’s what me and C- _Lisa_ did. No getting feelings, decide whether or not y’all can hook up with other people, and- shit, I don’t know, just make sure you both know what you want. Ruby’s a pretty independent chick who can make her own decisions, and I don’t think you need to worry about her being clingy or needing you to commit.”

“I guess you’re right. I just have this weird feeling that if something happens, we won’t be friends afterwards.” _Won’t be friends afterwards… That’s not going to happen. We made rules specifically for that reason._ “Whatever, man. At least that pussy’s worth it- you know what I’m sayin’?”

Dean punched him in the shoulder. “You’re a fuckin’ pig, Walker, you know that?” Gordon shrugged with a smile. After that, Gordon carried on pointless light conversation to which Dean didn’t pay much attention. His mind was more pre-occupied with questions he didn’t know the answers to.

&&

Castiel was studying for his own midterms when Dean came back from work. Cas had always been relatively good at tests if he wasn’t distracted, so he wasn’t too worried about studying hard. He knew Dean needed the time more than he did, so Cas had no qualms about spending so much time helping him study.

Dean sighed and flopped down on Cas’ bed beside his legs. Cas kept looking at his notes, pretending to ignore him. Dean watched Cas and sighed louder. Castiel fought back a smile well and kept his focus away from Dean. Dean started wiggling and made a frustrated noise. “ _Cas_ ,” he whined.

“Tantrums do not become of you, Dean,” Cas said. Dean chuckled and reached up to touch Castiel’s large glasses. Cas laughed and shook his head. “What are you even doing?”

“Just like those glasses, is all,” he mumbled. Cas rolled his eyes. “I do!”

“Here, put them on,” Cas said as he took his glasses off. His eyes adjusted and he blinked a few times to get comfortable. Dean laughed at what Cas was sure was a ridiculous face. 

Dean took the glasses and situated them on the bridge of his nose. His eyes widened and he grinned dumbly. “Holy shit, you have some bad eye sight.” Cas hit him and told him to shut up. 

The black frames suited him well, Cas noted. They made his features look a little bit sharper, highlighted his bright eyes. “They look good on you.”

Dean raised his eyebrows with a small smile. “Yeah?” Cas nodded. “They look better on you.” He took them off and handed them back to Castiel. Cas began to fold them up and put them away, but Dean stopped him. “You should keep them on.”

Cas quirked an eyebrow at him. “I should? What, do you have some weird glasses fetish or something?” Dean rolled his eyes, and Cas moved his books to the floor. He saw the anticipating grin spread on Dean’s face and he sat up on his elbows. “I guess they do sort of go with my plan,” he said lower as he moved closer to Dean.

“Yeah?” Dean replied breathily. Cas nodded as he moved his hands over to Dean’s thighs. He heard Dean’s breath hitch, and he quickly pulled the legs over so Dean was laying fully on Cas’ bed with his head at the foot of the bed. Dean let his already-bowed legs fall open so Cas could situate himself between them.

Cas made to press a kiss to Dean’s lips, but he stopped short and watched Dean let out a slightly frustrated sigh. He smirked and leaned into Dean’s ear. “ _The rules_ are: for every question you get right, you get one step closer to a... good grade-“ he punctuated his words with a roll of his hips against Dean’s, who let out a huffed laugh, “-but every question you get wrong, you go back a step. So,” he peeked his tongue out to lightly trace the outer shell of Dean’s ear, earning a breathy sigh from him, “shall we get started?”

Dean nodded, and Cas smirked against his ear. “Alright, we’ll start off easy and get progressively _harder_.” Dean chuckled at the innuendo and Cas rolled his eyes with a smile. “When the war first started in Europe, what two countries were already at war?”

“Uh… They were in Asia, right?” Cas nodded into the crook of Dean’s neck. “Japan and China?” 

“Correct.” Castiel began to kiss and suck gently on Dean’s neck. Dean sighed and leaned his head back further to offer more skin. “What was the official start of World War II and when was it?” he asked between pecks.

“I know this,” Dean said. Castiel licked at the sensitive skin around his Adams apple and sucked on it gently. Dean shuddered. “ _Shit,_ uh. When Germany invaded Poland on September…” Cas kissed and nipped at the sensitive spot on Dean’s collarbone. “ _Fuck_. September 1, 1939.”

“Very good.” Cas moved his hands from where they weren’t touching Dean and reached down to pull up his shirt. Cas moved further down- groins _unfortunately_ not touching anymore- and began kissing up and down Dean’s chest and tummy. Dean’s hips surged forward seeking friction, and Cas wanted nothing more than to let him have it, but this wasn’t just about release, so he ignored it. “When France fell after a German attack, what country did it begin to focus on, and what major battle had a decisive victory because of it?” He felt Dean’s stomach muscles clench under his lips when he was about to speak, but he cut him off. “Extra points if you can also tell me why this victory was important.” Cas started sucking a bruise into a spot close to Dean’s nipple, using his tongue to massage it occasionally.

Dean groaned. “Okay, ugh _God_ \- It was, uh, Britain after France. And it was called the… Battle of Britain. And okay-“ Cas moved his hands to the tops of Dean’s thighs and lightly began to move them up and down as he swept his tongue across Dean’s nipple before bringing it into his mouth. “ _JesusfuckingChristugh_ , it was important because Britain winning showed that Germany was…” Cas nipped on it gently, and Dean’s voice hitched, “- _Germany’seconomywasn’tpreparedforthewarithadtofight._ ” 

Cas chuckled into Dean’s skin. “How about we amp up the questions?” He peered up at Dean over the thick rim of his glasses and watched him nod quickly. “Which country suffered the most _military_ deaths?”

“You and your fucking trick questions,” Dean mumbled under his breath. Cas chuckled as he kissed the soft skin on Dean’s stomach, and moved his hands further up Dean’s thigh with more pressure. “ _Fuck_ , uh. I know it’s not Germany because that’s… I got that wrong on a quiz before,” he babbled to himself. Cas hummed in agreement, gently biting a patch of skin on his ribcage to hurry him up. “ _Bitch_ , okay okay- yeah, Russia- or the USSR or wha-whatever, right?”

Castiel moved back up and pressed their mouths together for the first time, their groins slotting back together. Dean groaned, and Cas deepened the kiss. They began rocking their hips together, getting lost in the sensation. Cas wanted to melt into it, give up this whole idea and just rut against each other until they both come. _Not yet._ Cas pulled his mouth away and opened his eyes slightly. His glasses had gotten fogged up. He and Dean both let out breathy laughs. “That was right.” 

Castiel moved his hands to the front of Dean’s jeans and unbuttoned them as he returned to his thorough kisses on Dean’s stomach. “So, Dean, which location for Allied invasion was met with German resistance on D-Day?”

Cas’ hands were still lingering over the open button, pressing into his groin teasingly. “Shit,” Dean breathed. He ran a hand over his face. “There was Juno, and Gold, and Utah… and Sword, and… Omaha,” he listed under his breath. Cas licked up Dean’s hipbones and pressed kisses on his way back down closer to his groin. “ _Fuckfuck_ \- Omaha.”

Castiel grinned and unzipped Dean’s jeans, quickly yanking them down to his knees. The guttural, undiluted groan that came from Dean’s throat would probably fuel his wet dreams for the rest of his life. Cas smirked and started kissing up Dean’s thighs from his knees to where his legs met his hips, occasionally stopping to suck a mark into the skin. Dean’s stomach was quivering with his effort to remain focused, and Cas was painfully hard against the confines of his own jeans- _but_ , he noted as he looked at Dean’s clothed cock, _he’s probably worse off than I am._ Watching Dean carefully, he pressed his tongue to the cloth covering the head of Dean’s dick, just enough pressure to make Dean squirm and curse under his breath. He briefly licked the spot a few times before pulling back slightly and breathing on the moist spot. “Holy shit, Cas- _please_ ,” Dean begged breathlessly.

Cas was practically rutting his own restrained erection against the bed, so he figured he should make the questions easier- _for Dean, of course._ “What country did Germany attack on June 22, 1941?”

Cas mouthed over the hard outline of Dean’s cock to urge him on. Dean was gritting his teeth, sweating and noticeably shaking, trying to hold himself together. Castiel rubbed his hands up and down his thighs to calm him down. Dean let out a deep sigh. “Uh… Fra-“

Cas mouthed harder at his cock and groaned. “ _Please think, Dean,_ ” he panted into the cloth quietly. If he would realize he wasn’t the only one being tortured right now, maybe Dean would try harder to remember the answers.

“ _Fuck,_ are you that turned on just by working towards getting me off? Jesus Christ, Cas, that’s fucking-“ Dean babbled senselessly, hips rocking forward subtly.

“ _Dean_ ,” Cas warned.

“Okay, um, Russia?” Cas let out a relieved sigh and yanked Dean’s boxers down, his friend’s cock springing up and slapping his stomach. Dean hissed at the air and clawed his hands into the bedsheets when Cas pressed the first small kiss to his shaft. “Please, no more questions,” Dean begged in a whisper.

“One more,” he mumbled against the sensitive skin, “and if you get it right, I’ll give you an A.” Dean looked down at him and Cas winked. Dean huffed a laugh and rolled his eyes, letting his head fall back onto the bed. Cas pressed more kisses around the base of his member, making the pecks softer as he went higher up. “What were the two important surrenders called at the end of the war, and the dates for each?”

“That’s two questions,” Dean mumbled. Cas grinned and licked partway up Dean’s cock teasingly. Dean shuddered. “VJ Day, which was… _shit, Cas-_ it was September… 2nd… 1945,” he spoke hesitantly. Cas kissed the head of his cock, pressing his tongue into the slit. Dean whimpered- _actually whimpered, which he is never going to live down_ \- and arched his back. “Fuckfuckfuck okay- VE Day… was May 8, right?” He peered down at Cas hopefully. Cas nodded into his skin. “ _Fucking yes_ , let’s do this, come on.”

“Which one marked the official end to the war?” 

Dean’s head shot back up questioningly. “You said I only had one more question.” Cas shrugged. “Son of a- VJ Day because it was later. Now, _please suck my cock, Cas._ ”

Castiel immediately wrapped his lips around the aching erection and sucked. He brought his hands from Dean’s thighs, placing one so it was flat against his hips except for a thumb that massaged gently lower than the base of his shaft, and wrapping the other around it. “Hhhhhuu- _sweet Jesus fucking oh my god_.” Cas’ favorite part of this was the nonsense Dean uttered when he was so lost in his arousal. He liked being able to turn him into a puddle of illogical curse words and blasphemy just by touching him certain ways. He pulled his mouth of for a quick moment to run his hand up and down the length to smear the wetness. 

Castiel immediately latched back on and began pumping his head and trying to take Dean in deeper, running his hand up to meet his mouth where he couldn’t reach, and increasing the pressure on his thumb. “ _Caaaa-_ huhgodjesusshit! Fuck, _Cas, please._ God, so fucking good.” Cas swallowed insistently and moaned around his length. 

_Come on, Dean,_ he urged silently. Cas opened his eyes and peered up at Dean through the fog of his glasses. Dean had his eyes squeezed shut, his mouth hanging open. His back was arched almost painfully- it seemed like he would’ve levitated right off the bed if he didn’t have that merciless death grip on the sheets- and his heaving breaths moved his whole torso. Castiel moved his flat hand to where his thumb was massaging right above his balls and used his whole hand to massage more urgently. He worked his tongue against the underside of his cock, bouncing his head hard and fast, twisting in different directions. Dean’s trembling thighs began to lift slowly and the arch of his back became even higher. Cas opened his eyes again to watch Dean as he inched his way closer to the edge. His mouth was stretched open wide, as if screaming as loud as he could- but no sound was coming out, not even breathing. _Come on, Dean._

“Ah-!” The first part of Dean’s scream squeezed out of his throat, and Cas felt the first spurt of his come shoot down his throat. Quickly, he pulled off and stroked him as fast as he could. Dean’s held breath came out as a series of deep groans, and his eyes opened slightly to watch his come cover Castiel’s face and neck. “ _Fuck, Cas, holy shit- ahh,_ ” he moaned. His hips bucked forward into Cas’ fist a few more times before his whole body fell back on the bed bonelessly. Castiel smirked and slowly removed his hand from Dean’s spent cock. He could feel the come on his skin, see it on his glasses- _which might actually be hard to get off_ \- but he was trying new things, so he left it. 

Cas pulled Dean’s boxers and jeans back up as much as he could under the unmoving weight. He crawled up Dean’s sweat-covered, heaving body and straddled his hips. Dean opened one eye to look up at him and he smiled lazily, letting out a breathy laugh. “You’re a fucking mess, Cas.” Castiel grinned widely and bit his lip, rocking his still-hard, still-clothed erection onto Dean’s sensitive groin. Dean laughed and somehow mustered up the energy to flip them both suddenly so Cas was on his back, legs spread and arms pinned by Dean’s grip on his wrists. “You’re a tease, you know that?” Cas smiled silently and watched Dean’s half-fond-half-predatory face study the dirty glasses and come-painted cheeks. Dean leaned down to kiss him, almost chastely, before moving his kisses over his cheeks, cleaning him with pecks and licks. Cas squeezed his eyes shut and squirmed under Dean to try and get some friction, but Dean didn’t let up. He pressed his mouth to Cas’ ear and growled, “Teases don’t get off that easy, Cas.” Castiel shuddered and Dean kissed in the crook of his neck. 

Suddenly, Dean leaned over the side of the bed- which from their position, placed his whole weight on top of Castiel’s torso and face. “Hey-!” Cas’ objection was muffled by Dean’s stomach. He tried to hit him in the ribs, but his arms were also trapped.

“I hope you’ve been studying for your advanced quantum physics exam,” Dean said with a smirk as he returned to his previous spot with a huge textbook. Cas opened his mouth to object, but gave up. Dean smiled triumphantly, and opened the book. “Ah, yes, here we go- _The Copenhagen Interpretation._ ” Cas sighed. _This is going to be a long night._

&&

A week later, Castiel is chatting with a very pretty girl named Tessa- _who looks very familiar, for some reason_ \- outside of the science building when his phone goes off. “One second,” he says as he pulls out his phone. She nods with a smile and stands patiently.

 _New Picture Message: Dean:_ attached is a picture of Dean’s World War II midterm with a red 94 on top circled. Cas grinned widely as he began to type out a reply.

“Good news?” Tessa asked.

“Oh yeah, my roommate just aced one of his midterms and earned us, like, $90,” he replied.

“Wow, that’s awesome! How-“ Castiel’s phone buzzed again before he finished his message. He gave her an apologetic look, and she nodded. 

_New Message: Dean: “I’m getting our money now. Get to the room in 20 so we can roll around naked in our riches, hah. But seriously, dude, this is all because of your help. Thanks.”_ Castiel huffed a laugh. His phone buzzed again. _New Message: Dean: “God, I’m gonna suck your dick so fucking good, you won’t even be able to remember your own fucking name for a month.”_ Cas’ eyes widened.

“More good news?”

Cas blushed and closed out of the message, stuffing his phone in his pocket. He smiled at her. “You could say that.”

“So, like I was saying, would you like to go get a coffee or something?” she asked.

He chewed on the inside of his lip. _Oh shit. We never talked about the possibility of this happening._ “Uh, yeah. I actually have to get going, but here’s my number,” he pulled out a pen from his back pocket and she extended her palm, on which he scribbled the digits. “Raincheck?” He started walking backward slowly, watching her.

She looked at her palm and grinned happily. “Yeah, definitely.” He smiled in response and waved, turning around and walking as fast and unsuspicious as he could- because really, the only thing he could think about was Dean’s promising message. _Tutoring in exchange for blowjobs. God, I love college._


	9. October 31

Halloween is one of Dean’s favorite holidays. _Because seriously, what is there not to love? Candy, slutty costumes, insane parties, dressing up- it’s perfect._ Unfortunately, though, it fell on a Wednesday this year. Nobody likes celebrating holidays during the school week. You can’t party as hard as you want because there’s class in the morning; some people won’t even show up because they don’t want to risk not getting enough sleep. _Goody-good nerds like Cas don’t want to miss class._ Dean laughed inwardly. He had finally convinced his friend to come to the big party tonight, and he was positive it would be worth all the begging.

“What costume are y’all gonna wear?” he asked. Dean and his friends were outside enjoying the sunny break between classes. Charlie was sitting against the giant oak tree, Jo between her legs and with her back resting on Charlie’s chest. Dean was laying between Jo’s legs with his head in her lap and his hands in a giant bag of candy resting on his belly. Jo ran her fingers over his scalp lazily, and Dean honestly wanted nothing more than for this moment of warmth and comfort and peace to never end. Cas, on the other hand, was sitting cross-legged beside Charlie against the tree, diligently taking notes from his textbook. He was determined to not risk falling behind in the classes he’d be missing the next day.

“Is it really necessary to dress up? We’re not ten anymore,” Cas replied, not looking up from his book.

“Aw, come on, Cas. Dressing up is the best part. Don’t be such a party-pooper,” Charlie said with an elbow nudge to Cas’ arm.

“I just don’t see how wearing a nonsensically slutty costume somehow magically enhances my having a good time.”

“I don’t know, man. Slutty costumes always enhance my having a good time,” Dean quipped with a grin. Jo stopped her petting and popped him on the side of the head. “Hey-!”

Jo rolled her eyes and resumed her stroking. “Cas, you don’t have to wear a lame costume like the ones people wear all the time. It’s just easier to buy those at the dollar store. Just have fun with it. Charlie and I aren’t wearing slutty costumes.”

“That’s unfortunate,” Dean mumbled with a mouthful of candy. _Pop._ “Sonofa-!”

“What are you wearing, then?” Cas asked, ignoring Dean.

“Okay, well you know that LARPing group I’m a part of?” Cas tilted his head in confusion at Charlie.

“She’s the queen of Moondor, dude. And a pretty solid jouster,” Dean informed him. Cas gave him an amused questioning look. “Okay, so I’ve been once or twice.” He raised his eyebrow some more. “Maybe I joined.” A skeptical head tilt. “And I go to every gathering, so what? Shut up.” Cas laughed and turned back to Charlie.

“Anyways, I’m wearing my knight getup, and Jo is wearing my queen dress and crown. Because she is my queen- aren’t you, sweetie?” Charlie added with her tight-lipped cutesy voice as she kissed Jo’s temple forcefully.

“Get a room,” Dean said with mock disgust as he threw a candy wrapper behind him and hit Charlie in the chin.

“You’re just jealous because you wanted to be the princess,” Jo teased, digging her fingers into the back of his ribs. Dean yelped and squirmed at the tickling. The girls laughed and Cas watched them with amusement.

“Bitch, I am always the motherfucking princess; I don’t need a crown,” he joked with a pretend flip of his hair. “And, besides, I already have the best costume ever.”

“What’s that?” Cas interjected. He’d completely discarded his notes and was fully a part of the conversation.

Dean looked over his shoulder at him and grinned. “And spoil the surprise? I don’t think so.”

“Then maybe I won’t tell you that I’ve already got a costume.”

Dean made an objective noise. “What is it?”

Cas made a mocking face. “And spoil the surprise? I don’t think so.” Jo snorted a laugh and Dean rolled his eyes.

“Fine, be that way. My costume could kick your costume’s ass anyways.”

“I guess we’ll see tonight, then, won’t we?”

The girls might not be able to exactly read Cas’ challenging expression, but Dean knew it all too well and he returned the look. _Such a fucking tease._ When Cas raised an eyebrow, Dean knew he’d understood his thought perfectly. _Just you wait._ “May the best man win, eh, Cas?”

“Alright, come on, loverboys,” Jo urged with two quick pats to Dean’s chest as she sat up straighter. “Gotta get back to class.” Dean sent a quick wink for Cas’ eyes only and sat up. Cas rolled his eyes with a smile as he stood up and collected his books.

“We shall bid you adieu until the evening, m’lords,” Charlie offered with a small bow.

“A pleasure as always, m’lady,” Dean replied with an exaggerated bow and extended arm. He heard Cas and Jo both mutter something about _such fucking dorks_ and he laughed. Now he was even more excited for tonight so he could see Cas’ secret costume- _and then get him out of it._

&&

“So you’re coming tonight? For real?” Castiel questioned incredulously. He and Chuck were the only ones working since Wednesdays were always slow. In all honesty, Cas was just ready for it to be 8 o’clock so he could start getting ready for the party.

“I am. Becky hasn’t been to a real college party yet, and I wanted to show her a good time.” Chuck leaned in closer to Cas- _Why? We are alone in this whole coffee shop, why must you be this close to me?_ \- and raised his eyebrows. “This will be our third date.”

Cas nodded sarcastically. “Congratulations.”

Chuck’s face dropped to an earnest expression. “No- wait- do- you do know what that means, right-?” Cas furrowed his brow at him. “We’re gonna… _you know._ ” He made a strange expression to try and emphasize his point.

“Ew, stop. I knew what you meant; I don’t need you to explain it.” _She must be even more insane than he is._ “So, she really hasn’t gone to a college party? Even you’ve gone to some, and you’re… _you._ ” 

Chuck laughed sarcastically and rolled his eyes. “ _Oh yes I’m a loser hardy har har._ Very funny, Castiel. And yes, she’s an _intellectual,_ and she prefers to keep to her solitude and read. She doesn’t indulge in the debauchery that is frat parties.”

“So… you decided to take her to one?” Cas asked skeptically.

“Well- I just- I mean, she doesn’t _party_ , and she mentioned how she would like to try it-“

“So, you’re saying she was gushing about how much she wanted to go to a real party, and you think you might be able to get her drunk enough to have sex with you?”

Chuck opened his mouth to reply defensively, but he stumbled over his words. “That- That is just- That’s not- Well- Like she- Becky- yeah, she- That-“

Cas nodded understandingly and winked at him. “Well, I wish you the best of luck in your… _ambitious_ endeavor.” 

Chuck blushed sheepishly and changed the subject. “So, the holidays are coming up,” _Shit._ Cas gulped nervously. “What are you doing?” He paused, considering something. Castiel didn’t make any move to answer his question. “Now that I think about it, I don’t know anything about your family… or about you before college.”

 _Because I never told you anything. Did you ever think maybe it’s none of your business?_ Cas fidgeted and tried to come up with something. “Really? I’m pretty sure you know _something._ ”

Chuck pondered it for a second. “No, I really don’t. Where are you from?”

“Washington,” Castiel lied.

“Oh, really, what part?”

 _Don’t you have better things to do than interrogate me?_ “Spokane.”

“What about family? Do you have any brothers and sisters?”

Cas shuffled on his feet. “Just me and my grandma,” he lied again.

Chuck studied him harder, and Cas tried to busy himself with cleaning the counters. “Wow. Never would’ve pinned you as a grandma’s boy.” Cas snorted and rolled his eyes. “But I can tell you’re an only child. We’re all alike.”

Cas chewed on the inside of his cheek. _He can tell I’m an only child when I’ve actually got 4 siblings. I might as well have been an only child._ “Yeah?”

“Yeah. You know, we didn’t have anyone our age around the clock, so we grew up to be more independent and self-reliant. We don’t feel the need to talk to people our age because we made it this far on our own. Hard to trust people and open up to them- I got you, man.” Cas nodded silently. _That was scarily accurate. Maybe Chuck is wiser than he seems._ “So you’re going back up to Washington to spend Thanksgiving with your grandma?”

“Uh, no. Actually, uh- she… She passed away last year.”

Chuck made that over-sympathetic look and put a hand on his shoulder. Cas furrowed his brow and looked at the hand and back up to him. “You poor, poor man.”

“Uh… Yeah, it’s-“

Before he could finish his thought, Chuck pulled him into a tight hug with Cas’ arms trapped at his sides. Chuck was short enough that his head was resting against Cas’ chest and nuzzling in while he rubbed a hand on his back. “Shhh, don’t speak. I am so sorry for your loss.”

“It’s- uh, thanks, Chuck.”

“You’ll get through this; I know you will. You’re a strong person,” he said, still constricting him.

“Yeah- thanks. Um…” Cas wiggled to try and emphasize that he wanted to be freed. Chuck got the message and unwrapped his arms with an apologetic gesture. _What a strange human being._ Castiel checked his watch to find it was five minutes until 8. _Thank God._ “Alright, I’m out. See you at the party tonight.” After Chuck said good-bye, Castiel practically raced out of the coffee shop and back to the dorms to change. Even if his costume wasn’t the most creative, he knew Dean would appreciate it.

&&

The plan for tonight was to hang out with Victor and the boys for some pre-party drinks and get ready at their dorm. This party was going to be huge, and everyone was going. Everyone that counted, anyways. Victor was already in his _elaborate_ costume- a plain black t-shirt, jeans with two holes in the knees, some black converses, a shoulder-length brown wig and a trucker hat that says “Wayne’s World” on the front- and chugging a beer. Dean was putting off getting into his outfit because he was pre-occupied with his third beer and a giant bowl of fun-sized chocolate bars. _A man has to have priorities, right?_

“Hey, fatso, do you think you’re gonna get out of the candy any time soon, or are you just going to let yourself explode?” Adam teased from across the table. Victor laughed a little too loudly and Gordon chuckled from his place next to Dean.

“Shut up,” Dean retorted and threw a piece of candy at Adam’s face. _Not the good kind. I’m not gonna just waste perfectly good candy._ “It’s Halloween, I can eat as much candy as I want.”

“Says you.” Ruby was sitting on Gordon’s lap and leaned over to poke Dean’s stomach. “The pudge says differently.”

Dean slapped her hand away and made a face. “Okay, Miss I-eat-two-carbs-and-gain-twelve-pounds-that-go-straight-to-my-ass.”

Ruby glared at him, and Gordon ran his hand up and down her back. “I wouldn’t necessarily count that as a bad thing, there, Deano.” Ruby smiled in victory and planted a kiss on Gordon’s lips. They’d already started drinking as well, so the kiss became a little too sloppy a little too soon. Dean was about to express his distaste when his phone rang.

“Sammy! What’s my favorite brother doing on this fine Hallow’s Eve?” Dean greeted as he got up and grabbed the bag his costume was in. Being on the phone and needing privacy was a good excuse to go ahead and change in the bathroom.

“I’m staying home and reading a book I just got. You know how I feel about Halloween,” Sam replied with a sigh.

“Yeah yeah yeah, _it’s just an excuse for girls to be sluts with no repercussions, for full-grown men to act like children without being judged, and for kids to go into sugar comas; and it might as well have been invented by dentists to make more money_ , I know. You should really lighten up and have some fun one of these days. You’ll never get laid by slutty nurses sitting around, reading.” Dean shucked off his shoes and jeans before setting the phone down just long enough to take his shirt off.

“Who says I want the slutty nurse? Besides, some girls like a guy who’s well-read. That’s why only one type of girl ever agrees to go out with you,” Sam quipped. Dean let out a fake laugh and rolled his eyes. _Oh, Sam, you slay me._ “And I don’t want a girl who will just go home with any guy they meet. If I take home the slutty nurse, I want it to be because she’s sweet and funny and because she likes me, not because we just want to get laid.”

“Aw, Sammy. That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little,” Dean teased. Sam huffed out a shut up. “I’m sure you’ll find your sweet, funny, slutty nurse one day.” Dean slipped on his navy blue jeans and had to suck in his stomach to button the pants comfortably. He frowned at the slight swell of skin over the top of the jeans and poked at it. “I think I ate too much candy.”

“Watch out for the razor blades,” Sam joked. “What are you dressing up as this year, anyways?”

Dean told him to hold on and set the phone down so he could put on the white ¾-sleeve v-neck shirt. “What makes you think I’m dressing up?”

“Come on, Dean. You’ve dressed up every year since you were two, except that rebellious year you had when you were 13. Sub-Zero? Gandalf? The Red Ranger? _Wonderwoman?_ ”

“That was a long time ago, man! I can’t wait until the day you stop holding that over my head.” Sam laughed at his dismay as Dean put on his black vest. “And I’m not going as any of those. I’m going with the lady-killer this year.”

Dean sat down and tugged on his black boots. “Ted Bundy?”

“Oh ho ho ho, Sammy’s got his sass-meter on high tonight, I see! But I can’t believe you still haven’t guessed. Dude’s a hero,” he paused to think for a moment while he snapped his utility belt around his hips. “Okay, I got it. In this world, you’d still be the whiny bitch who gets all the credit. And I get to be the real badass who gets the girl.”

Sam faked a laugh. “ _Oh you’re so clever, I’m a bitch ha-ha._ But… I’m guessing Han Solo?”

“Bingo! Knew you’d catch on, Skywalker.” Dean put his fake blaster in its hilt and looked in the mirror to make sure he looked in-place.

“Okay, so I see how Han is a badass that gets the girl- _not to mention Leia is Luke’s sister and that’s why_ \- but Luke is the real hero, obviously,” Sam defended.

“Whoa whoa whoa, there, kid. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. One, Leia kissed Luke to prove a point. Two, Luke whined and complained enough while he was learning how to master the Force so his heroism doesn’t even fucking count anymore. His man-points were revoked. Done and done,” he argued as he tucked in his shirt.

“Leia could’ve been into Luke! But when she found out they were siblings, she finally allowed herself to succumb to the dirty criminal because her only other option was an 8 foot Wookie. She is a proud woman, why would she really be interested in a misogynist like Han?”

“Wow, no! I can’t- I don’t even know what to say. You’re totally pulling this out of left-field. It’s like I don’t even know you anymore. _And_ \- just for your information- Chewbacca is, like, 7 foot 3, not 8 feet.”

Sam laughed into the phone. “You’re such a nerd, Dean. It’s a wonder anyone ever talks to you.”

“Yeah, I know. But you love me for it. Anyways, I need to go head out to the party. Give mom a kiss for me, and tell them I’ll see y’all in a few weeks.” Dean hung up and walked out of the bathroom.

“’Going somewhere, Solo?’” Victor called out teasingly. While Dean was gone, Adam had changed into his costume: ripped jeans, a worn-out Aerosmith t-shirt _-which looks oddly similar to the one I lost a few weeks ago-_ , a big blonde wig, and black thick-rimmed glasses. 

“Hey- don’t dis my costume when you and your boyfriend have matching outfits,” he quipped in return.

“You think you’re funny?” Victor said with an eye roll as he walked over to Adam.

“I think I’m adorable,” Dean replied with a grin. 

“Don’t worry, baby. He’s just jealous of our-“ Adam pulled Victor into him by the hips exaggeratedly. “-Intense, passionate love for one another.” 

Victor grabbed Adam’s upper arms tightly and held him closer. “Let him!” And then he pressed their faces together so their cheeks were touching, making kissing noises and moans and moving their hands dramatically over each other. They pulled back with hearty laughs.

“Y’all are something else, I’ll tell you what,” Dean chuckled with a shake of his head. “Come on, we need to get going.” He started walking when he looked around. “Where’s Gordon and Ruby?”

“You mean ‘Blade’ and ‘The Bride’? They told us not to wait up because their costumes took some time to get into,” Victor replied as they exited the room.

“More like get out of.”

&&

The party was across the way in a fraternity house- Dean had informed Cas that sororities typically have “lame-ass mixers” unless they’re the fun houses, but those girls prefer to go to frat parties- and it was already going when they arrived. People were outside having beer-chugging contests, doing keg-stands, smashing pumpkins- _really where do people even get these ideas from?_ \- and talking very closely. Cas had arrived with Kevin- _Frodo_ \- because Charlie and Jo told him to meet up with them there and Kevin was afraid to go by himself.

“There’s so many people,” Kevin noted cautiously to Castiel. 

“Well, it _is_ a party. There’s typically people at parties,” he retorted. Kevin gave him a worried look, and Cas grabbed his arm and guided them inside and into the kitchen. The music was loud enough to be heard clearly in every room, but not too loud to the point that it’s annoying. “We need to get you a drink so you can relax.”

“A drink? I- uh,” Kevin stammered. 

Castiel picked up two red plastic cups and looked at him incredulously. “You _have_ drank before, right?”

“Well, not _really_ necessarily-“ Cas poured a beer from the keg and handed it to him.

“Drink or don’t, it’s up to you. But if you do, remember: ‘if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.’” Castiel smiled at him, the quote seemed to relax Kevin’s tension already. Kevin accepted the drink and took a sip, not displeased. Cas poured his own cup and downed it quickly. He hated being in crowded areas when there was hardly anyone he knew around. He poured another, but kept it to his chest instead.

“’Permission to speak freely, sir?’” A female voice called from behind him. He turned around to see Charlie in her red, grey and brown riding/leisure attire and Jo in a red gown trimmed in gold, topped with a big crown. He’d barely ever seen Jo in anything other than jeans and a tank top or t-shirt, and he would’ve been inclined to make a joke or comment if she didn’t look so beautiful.

“’Permission granted,’” he returned with a grin. “You two look great!”

“Not too shabby yourself there, Captain,” Charlie said with a tug on his sweater. He looked down and analyzed how the Enterprise logo-marked yellow sweater and black pants looked on him. “’Sup, hobbit,” she directed at Kevin with a nod.

“This dress is uncomfortable, so I vote we start getting wasted immediately,” Jo said over the sound of the music. Charlie voiced her support with a whoop and went to find shot glasses for all of them. “Charlie tells me you’re quite the heavy weight. I’ll have you know, I’ve drank about 80% of the people here under the table before.”

“And the other 20%?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Haven’t met me yet.”

“Is that a challenge, your majesty?” Jo shrugged with a grin. “Then you’re on.”

“Did I hear the makings of a challenge?” Charlie boomed in a mock-announcer voice as she neared them with a plate of shot glasses and bottle of tequila. They stood opposite of each other while Charlie poured them four shots each. “Then, by the power vested in me by the state of inebriation: I declare a drinking duel! You may take your shots!”

Castiel quickly picked up one with each hand, knocked them out one-by-one and flipped them over when they were empty. He slammed the last one down and looked at Jo. “Is that all you got, little man?” she hounded with a challenging smile. 

“Not by a long shot, princess,” he replied. A small crowd had gathered around them and was cheering them on. Charlie took a swig from the bottle before refilling their cups and signaling for them to drink. Cas dunked two back simultaneously back-to-back, earning a cheer from the crowd. He flipped the last two and winced at the burning sensation in his chest, but he knew what he could handle, and this was far from it. Jo was downing her last one when he watched her. She hissed and coughed. “Had enough?”

“You wish,” she retorted.

“If you two get shit-faced this early, it’s gonna be lights-out before it’s even midnight and I can’t carry you in that big ol’ dress,” Charlie warned with another sip from the bottle. 

“Fine, but next time we don’t have anywhere to be the next morning: you, me, a bottle of Jack- we’ll see who the true champion is,” Jo agreed, and Castiel shook her hand in a promise. He was about to ask where Dean was when he turned around and saw him and a few other people chatting. _Han Solo. I should’ve seen that one coming._ When Dean’s eyes found his, he smiled brightly and nodded. He watched Dean’s eyes travel down and register his costume with a raised eyebrow. Dean turned to two other guys- who seemed to be matching- and said something with a nod in their direction. They started walking towards their group, Dean’s eyes boring into his enough to make Castiel feel like the alcohol was kicking in sooner than expected. Cas averted his eyes and turned back to the girls and Kevin nonchalantly.

“Well don’t you look like something the cat dragged in?” Jo teased with a side-hug from Dean.

“Bite me, your worshipfulness.” He laughed and pointed at the guys. “Victor, Adam: you already know Jo, this is Charlie, and Cas- and…?”

Dean was looking at Kevin, who was still trying to stand as close by Castiel’s side as humanly possible without touching. Kevin’s eyes widened when he realized they were all looking at him. “Me? Oh- Kevin… Hey,” he stammered nervously with a small wave.

“And that’s Kevin,” he added with a grin. Dean finally turned his attention to Castiel. “Captain Kirk. He was my favorite, you know.”

 _I know._ “Oh, really? How coincidental,” he replied. Dean narrowed his eyes and smirked. _Nice to know my choice was appreciated._ Dean opened his mouth to reply again when they heard heavy footsteps approaching and turned to look.

Someone in a full-on Darth Vader costume had arrived, and had a tiny blonde girl at his side. The girl had her hair up in a bun and was wearing a blue button-up tucked into her jeans and all but 3 buttons undone, revealing a white tank-top underneath. She looked like she was shaking with excitement, pulling Darth Vader closer to them. “Uh…”

Darth Vader took off his helmet, revealing Chuck underneath breathing heavy. “Hey, guys. This is Becky.”

“Not tonight. Tonight I’m Buffy the vampire slayer!” She corrected with two quick punches to the air. Dean’s eyes widened and his two friends laughed. Chuck introduced everyone in the group- except Victor and Adam, who had to introduce themselves. “So, what are we going to do? Beer pong? Shots? Chugging from a funnel? Let’s party- _Oooohhhh!_ We should play a game!” Becky hurried loudly.

“ _A game!_ That sounds like a great idea,” Dean said patronizingly. “Doesn’t that sound like a great idea, guys?”

“We should play Never Have I Ever- _ooh ooh!_ We should play Truth or Dare!” She paused for a second before exploding again. “Both!”

“Both!” Dean mocked again animatedly. Victor and Adam snorted into their beers and Jo rolled her eyes. Becky didn’t seem to catch on, instead thinking Dean was just really agreeable.

“Actually, that’s not a bad idea. Everybody get two beers each and meet me over there,” Charlie directed, pointing to a spot clear enough for nine people to sit comfortable. Becky squealed in excitement, pulling on Chuck’s armored arm. Dean took over the role of doling out drinks and Cas accepted his and a quick wink from Dean that went unnoticed by everyone else. 

Castiel sat cross-legged next to Charlie, Kevin hurriedly scurrying to sit next on his other side. _Really, is this completely necessary?_ Jo sat on Charlie’s opposite side, Dean next to her, then Adam, Victor, Becky, and Chuck rounding it up next to Kevin. Becky’s eyes widened a little bit when she stared at Victor, and her hand went up to feel his bicep. Cas stared at her in confusion, as did Victor. She smiled shyly and removed her hand. Victor winked at her, causing her to blush and Chuck to glare at Victor and mumble unintelligibly under his breath. “Room for one more?” a sensual voice asked from behind Cas. He turned around and was faced with skin-tight, shiny black leather which he traced up to the top and recognized Meg in a black leather catsuit, topped with cat ears. Before waiting for an answer, she pushed Kevin a little with the heel of her boot and sat between he and Castiel. He greeted her with a smile, returned with a wink. 

“Alright, well here’s the game: it’s Dare or Never Have I Ever Bullshit. It goes around clockwise- i.e. me, then Jo, then Dean, et cetera. You can choose to accept a dare from the group or give us an experience you don’t have. If anyone has done whatever the experience is, they drink. If you see someone not drinking when you know they should be, you can call bullshit. Got it?” The group cheered a little in excitement. _I just hope everyone chooses dare- I don’t want to risk anyone finding out anything they don’t need to know._ “Here we go: Never have I ever… had sex with a guitar player.” Castiel looked around to see who was drinking- Jo and Meg being the only ones. Jo shrugged shyly at the people grinning at her, nobody second guessing Meg. 

Cas figured that was everyone, until Dean locked eyes with him and declared, “Bullshit.” Everyone turned to look at him, and he blushed. He gave Dean a confused look and tried to direct his thoughts at him. _No I haven’t?_ Dean raised his eyebrows skeptically and pursed his lips, giving off an I’m-talking-about-me look. Cas rolled his eyes and took a drink from his beer. Dean smiled victoriously.

“Really? Castiel, you sly dog. Who? Get it!” Various people from the group called out. Cas just shrugged helplessly.

“Okay, okay. I want a dare,” Jo said.

Multiple voices tried to impose their ideas. “I dare you to moon us!” Adam suggested. Jo sighed and looked at Charlie who laughed and told her it was the rules. Jo stood up and turned around, hiking up her dress and bending over to reveal a pair of boy shorts with the words “Kiss It” on the back. The group hooted and cheered, someone whistled, and Jo sat back down, blushing.

“Okay. Never have I ever…” He eyed Castiel judgingly with a glint in his eye. “Never have I ever had sex with Meg.” Everyone laughed, and Meg made a face at Dean. Cas drank from his cup, as did Adam, Victor, and Chuck. _Chuck?_ Everyone stared at Chuck in shock.

“It was one time!” He defended, flustered. Becky’s eyes widened and stared at Meg.

“Hi, I’m Meg. I’m a slut,” she directed at the smaller girl with a sly smile. She turned to Chuck and added, “And, honey, I think I’d really only count that as half a time,” with a wink. The group ooh’ed and howled, laughing at Chuck. He stammered out helpless defenses sarcastically.

“Alright then. Uh, never have I ever had sex in a public place,” Adam added. Charlie and Jo both took drinks with a smile, Victor and Meg drank as well. “Really?”

“What can I say? Sometimes the lovin’ just can’t wait,” Victor joked. “And you should be thanking me, dude. I could be bringing home chicks every night and making you listen.”

“Listen to what? _’Yeah, it’s in. Whoa oh oh oh hugggghhhhnnnuh I’m done.’_ ” Adam impersonated in a deeper voice and shaking with his eyes rolled back. Everyone laughed and clapped him on the back. Cas was really feeling his head start to swim, so he just sat and watched with amusement.

“Oh, and you’re such a stud. The only noise anyone hears is the disappointed footsteps of one girl every blue moon,” he returned with a smug smile. They ooh’ed and laughed and clapped at the response. “Alright, alright. I want a dare.”

Everyone’s response was the same, but Charlie shushed them so she could repeat it clearly. “So we can settle all this sexual tension, please- _for the love of God_ \- kiss Adam.” Everyone cheered their agreement, adding things like ‘Finally!’ and ‘Right on the mouth!’ and ‘Don’t chicken-shit, dude, you gotta do it.’ 

He figured putting up a fight was pointless, and they exchanged shrugs. _The alcohol probably helps, too, anyways._ Quickly, Victor and Adam leaned in and pressed their lips together. They both pulled away with exaggerated disgusted expressions and gulped some of their beer down. “How was it?” Dean asked jokingly.

“Shut up,” Victor responded. 

“Best kiss of my life!” Adam bellowed cheerily with a tip of his cup. Victor laughed and punched him in the arm. _They have_ got _to be hooking up. It’s so obvious._ Dean excused himself momentarily, mentioning something about chocolate.

“It’s your turn, cupcake,” Meg insisted to Becky. The blonde looked around at all of the expecting faces and stammered out lots of nothing. “Do you want a dare?” Becky nodded. “Okay, well, I dare you to chug both of your beers right now. It’s not like you’ll ever drink to our kind of experiences,” she added sidely. Castiel elbowed her softly in the arm. She looked back at him with an amused grin. “What?”

“When will you realize that just because you’ve done everything, doesn’t mean everyone has,” he defended.

Dean sat back down in his spot and watched them. “I don’t know, Clarence, when are you gonna let me take you home again?” Castiel smiled slightly and raised an amused eyebrow.

“When monkeys fly outta my ass,” Dean scoffed through a mouthful of a chocolate bar. Everyone turned to look at Dean, and Cas felt like he got whiplash from turning so quickly. If he didn’t, he was sure his eyes popping out of his head would do the trick. _What the fuck are you doing, you idiot?_ Dean looked as if he just realized he said that out loud and looked at Cas like a deer in the headlights. Cas gave him a questioning look. _Fix it!_ Dean swallowed the bit of food in his mouth and tried to look nonchalant. “It smelled like bitch for days after you left your stink in there.” Meg made a face at him, which Dean returned. Apparently nobody had noticed Becky already drank both of her drinks and was waiting. “Well done, Buffy. Your turn, Darth,” Dean said, dismissing the previous situation.

“Never have I ever felt someone up in public,” he said after thinking. Charlie, Adam, Victor, and Meg all took drinks from their beers. Castiel caught Dean’s eye directly and watching him take a sip, never taking his eyes off of him.

“What about being felt up?” Becky chimed in. Everyone turned to her, surprised. Chuck was caught off guard and he fumbled around his words before deciding it counted. Jo and Becky both took sips- _Didn’t she just not have any drink left?_ \- and Dean watched Cas with the same predatory look as Cas took another sip. Dean licked his bottom lip before looking away again. 

“Uh… I think it’s my turn, right?” Kevin piped up quietly. Someone told him to speak up and he continued louder. “Never have I ever had sex when I wasn’t in a relationship.” Dean and Cas exchanged secret smiles and drank together, as did Charlie, Adam, Victor, and Meg.

“Meg, we already know you’re gonna go with dare because there’s nothing you haven’t done,” Jo teased her friend. Meg shrugged it off helplessly and took a sip. Some people piped up their dares. “I dare you to choose your next victim right now and kiss them.”

Meg considered this and pursed her lips, scanning the room. Castiel didn’t miss the subtle change of expression on Dean’s face when Meg turned to look at him specifically. Finally, she turned to her right and kissed Kevin right on the lips. It was a long, wet kiss that took everyone by surprise- especially Kevin. They all cheered and wolf-whistled, chanting Kevin’s name. When she pulled away, she pressed her lips together and smirked at him. Kevin’s eyes almost bugged out and he gulped in embarrassment. 

They all turned to Castiel, who felt like he was swaying, even though he knew he was sitting perfectly still. “Is it my turn?” They nodded. “Okay, I want a dare.” _I probably couldn’t think of something I haven’t done anyways._

Subconsciously, he knew what everyone was going to say. If the look on Dean’s face could show anything, he was sure he knew it, too. “I dare you and Dean to kiss.”

“Really, guys? Come on,” he pleaded. The girls shook their head with wide grins and the group started drunkenly chanting both ‘Do it! Do it!’ and ‘Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!’ at the same time. 

“Dude, if we had to do it, then so do you. It’s the rules,” Victor said, followed by an agreeing nod from Adam. Cas looked at Dean for his input. Dean licked his lips and shrugged. Castiel raised his eyebrows again to try and communicate _We’d basically be telling everyone the truth._ Dean rolled his eyes and gestured with his face pointedly. ‘ _If we don’t, they’d be more suspicious._ ’ Cas sighed and nodded. He got up on his knees and swayed a little before getting on his hands and knees. Dean followed suit, and they crawled closer to each other.

The group cheered and howled their encouragement. When they were an inch away, Dean’s eyes moved to Cas’ lips and back up to his eyes. “Are you sure?” Cas whispered. Dean answered by surging his head forward and sealing their lips together. Instead of pulling away after a peck like the other guys did, Dean deepened the kiss and pressed forward. Cas felt like his arms were about to fall out from underneath him, but if Dean was sure they wouldn’t be suspicious, he could go along with it. The group around them whooped and whistled and clapped at their enthusiasm. The way Dean’s beer- and chocolate-flavored tongue was dominating his as if they were alone had Cas harder than he would like to admit, especially since they were surrounded by people who were never supposed to know. When Dean finally pulled away with one last little pull on Cas’ bottom, his lust-blown eyes found his again and he smirked. 

They settled back down in their spots, and Castiel made an overwhelmed face and took a drink from his beer. The group was still rowdy and making various comments. ‘God _damn_ , son!’ and ‘Holy _shit!_ ’ and ‘What have you boys not been telling us?’ and ‘Was it as good as I told you it would be, Deano?’ and ‘That was so hot.’ being among them. “Okay, it’s official, _that_ is how you win a game,” Charlie said, impressed. She gestured for everyone to drink for losing, and Cas looked back at Dean who was still eyeing him like he could eat him up. _I am such a goner._

&&

After they had all had a little bit more to drink, Dean was swaying on his feet. It’s that really nice, warm feeling all over that nothing could really damage. The kind of sensation that makes you feel like you could do anything, it makes you brave. _Or ridiculously stupid._ Either way, after Cas had excused himself to go find the bathroom, that ‘sensation’ had Dean following him a few minutes later.

Dean had watched him to find out which bathroom he was going in, just to be sure. He quietly approached the door and turned the knob experimentally. It was unlocked. _Cas and his horrible ability to remember to lock the door._ Dean finished twisting the doorknob and peered in. Cas was swaying while he washed his hands, playing a little bit in the soap bubbles, but otherwise unperturbed. Dean took a step in and turned off the light, shut the door and locked it quickly.

“Hello? Somebody’s in here,” Cas called out blindly. Dean could hear him rinsing his hands in the water and shutting it off. “Hello?” Dean smiled to himself and reached out to place his hands on Cas’ hips firmly and keep him against the counter, but he kept the rest of his body away from him. Castiel froze and tried to squirm out of the grip. “Get- What- Who do you think you are? I think you’ve got the wrong guy.” Dean huffed another laugh, pressing his groin into Cas’ ass. “Whoa whoa whoa- I’m not gay! You have _really_ got the wrong guy.” 

Dean decided it was time the games were over, and he pressed himself completely against Cas and nuzzled into the crook of his neck. Cas’ breath was shaky and his body unmoving. Dean moved his lips and grazed them against his friend’s stubbly jaw and up to his ear. “I think I’ve got the right guy,” he mumbled. Immediately, Cas relaxed and let out the breath he was holding. Dean chuckled and pressed a kiss to the skin where Cas’ jaw met his neck, and Castiel sighed, leaning his head back slightly onto Dean’s shoulder. “Got you a little shaky, didn’t I?”

“You just about scared the ever-loving God out of me, asshole,” Cas muttered. Dean smiled against his skin and kissed slowly over the area of his neck and cheek he could reach. Dean let his hands move from where they were still gripping Cas’ sides tightly and used them to roam the front of his torso. “You smell like booze and chocolate.” Dean laughed softly again. He pulled aside the soft material of the collar of Cas’ sweater and bit gently on the skin underneath where his neck and shoulder met. Cas moaned and relaxed against him further, letting one arm rest on the counter to keep him upright. “What was that kiss all about? You were practically using your tongue to fuck my mouth in front of all of our friends.”

Dean hummed and sucked on Cas’ throat. “I think-“ kiss “-you wanted me to.” Dean paused to slide his hand underneath Cas’ sweater and up to his chest. “Wore this outfit- don’t even like Star Trek,” he mumbled into his skin. Cas’ breath was ragged and he wasn’t trying to hold up an argument. Dean rubbed one of Cas’ nipples and rutted his hips tighter against Cas’ ass, earning another moan from him as he bucked back into it. “But you know I do- know Kirk’s my favorite. Wear it to tease me.” He used his other hand not under Cas’ shirt to palm Cas over his jeans. Cas almost inaudibly whispered his name encouragingly. “Sit there and watch me. Try to judge my reaction to everything. Don’t think I didn’t see you watching me.” He palmed him harder and began grinding his hips into Cas’ rhythmically. Cas pleadingly groaned his name louder. Dean grazed his lips over the expanse of his neck and up to his ear. “Watching you, too, Cas. Only watching you,” he growled. Dean slipped his hand beneath the waistband of Cas’ pants and found his cock hard and uncovered. He chuckled softly and started stroking him. “ _Slut,_ ” he drawled with a nibble on his earlobe. Cas let out a harsh breath at the word and shuddered against him. “Bet you fucking wanted me to follow you. Get away from everyone so I can get you off. Wanted me to make you scream in here so maybe people might walk by the door and hear how fucking slutty you are, getting off in the next room. But the music is loud enough, they’ll disregard it.” He pressed a few more wet kisses and bites to Cas’ neck and stroked him harder. “But they’ll know. You’re in here getting off. Bet that makes it even more exciting, doesn’t it?”

Cas moaned. “D-Dean,” he choked out. Dean bit down on his throat and sucked on it, massaging it with his tongue. “F-f- _fuck_. You’ve got a filthy fuck-fucking mouth, Dean,” he stammered. “One of these days- _shit_ \- someone’s gonna fuck th-those wor-words right out of that- _fu-uck_ \- mouth of yours,” Cas growled.

Dean smirked. “’s that so?” Cas nodded hesitantly. Dean removed his hands from Cas, earning a whimper from him, and spun him around so they were facing each other. He slotted their groins back together and resumed their grinding. Cas’ breath was hot and trembling on his cheek as he clutched at Dean’s shirt. Dean let his hands balance on the counter to hold them up and he rested his forehead against Cas’ temple so their mouths were less than an inch apart. It was pitch-black in the bathroom, but he could tell Cas’ eyes were connected with his. “You gonna be the one to do it?” Cas’ breath hitched and he nodded slowly. Dean pressed their mouths together, already both open and wanting. Cas moaned into his mouth and rutted against him desperately. But Dean was going to kiss him until he felt like stopping. Dean used his tongue to roam Cas’ mouth and push against Cas’ own. He nibbled and sucked on his lips until they were swollen. He finally pulled his lips away and they breathed heavily against each other. “Then do it.”

Dean sunk to his knees with a loud thud and began unbuttoning Cas’ pants. “ _Dean_ ,” Cas whispered, his hands falling to rest on Dean’s shoulders and cling to the material of his vest desperately. Dean grinned into the darkness and tugged down Cas’ pants to his thighs, a soft hiss coming from him. 

Dean leaned forward to mouth against the base of Cas’ cock, holding onto the back of his legs right above the knee. “Come on, Cas. Fuck the words out of my mouth,” he urged. Cas moaned even louder at the sound of him saying it, and when he licked the head of Cas’ cock between his lips, all restrains broke free.

Cas moved one of his hands to hold tightly to the longer hair on the top of Dean’s head as he bucked his hips forward while simultaneously pulling Dean’s head into them. Dean almost gagged, but he immediately relaxed his throat and sucked him harder, encouragingly. “Fuck,” Cas groaned with another buck of his hips into Dean’s hot mouth. Dean swallowed around the head and used his tongue to massage where it could. “De _an!_ God.” He gripped his hair tighter and pulled it back before slamming it back down to the base of his cock. “ _Holy shit, Dean_ ,” Cas moaned. Dean grabbed the back of Cas’ thighs tighter _because wow- I wasn’t expecting him to be so forceful._ Feeling reassured that he wasn’t going to hurt Dean, he began to set up a rhythmic pace. Sometimes he held Dean’s face still while he fucked into his mouth with just his hips. Sometimes he kept his hips still and bounced Dean’s head onto his cock. More often, he used both simultaneously. Moving Dean’s head and his hips back before slamming them back together _almost_ brutally. “DeanDeanDean _fuckfuck_ De- _ean_ ,” he chanted gutturally. 

Dean would never admit just how hot Cas losing control was. The way he moaned and screamed like he was fucking paid for it, and all for Dean. How he’s standing there _fucking shoving_ his cock down Dean’s throat only giving him time to swallow around him before slamming back in. Dean dug his nails into the back of his thighs harder, his own arousal hurting from straining so hard against his pants. The pressure of Dean’s fingers caused Cas’ hips to stutter momentarily, the only thing disrupting his rhythmic pace. “ _Shit_ ,” he breathed. Cas moved his hand that was clinging to his shoulder so that they were both gripping Dean’s head, this one holding the back where it connects to the neck. _Fuck, he’s about to fuck my throat._ The thought itself almost sent him over the edge, but he braced himself. Cas instead tried something different. He slammed Dean’s head back and forth on his cock like there was no tomorrow, but he was grinding his hips consistently. He added and extra grind to his hips when Dean’s mouth was fully covering his dick, pointedly rubbing his throat. “De-De-De- _DeanfuckshitDeanGod_ -“ he panted loudly. Dean had begun subconsciously humping his own hips forward, consequently rubbing his restrained dick against the cloth. The friction felt so good, he couldn’t stop, even if that meant creaming his pants like a goddamn 15 year old. He would never admit it out loud, but he loved Cas using him like this. Just completely fucking into his mouth and throat with abandon. Cas’ increasingly louder groans were a sure sign of him being really close. Dean grabbed on for dear life and began sucking and swallowing with all his might while also trying to hum around him. “DEAN!” Cas screamed suddenly, hips stuttering again. Dean didn’t falter, no matter how close he was himself from coming untouched. “ _DEAN_ -DEAN- _FUCK_ -YEAH-OHMYGOD- _DEEEANNN_!” With two more thrusts, Cas came right into the tight throat. The hot liquid caught Dean off-guard and next thing he knew, he was coming in his pants right after him with a long grunt. The vibrations around Cas’ dick caused him to scream again and his legs to shake, another shot hitting the back of Dean’s throat. Dean swallowed around him and pulled off gently, licking and sucking the rest of the mess he could feel. “Dean,” Cas breathed heavily.

Dean smiled and tucked him back into his pants and button them as best as he could in the darkness. His own pants were getting cold, and he really hoped everyone was too drunk to notice the wet spot that was bound to be obvious. He stood up slowly, still way too drunk and way too fucked-out to stand upright on his own, and leaned against Cas and the counter behind him. He rested their foreheads together and tried to catch his breath. He was finding it really hard to speak, or even find the words he wanted to say. “Did you-?” Cas muttered against his cheek. He nodded silently with a small grin. Cas huffed a laugh. “Did I fuck the words out of your mouth?” Dean chuckled softly and nodded again. They stood together in a comfortable silence, and Dean was on the edge of falling asleep right there, when Cas nudged him in the ribs, causing him to squirm. “We should really get out of here.” Dean huffed in disappointment but nodded anyways. Dean grabbed his arm and held it behind him while he reached out to find the doorknob and unlock it. He opened it enough to peer out and make sure the coast is clear. “Dean-“ Dean caught Cas’ mouth with his own briefly, just to savor the memory before they have to leave and keep acting like they didn’t just fuck in the bathroom. He felt Cas smile against him and he smiled back. 

The light burned his eyes and he squinted, trying to see where everyone was. Charlie and Jo were snuggled up on the couch and talking, Chuck was hopelessly trying to chase Becky in his heavy costume while she was storming out the front door, Victor and Adam had both gone off to find their hook-ups for the night, and Meg and Kevin were nowhere to be found. _Good luck, little buddy._ Cas walked around him and stood to face him. Dean got a good look at how debauched Cas was- clothes askew and hanging loosely in a few spots, lips kissed swollen- and he was sure he looked 100 times worse. If Cas’ amused grin was anything to go by, his assumption was spot-on. “Shut up,” he mouthed, voice caught in his throat. Cas laughed at that and shook his head. Dean pulled out his phone to check the time. It was already 12:48 AM, and he was exhausted from the alcohol and rigorous activity. 

He showed Cas the time as they started walking. “Do you want to just get out of here? I’m really tired, but if you want to stay, I’ll leave the door unlocked for you,” Cas suggested with a yawn. Dean tried to say ‘I’m tired, too,’ but nothing was going to come out, so he just nodded and walked with Cas out the front door, everyone else too wasted to pay them any mind.

“-But it’s our third date!” they heard a familiar voice yell objectively. When they walked closer, they could see Chuck yelling at a car window. “What was I supposed to think?”

“Not that I’m going to have sex with you! I’m 17!” Becky screamed back from inside the car.

“You’re _what?!_ ”

“Uh-oh,” Cas mumbled to Dean. _May the Force be with you, Chuck. You’re gonna need it._


	10. November 17

“Joanna Beth Harvelle, I _know_ you did not just hang up on me!” the stern voice boomed from the receiver. Meg looked over to her from her bed with a questioning look.

Jo rolled her eyes. “Sorry, Mom! My hand slipped and it must’ve hit the ‘end call’ button.”

“’End call’ button- creative,” Meg commented with a smirk, focusing on painting her toenails.

“Bite me,” Jo tossed at her with a dirty look.

“ _What_ did you just say to me? Joanna, I will _not_ hesitate to come down there and whoop your smartass in front of all your little friends. Do you hear me?”

“No, Mom, I wasn’t talking to you. I was-“ Meg laughed to herself and Jo threw a stuffed animal at her.

“You better not have been talking to me. Now, if I could have your attention, you need to answer my question,” Ellen said, returning to the subject. Jo sighed and laid back on her bed. _I hate decisions._

“I don’t know what to say, Mom. Char asked me to go to her parent’s house for Thanksgiving-“

“Tell her to come here. You have a family, too, you know. I’m not just going to have it be me, Rufus, and Miles. I love that boy- you know I do- but he is just too much for me to handle for that long by myself.”

“You’ll have Rufus! And his name is Ash, not Miles,” she replied. 

“That’s just more testosterone for me to have to deal with. And if his mama put Miles on his birth certificate, his name is Miles. Jo, baby, please just come home for Thanksgiving. Tell Charlene I will make her anything she wants. Tell her she can have her parents come here and we can all meet. How does that sound?”

Jo huffed again. She wanted to go home for Thanksgiving, of course she did, but Charlie was so excited about Jo meeting her parents- how was she supposed to say no? “Mom-“

“Listen, just talk to her about it, and see what she has to say about it. I miss you, baby, I just want a couple of days where I can actually see that you’re okay,” Ellen said quietly. 

“I’m okay, Mama, I promise. I’ll talk to her about it today,” she replied. She heard her mom let out a relieved breath. “You and Rufus have a fun date tonight. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“I have been with that man for eight years now, I think I can do whatever I want with him,” Ellen said with a laugh.

“ _Ew_ , I do not need to hear this. Happy anniversary, y’all. I love you,” Jo said with a smile.

“I love you, Mommy!” Meg yelled from across the room. Jo rolled her eyes and her mom laughed.

“I love you too, baby. Tell Megan I said to stay out of trouble.” They hung up. Jo turned her radio back on and rolled onto her stomach, squishing a pillow underneath her chin. Meg screwed the lid back on her nail polish and wiggled her toes. “What do you think I should do?”

“You’re asking _me_ for advice on family issues?” Meg asked with a raised eyebrow. Jo shrugged. “What do you want to do?”

“That’s the problem. I want to spend Thanksgiving with Charlie, but I don’t know if her parents are traditional or something and wouldn’t want to spend it with a backwoods family like mine.”

“Then fuck ‘em. Don’t go anywhere. They don’t want to compromise, stay here over break and hang out with me.”

Jo chuckled. “I can’t do that. My mom would kill me. And besides, I want Char to meet my mom and Rufus.”

Meg shrugged slightly. “I don’t see why introducing them is so important.”

Jo gave her a sarcastic look. “She _is_ my girlfriend. That’s typically the next step in a relationship, you know.”

Meg tensed for a second and her jaw tightened almost unperceptively. “No, I really can’t say that I do.” Jo sighed apologetically. Meg had such a strong personality, sometimes it was difficult for Jo to remember she had feelings too. Meg shook her head and returned to her usual calm and controlled expression. “Well, if you really think it’s so important, I say ask Red to go to your parents’ place and see if her parents will come too. Her parents won’t have to worry about space because your mom has the Roadhouse; your parents can meet hers. It’s a win-win.”

Jo nodded and rolled onto her back. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks.” Meg nodded absently and buffed her fingernails. “You can come too, if you want. It’s no trouble or anything.”

Meg looked up from her nails and gave her a small smile. “Nah, don’t worry about me, sugar. I’ve gone this long without awkward family get-togethers, I can keep going.”

_But why don’t you have family get-togethers? Why won’t you just tell me?_ Jo sighed and rolled off the bed, walking to the dresser to get a clean pair of jeans. “Well, the offer is always going to be extended, so if you ever change your mind...” Meg nodded again. “So I have a question-“

“Do I _look_ like Google to you?”

Jo rolled her eyes and changed pants, ignoring Meg’s remark. “Are you actually interested in Cas?”

She pulled off her shirt and looked for a new one. Meg chuckled at the question. “I’m never interested in anyone who isn’t interested in me.”

“What makes you think he isn’t interested in you?”

“Well, for one: I’m not his little boyfriend, Deano,” Meg mumbled sarcastically.

Jo whipped her head around at her. “Cas isn’t gay. Especially not for Dean. I mean, we give them a hard time, but we didn’t think anyone actually thought we were serious.” Jo shucked on a worn-down tank top and sat down to lace up her boots. “How could he be gay anyways- he had sex with you? That means he’s straight.”

“No, that just means he fucks women,” Meg replied accordingly.

“Well, either way, Dean definitely isn’t gay- he’s, like, the straightest guy I’ve ever met.”

“Alright- one: that’s because you’re from Southern California and everyone’s at least a quarter gay.” Jo rolled her eyes. “Two: he’s obviously overcompensating. I can see past that rugged, manly exterior and into his sensitive, cheesy little heart of his. Besides, why would I be a more believable interest for Clarence than Dean?”

Jo considered the question. “They have nothing in common.”

Meg huffed a laugh again. “Just leave it, Blondie. If you don’t want to consider the possibility of two of your really hot friends fucking, it’s alright with me. I’ll think about it all I want.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively and Jo laughed. “You going to work?”

“Yeah. Fuckin’ Ruby called out again. I seriously don’t understand why she has a job if she’s not going to work.” Jo pulled on her jacket and put her pocket knife in her boot.

Meg snorted. “Because she’s a stupid cunt who likes to make everyone’s lives difficult,” she spat under her breath. Meg was still looking at her nails, retrieving the polish again.

“I still don’t know why you hate her so much.” Jo waited for Meg’s response, but it didn’t come. _Fine, it’s not like I already know everything about you. Seriously, how can we be friends if she won’t tell me shit about her life?_ Jo sighed once more and ignored her lack of cooperation. “Alright, then, I’m going to work now. Try not to kill anybody while I’m gone.”

“Bye, sexy,” Meg called from the bed as she walked out the door. Jo smiled without turning back and flipped her off before shutting the door. _Even behind closed doors, people can’t talk out loud about what they’re thinking. Whatever. Maybe someday._

&&

_Dan felt different. Better. Stronger. He didn’t feel weak or like something was holding him back anymore. He walked closer to the temporarily unmoving body of his brother and loomed over him. For some reason, it felt right seeing Sean on his back, knocked out cold. His older brother came to and looked up at him. “Dan! We gotta burn Ellicott's bones and all this will be over, and you'll be back to normal,” Sean rushed out._

_Dan laughed humorlessly. Sean could be really stupid sometimes. “I am normal. I'm just telling the truth for the first time. I mean, why are we even here? ’Cause you're following Dad's orders like a good little solider? Because you always do what he says without question?” Sean looked at him in shock. “Are you that desperate for his approval?”_

_Sean hesitated momentarily. “This isn’t you, Dan.”_

_“That's the difference between you and me. I have a mind of my own. I'm not pathetic, like you,” he said. He knew the words would hurt his brother- always so delicate when it came to his being Daddy’s good little soldier._

_Sean hardened. “So what are you gonna do, huh? Are you gonna kill me?”_

_“You know what, I am sick of doing what you tell me to do. We're no closer to finding Dad today than we were six months ago.” And it was true. This wild goose chase they were on- it was pointless. They might find Dad, and then what? This was all Sean’s fault._

“You _do_ realize you’re talking out loud, right?” a British voice interrupted his train of thought. He looked up from his bright laptop screen and over to the figure standing in the doorway. “And why are you sitting in the dark?” He flipped on the lights and Chuck squeezed his eyes shut at the suddenness.

“I was in my zone, _Balthazar,_ ” Chuck replied sourly.

“Oh, you got into something, alright,” he mumbled, entering the room and closing the door behind him. Chuck rolled his eyes and grumbled, pushing his glasses back up his nose and turning his attention back to his Word document. He hoped his roommate would do what he always did and vanish somewhere. “What are you typing?”

Chuck grumbled again and took his glasses off. “It’s a novel about two brothers who hunt the supernatural- I’ve explained this to you numerous times.”

Balthazar made a face and took out a clean change of clothes- _a tight v-neck and even tighter black skinny jeans every day. Why bother even changing?_ “Have you talked to Rebecca lately?”

“Becky!” Chuck blurted impatiently. “Her name is Becky,” he added more slowly. “And no, I haven’t. Not since the day after Halloween.” Thinking of her, he pulled out his cell phone and checked it for new messages, emails, or missed calls. _Nothing._

“That’s unfortunate. You seemed to really fancy her from what I saw.”

“Well, you didn’t see much because you’re never around, so you don’t know what you’re talking about. So just...” Chuck looked away and furrowed his brow. “Stop trying to pretend like you care, and go back to your... manwhoring or whatever.”

Balthazar pursed his lips and took a few steps closer to Chuck’s desk. He leaned his back against the desk and studied Chuck’s face. The smaller man sighed pointedly. “You know, _Chuck,_ when someone is trying to be friendly, it’s best to try and be civil in return instead of saying malicious things in an attempt to keep your defenses up,” Balthazar spoke evenly. Chuck made a point of not looking at him. “You never know what types of people who could prove to be very good friends if only you’d let them.” He patted Chuck gently on the shoulder and got up when Chuck remained silent. “Don’t complain about not having friends if you’re not willing to make an effort in return.”

_I have friends. What does he know about me? Nothing._ Chuck stood up determinedly and spun around to face him. “I have friends.”

Balthazar nodded quietly as he changed shirts. Chuck huffed and shielded his eyes. “If you insist on continuing this conversation, I have to get dressed out here,” he mumbled. “And who are your friends? Think hard about your definition of the word.”

“What are you talking-“ Chuck broke off to consider it. “A friend is someone you talk to regularly... Someone who will hang out with you and not make fun of you. Well, not whenever it means something, anyways. Uh, yeah. Castiel is my friend. So is Charlie. And, um. This guy, Jim, is pretty nice to me.”

Balthazar wiggled into his pants and considered what Chuck said. “ _‘This guy, Jim, is pretty nice to me.’_ That’s- that’s pretty vague, I won’t lie to you. If you want my opinion-“ _Which I don’t._ “-you should try to make more of an effort. I don’t mean going out of your way to talk to new people, don’t get your knickers in a bunch. I just mean, stop writing everyone off. Stop keeping your guard up. Let someone in if they seem like they want to get to know you. Or even if they’re just being friendly, be civil back. I can guarantee it will be worth it.”

Chuck’s mouth opened and closed around words that never came out. _Nobody wants to be my friend- what is he talking about? It’s not my fault. Nobody wants to be friends with the weird, sketchy guy that sits behind a computer all day and all night because of his social anxiety and insomnia. Or the tool who takes a minor to a college party, gets her drunk and tries to sleep with her. Damn, even I wouldn’t be my friend._

As if he could read his thoughts, Balthazar put a hang on his shoulder. “Whatever you’re thinking is wrong. Just stop thinking whatever it is that is stressing you out. I promise there will always be _someone_ who will want to be your friend.”

Chuck nodded absently. The larger man patted him and got his jacket. “Hey- uh, what are- uh, what are you doing- doing, uh, today?” Chuck stammered, trying to seem casual as he crossed and uncrossed his arms and shifted on his feet.

Balthazar laughed and shucked his jacket on. “ _I_ have a date with destiny.” Chuck furrowed his brow in confusion. “If destiny was a busty set of twins.” Chuck huffed a laugh and rolled his eyes before sitting back down at his desk. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

Chuck turned on his laptop and put his glasses back on. With a wave over his shoulder, he replied, “Don’t worry about it. I’ve, uh, I’ve got to get this chapter out by Monday, so...”

“Right. Well,” he clapped his hands and Chuck heard the door handle turn. “See you, mate.” Chuck didn’t spare a glance over his shoulder until he heard the door shut behind his roommate.

“ _’I promise there will be someone who will be you friend.’_ What does he know? He doesn’t know me.” _Because you won’t let him._ “Shut up. Nobody wants to be friends with the guy who talks to himself out loud all the time.” _If you had someone else to talk to, you wouldn’t talk to yourself so much; keep your thoughts in your head._ “Stop. Focus, Chuck. This is what Dad was talking about. _’You’ll never make it as a writer because you can never focus on anything.’_ Focus.”

He shook his head and let his hands flow on the keyboard. _“Well, then here. Let me make it easier for you.” Sean took his With & Smesson and extended it towards Dan. Dan looked at the gun, not moving. “Come on. Take it. Real bullets are gonna work a hell of a lot better than rock salt,” he spoke with anger seeping through his voice. Dan didn’t make any move yet, so Sean added a loud “Take it!”_

_Dan snatched the gun and pointed it at his brother. He was just so consumed with all of his previously repressed rage, it didn’t matter that the person at the other end of the barrel was the only real dad, brother, and friend he ever knew. Right now, Sean was just the person who ruined his life. Dan had been set, he finally got out. He was on his way to getting into medical school and marrying the girl of his dreams. Then Sean had to come back and suck him back in like a black hole. Cleaning up Dad’s messes as always. Jennifer would still be alive if Sean would have let him be. “You hate me that much? You think you could kill your own brother?” Sean asked slowly. Dean kept the gun pointed directly at his face. Sean’s jaw tightened and he snapped. “Then go ahead. Pull the trigger. Do it!”_

Chuck’s phone rang loudly from its spot on his desk. He groaned and flipped it open. “What?”

“Uh... Chuck?” a gravelly voice sounded from the other end. Chuck pulled the phone back to check the caller ID.

“Oh, hello, Castiel- sorry, I was distracted.” Chuck rubbed two of his fingers over the bridge of his nose under his glasses.

“Are you okay?” Castiel seemed worried. _Probably just being polite._

“Yeah, I’m fine. What’s up?”

“Did you have anything planned for tonight?”

Chuck perked up a little. “No! No, uh... Yeah, nothing planned. Why?”

“Okay, awesome. I need to ask a favor of you.” Chuck sank back down in his seat. _Of course._ “Could you cover my 5-10 shift tonight? You can close early if you want- that’s what I do on Saturdays.”

He fiddled with the ripped, worn fabric of his jeans. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”

“Oh, um. If you don’t want to, I understand. Yes- nevermind, I’m sorry. I’ve got to call-“ Castiel rushed out awkwardly.

“No, really, it’s no problem. I don’t want anyone to have to cancel their plans whenever I’ve got nothing going on.” _Nothing at all._

Castiel hesitated. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Have fun doing- whatever it is you’re doing.”

“I’ve, uh-“ Castiel gave a faint nervous laugh. “I’ve got a date tonight.”

Chuck nodded to himself. _Of course. Everyone does except for me._ “That’s... good.”

“Yeah,” Castiel paused, letting a small silence fall over the phone. “Any word from Becky?”

“No,” Chuck answered quietly. “I, uh- I don’t think I’ll be hearing from her again.”

Castiel didn’t laugh at him; he didn’t ‘aww’ at him in pity. He didn’t do anything like people usually do. “If you want to talk or anything, I’m here. But try not to worry about her. She was underage and couldn’t really appreciate you. You’ll find someone way better suited for you, I’m sure.”

Chuck snorted sadly. “Or I’ll just die alone.”

“You won’t die alone, Chuck. You’ve got your friends. I’m not going to ever just _not_ be here for you.”

“So we’re friends?” Chuck asked slowly.

Cas huffed a laugh. “Well, I thought so.”

Chuck smiled down at his lap. “Me too.” He stayed silent for a moment and Castiel cleared his throat. “So, yeah, don’t worry about tonight. I’ll cover your shift. Have fun on your date.”

“Thank you, Chuck. I owe you one.” He said he had to go and they hung up.

_We really are friends. Castiel is such a good person. I bet he’d do just about anything for his friends._

&&

“Tonight is gonna be _boss_ , man. I’m gonna get wa-ay-hay-hay- _sted_ ,” Adam said enthusiastically, spinning a football in his hands.

“Stop saying things are ‘boss’,” Victor said with his lips pursed, intently focused on his video game. “It’s stupid.”

“You’re stupid. And, okay, tonight’s going to be fucking _delightful_ , is that better?” Adam made a face and Victor mocked it right back. 

“Tonight isn’t going to happen if I can’t beat this level again. Man, I cannot _believe_ you crashed my memory and lost all of my progress.”

“How many times do I have to apologize? I just used your computer for homework, you said it was cool.”

“ _Bullshit!_ ” Victor paused his game and saved it- _again_ \- and spun around to face him. “You downloaded porn! Onto my laptop! _My_ laptop now has _your_ weirdly romantic porn.”

Adam snorted a laugh and flopped onto the desk behind him. “It’s not _weird_ , it has a nice soundtrack, and the girls don’t have the whole,” he motioned to his face, “dead eyes thing. And- hey! You were watching my porn!”

Victor furrowed his brow and looked baffled. “It’s my computer! I can do what I want on _my_ computer! It’s not my fault yours broke.”

“It actually _is_ kind of your fault.” Victor opened his mouth to defend himself. “Remember that girl you brought back two weeks ago?” Victor nodded. “She said you never called and was yelling at me and broke my computer thinking it was yours.”

Victor fought back a smile, but a snort escaped him. Adam rolled his eyes and hopped off the desk. “I’m so sorry, man. I had no idea she was nuts.”

Adam opened his mouth to reply again when their room’s end of the bathroom opened and Gordon popped his head through. _I really hate these suites. Conjoined bathrooms suck._ “Are you two homos gonna stay in here with your thumbs up each other’s asses or are you gonna get ready?”

“We’re just playing football, why would we need to get ready?” Victor asked, and Gordon made a face.

“Just shut up and tell Dean to hurry his pretty ass up. We’re gonna meet on the quad. Nick went to get the beers and should be there when we are.”

Victor made no rush of shutting down his computer, and Gordon tapped his foot on the ground impatiently. “You know, if you keep calling Dean’s ass pretty and calling us homos people might start thinking you’re overcompensating,” Adam said with a smirk.

Gordon’s eyes lost all amusement and he grimaced. “You tryin’ to say something, Milligan? You wanna come out and say what you think?”

“Dude, calm down. He was joking. Besides, being called gay isn’t an insult- just inaccurate in our cases,” Victor defended calmly, grabbing their room key and putting the lanyard around his neck.

“Whatever, fags,” Gordon mumbled as he shut the bathroom door and disappeared.

Victor and Adam walked out of their room and rushed down the two flights of stairs to Dean’s floor. “Hey- what do you think about that Cas guy?”

Victor looked at him questioningly. “Why?” He took the football from Adam.

Adam shrugged and put his hands in his pockets. “Now that he and Dean are BFFs, we’ve actually gotten to get to know him a little... Just curious what you think about him.”

“He’s, uh... He’s quiet. And a nerd. But not as quiet and nerdy as he was last year. He’s cool, I guess, once you get to know him- which... Which we really haven’t done. But I guess he’s pretty laid back. Why, what do you think about him?”

Adam shrugged again. “About the same. I kinda wonder how he can be so quiet and get so many girls throwing themselves at him. He must be _great_ in bed.”

Victor laughed and elbowed him suggestively. “You curious about finding out for yourself?” Adam told him to shut up and punched his arm. “But I see what you mean. You know he’s going out with Tessa tonight? I heard her telling Pam about it. _She_ asked _him_ out.”

“ _Right_? I can’t fucking believe it. Every time I try to talk to Tess, she just tells me she isn’t interested. And lo and behold, Mr. Sex Hair can get her to ask him out within their second conversation ever.”

“‘ _Mr. Sex Hair_ ’?” Victor asked with a raised eyebrow as they neared Dean’s dorm.

“Shut up.” Victor laughed again. When they got closer, they could hear music playing loudly from within the room. It was some classic rock stuff, so obviously it was Dean’s music. “What the hell?”

The music was quiet enough to not disturb everyone in the hall, but loud enough that you couldn’t hear inside. Victor returned his confused look and knocked on the door. “ _Shit_ ,” they heard a voice say from inside. _Sounds like Dean, but different?_

“Dean?” Victor called with another couple of knocks.

“Uh- _yeah_ \- uh, one second!” he yelled back, his voice cracking a little. Adam mouthed ‘What the fuck?’ and Victor shrugged. The volume of the music increased slightly and there was a loud bang on the wall. “Holy _shit!_ ” Dean all-but-yelled. 

Victor knocked on the door again. “Dean, are you okay?”

“Yeah- _fuck_ \- guys, just give me a minute!” Victor and Adam exchanged looks again when they heard another bang and a gravelly “ _Fuck_.” ‘Is he-?’ Victor mouthed. Adam raised his eyebrows and shrugged slightly. He opened his mouth to respond when they heard the music stop and a couple of hushed whispers. Adam knocked this time and someone sighed heavily. “Just a minute- damn, guys, chill. I’m going as fast as I can,” Dean’s voice spoke clearly and exasperatedly. The boys backed up from the door and waited. They heard the door inside shut and a couple of hushed voices again before the room door opened.

“It’s about damn time,” Victor said when he saw Dean. Dean rolled his eyes and walked into the room, leaving the door open for his friends. Dean’s face was slightly red, some sweat clinging to the back of his shirt. “Were you exercising?”

Dean snorted and his eyes darted around the room. “No, I was cleaning and it’s hot in here. Shut up.” Adam gave the room a once-over and nodded. _Even though it really doesn’t look any cleaner than usual. Cas’ stuff is completely organized, and Dean’s is clean, but he doesn’t have a lot of stuff to clean, so it shouldn’t be that hard._ “Yeah, are we ready to go or what?”

“Uh, yeah- is Cas on his date already?” Adam asked. Victor grinned at him slightly and he huffed, stealing the football back. Dean opened his mouth, but was cut off by Cas coming out of the bathroom. Cas had on a bluish-grey and white plaid button up on with a black sweater vest pulled over top, the button-up’s sleeves rolled to his elbows, a nice pair of jeans fitted well on his lower-half. _If I wasn’t straight..._ “Lookin’ spiffy there, Cas,” Adam said with a smile. Victor elbowed him again. _Asshat._

Castiel shyly smiled a thanks to him and grabbed his wallet. When Cas noticed Dean was watching him, he blushed a little and averted his eyes. _Cute._ “So, Tessa, right? What are you two crazy kids getting up to tonight?” Victor asked.

Castiel looked up, his hair untidy but tidy at the same time- _Seriously, how does this kid do it?_ \- and chuckled. “Yes, Tessa. We’re just getting a cup of coffee and hanging out, as far as I know,” Cas replied with his gravelly voice, walking closer. He held out his arms at his sides. “Do I look presentable?”

The three other guys looked him up and down, studying his disposition. He fidgeted a little bit under the scrutiny, Adam guessed he meant it rhetorically. Victor nodded and Dean gave him a small grin that Adam couldn’t read if he wanted to, and Adam noticed a little spot on the side of his mouth. “You, uh-“ he motioned to his own mouth where the spot was on Cas, “You got a little something.” Castiel furrowed his brow and reached his hand up to the wrong side of his mouth. Adam laughed inwardly and switched hands. “The other side.” Castiel’s thumb landed on the little white, dry spot and Adam nodded. Castiel wiped it off and blushed when he saw it. He glanced over and met Dean’s eyes. He looked like he was inwardly debating something before he hesitantly wiped it on his jeans. 

“Sorry, I was brushing my teeth and I guess some toothpaste dried,” he rushed out. He turned away and grabbed his key and shoved it in his pocket.

Dean fidgeted on his feet and clapped his hands together. “Are we ready to go, or are we just going to stand around?” 

Victor nodded and headed towards the door. “Later, Castiel.” Cas nodded and waved slightly.

“Bye, Cas. Make sure she puts out!” Adam called over his shoulder. He heard Dean snort sarcastically and he shoved him from behind. He and Victor walked ahead, missing whatever it is Dean was saying to Castiel. When Dean caught up, he took the ball from Adam’s hands. Adam let him have it and put his hands in his pockets. “So, are there gonna be chicks there tonight?”

Dean sighed and tossed the ball in the air. “There’d better be.”

&&

_He’d better not be ditching me._ Tessa waited outside of the coffee shop impatiently, her arms crossed to help block some of the breeze rolling in. It was a cool, autumn night and here she was, waiting outside of a perfectly warm building for a guy she barely knew. She never did this, so why is she doing it now? _Damned Castiel._ She shivered and held her jacket closer, tapping her foot lightly. Checking her watch, she noticed it was still five minutes before the time they agreed on. _So, really, I can’t be mad just yet._ A few seconds later, she saw him approaching up the steps with a grin on his face. The butterflies in her gut reminded her of why she was going out on a limb for the first time. “Hey, I wanted to be the first one here,” he greeted. He walked up to the door and held it open for her.

“What can I say? I like to be early. But don’t worry, I wasn’t waiting very long,” she replied nonchalantly. _If ten minutes isn’t very long._ Cas left it at that and smiled at her, offering to place her jacket on the coat rack. She let him remove it and place it on the top of the rack, smoothing it out as he did so. _God, those are some nice hands._ Tessa nodded inwardly and shook her head. _Stop being such a pervert. What would Dad think?_ “So, I’m glad you came.”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” _Maybe you didn’t know me well enough. Maybe I’m not your type. Maybe you’re gay. You know, just stuff my friends have been telling me, whatever._ Instead of saying any of that, she just smiled and shrugged. When they approached the counter, Tessa ordered a mocha cappuccino and Castiel ordered a decaffeinated regular coffee. When she raised an eyebrow to him over his drink choice, he shrugged. “Don’t want to be up all night.” She laughed inwardly and nodded to herself. _Unpresumptuous. Very refreshing._

They took a seat near the back of the room, away from the louder customers and she sat her purse on the table. The cashier called their names and he excused himself to go get them. Quickly, Tessa pulled out her pocket mirror and checked her hair and makeup. _You look fine, Tess. Stop worrying so much._ She took a deep breath and put her mirror away. Castiel came back with their cups and they smiled. “Thank you.” She took a sip from her own and settled into her seat. “So, Castiel. Tell me about yourself.”

Cas drank from his cup and smiled shyly. “Uh, I’m not entirely sure what there is to tell. I’m from the suburbs in Illinois... I came to California because I hate Illinois. And now I’m a Linguistics and Psychology Major,” he said deliberately.

“Linguistics and Psychology, that’s interesting. Why do you hate Illinois?” Castiel’s jaw tightened and he took a sip of his coffee before pressing his lips into a tight line, looking at his hands. _Don’t shut me out. This is going so well, come on._

“Just too familiar, I suppose,” he said softly as he looked up. “If you’re in one place for too long, it loses its value, I think. I just wanted to get out as fast as possible.”

Tess nodded and leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand. “I understand. So, you want to see the world?”

Cas smiled to himself and leaned back into his seat comfortably. “That would be ideal, yes. After school, I want to work for a science journal and observe the different behavioral patterns of various species around the world, so I might be able to be paid to travel.”

Tessa watched the little smile that tugged on the corners of Castiel’s mouth and smiled in return. _He’s so cute when he talks about something that interests him._ “It’s really cool that you’re into that stuff. Alright, what’s your favorite _species_? Something you could never get tired of?” She took a drink from her cup and watched him think it over.

He slotted his eyes and licked his lip absently. “Humans.”

She raised her eyebrows. “All of the species in the world and you choose humans.”

He leaned forward, eyes glittering enthusiastically. “Just think about it: every single human is unique. We all have our own behaviors, habits, ways of doing things, what makes us tick. But even though we have individual characteristics, we all still have the same core, and a lot of us do the same things even without realizing it. We all like different things, we all look at everything differently, and yet you and I both hold our coffee cups the same way.” He reached out his hand to touch the middle of her cup, the exact way she was holding it, mimicking the motion with his own cup, tucking the top of his pinky into the cup. “See? So many people say it’s the little things that set us apart from each other, but I feel like we’re all obviously unique- it’s the small things that make us similar and bind us together as a whole- as _humanity_.” Tessa watched him with wonder as he stopped talking and averted his eyes, a small blush spreading on his cheeks. He laughed nervously. “You probably think that was extremely strange. My apologies.”

“Not at all. That was super cool. Kind of beyond my comprehension, but I get it. Your look on life is fascinating,” she said. 

He grinned and took a drink of his coffee before thumbing at the edge of the lid. “So, what about you?”

“Born and raised in California. It was just my dad and I, but I’m not really complaining. My dad started a business when he was really young, it’s been around forever. I’m majoring in Business Econ for whenever he decides to retire- which won’t be any time soon, as far as I can tell.”

He nodded, actively listening. _Guys don’t listen enough. This is awesome. Also, weird._ “What kind of business?”

Tessa hissed and laughed nervously. “You’ll probably think we’re weird.” Castiel shook his head. “We run a funeral home and undertaking service.”

Cas’ eyebrows raised, but he nodded nonchalantly. “That’s not that weird. You deal more with... dead humans, as opposed to my live ones.” She laughed again and shrugged. “What made your dad get into the funeral business?”

She shook her head as she took the last sip of her coffee. “You know, I couldn’t tell you. It was so long ago, I doubt even he knows.” She leaned forward and added in a hushed tone, “He once told me he’s as old as God.”

Castiel gave her an amused look. “Really? That’s... interesting.” He huffed a laugh and downed his last bit of coffee. She wasn’t sure what else to talk about, but she didn’t want the night to end yet. “Do you want to take a walk?” She let out a breath and nodded. He, _being the perfect guy that he is_ , helped her with her jacket and opened the door for her. They walked wordlessly down the steps side-by-side, and she mustered up the courage to wrap her arm around his, fitted into his elbow. He looked down at their interlaced arms with a mildly surprised expression. She thought she might have overstepped some boundaries, and was about to pull back when he just smiled and kept walking. “So, what prompted you to ask me out for coffee?”

She blushed. “I don’t know. I just thought you looked interesting, and you’re smart and easy to talk to.” She shrugged and looked over at the group of people hanging out by the quad. “You seemed different. I like that.”

He gave a half smile and kicked a rock. “I’m not interesting. I’m sorry to disappoint.”

“You’re totally interesting. Whoever says you aren’t is an idiot.” He chuckled and thanked her quietly. “Besides, I thought you might’ve been into me from the way we were dancing at Jo’s party towards the beginning of the year.”

His brow furrowed and he gave her a confused look. “Jo’s party? I remember dancing with Charlie and...” She raised her eyebrows pointedly. Realization and embarrassment spread across his face. “That was you! Oh my god.” He rubbed a hand over his face and laughed. “I was so drunk, I’m sorry. I never do that, and I didn’t remember hardly anything from that night.” She shrugged, disappointed that he didn’t even remember her when he agreed to go out. “I’m really sorry. I’m glad that you invited me out, though, because now you actually got to talk to me instead of... making me into a sandwich with another girl.” They laughed again at the thought. _I should’ve guessed he was too wasted to remember, though. As usual._

As they got closer to the large group of people, she studied them. “What are they doing?”

Castiel looked in their direction. “Drinking, obviously. And playing football.”

“So, like, drunk football? Who does that?”

He huffed a laugh. “Dean and his friends, for one.” 

“Dean’s over there? Let’s go say hey,” she said as she pulled him over towards the sidelines. She spotted Dean holding a beer, his shirt completely soaked through, talking animatedly to a larger guy she recognized as Victor. Victor nodded in their direction, and she called out, “Dean!” He turned around with a little sway to his movement and looked around. She waved and he spotted them. He smiled absently, eyes trailing down and noticing the way she and Cas were standing together. Tessa didn’t really understand why his jaw ticked or why he bit his lip and nodded at them dismissively, but it kind of hurt her feelings. Dean downed the whole bottle and tossed it aside before looking at them again as he called his team into a huddle. He pressed his lips tight and turned away. Castiel fidgeted on his feet and looked at the ground. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Couldn’t tell you if I knew,” Cas mumbled. He turned around, taking her with him, and they resumed their walk. She didn’t notice when they somehow got their arms apart and were walking a foot away from each other. They made small talk on the way back to her dormitory, she tried to make jokes and he gave her half-hearted smiles and laughs. All in all, it was a really good date from her end. When they reached the doors, they turned to face each other. “So...”

“Do you want to come up?” She asked, biting at the edge of her lip. When he didn’t immediately say yes, she panicked inwardly. _Shit, why did you ask? He probably thinks you’re a slut._

He scratched at the back of his head and smoothed the hair back down. “I actually promised my friends I would go see their... jousting thing tomorrow, as we have to leave kind of early to get there on time.” Her face fell, but she nodded understandingly. “I, uh- I had a good time, though.”

She smiled at him. “Me too. We should do this again sometime.”

He didn’t answer, but he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Castiel,” Tessa replied quietly. He smiled slightly and turned away, walking back with his hands in his pockets. She smiled to herself and went inside. _He didn’t even try to get me in bed on the first date. You really don’t see gentlemen around here anymore. What a great guy._

&&

Castiel was completely asleep when he heard the door open and slam. He heard a loud bang, followed by a “Stupid- fucking- table- _shit_.” He squinted and sat up onto his elbows. Dean saw him and flopped onto Cas’ bed on top of him. Cas groaned and laid back, unable to sit up with Dean’s dead weight on him.

“Dean-“ Castiel squeezed out. Dean chuckled and moved up the bed, somehow maneuvering the blankets so they were both under the covers. Dean was drenched in sweat and smelled like alcohol. “You’re gross. You need to shower.”

Dean squirmed on top of him and nuzzled his head into Cas’ neck. “No, I need to- I need to stay here,” he slurred. Castiel could feel the weight of Dean’s clothed erection against his bare thigh.

“Dean, what are you doing?” He moved his hands to Dean’s sides to try and move him, but Dean caught his wrists and held them above his head, pinned to the bed. He was too sleepy to even care what Dean was doing. When Dean began kissing at his throat, he let out a breathy moan. Dean began moving his hips into Cas’ slightly, rocking them together as he kissed over his neck and collarbone sloppily. “Dean-“

“Would you’ve gone out ton’t if I asked you n’to?” he asked quietly. Cas didn’t answer. “I gotta-“ he breathed hotly.

“Yeah, go ahead, Dean-“ Cas said with a nudge of his hips into Dean’s.

Dean groaned, but pulled back, kissing at Cas’ jaw. “No, I gotta- I gotta tell you something,” he whispered into his skin. “I want you.”

Cas furrowed his brow in confusion. “Yeah, Dean, I want this, too.”

Dean sighed exasperatedly, nuzzling his face further against Cas’ neck. “No, no, no, you’re not listening. I want you,” he repeated. Cas shook his head, unable to do much else under Dean’s grip and his weight. “I _want_ you. I’m not supposed to want you, Cas.”

“Dean, you’re drunk, you-“

“This _thing_ was supposed to be us- supposed to be us doing _this_ to let off some steam, right? Just two people helping each other out,” he said softly, his tone frustrated. “I could’a had any girl out there ton’t. But I didn’t. B’cause I _want_ you. Isn’t that fucked up?” he questioned rhetorically. Castiel’s chest hurt and he just wanted to go back to sleep. Dean kissed the sensitive spot on his neck, and Cas sighed, letting his eyes stay shut. “Tess wants you, but _I_ want you.”

“Dean, please,” Cas breathed. Thanks to Dean rocking up against him insistently, he now had his own erection. 

Dean kissed up his neck and up to the hollow under his ear, rubbing his nose against the lobe. “Y’know, I don’t even like girls that much. I never have a lot. But ‘don’t like guys either. I just don’t care.” Castiel swallowed thickly, keeping his eyes shut. “I jus’ want you- want you all the time.” 

“Dean-“ he choked out.

“’m not- I’m not in love with you ‘r ‘nything. Your body is,” he nuzzled in closer and ran his lips over Cas’ throat. “’s warm.” He sighed heavily. Cas let out a relieved breath. Cas could feel Dean’s eyelashes against his neck, he could feel how he was clothed all the way down to his sneakers. “I like...” he laughed against his skin, and Cas bit his lip. “I like your cock.” Castiel let out a laugh and Dean smiled against his cheek. 

When Dean was silent and unmoving except his head running back and forth over his cheek, he spoke softly. “I didn’t sleep with her, Dean.”

Dean sighed in relief. “You could’ve.” He hesitated before adding, “D’d you wan’ to?”

“Not when I have a warm body back here,” he whispered. Dean smiled again and nosed his ear.

“You callin’ me easy?” Cas chuckled and rocked his hips into Dean’s. “’nd you are too.” Finally, Dean pressed their lips together and moved so he was holding both of Cas’ wrists in one hand. Cas opened his mouth to deepen the kiss and groaned when Dean pulled his boxers down enough to pull out his cock. He stroked him three times before pulling down his shorts and freeing his own. 

“Dean,” Cas breathed, their foreheads resting together. Dean took both of their dicks in his hand and stroked slowly. He kissed over his jawline and his neck, sucking only slightly at his Adam’s apple. They rocked their hips together into the slow pumping of his hand, thumb brushing over the tips on every upstroke. He breathed hotly into his ear and onto the skin of his neck, giving Castiel goosebumps all over. Dean mouthed his name into his skin over and over and squeezed his eyes shut, rocking his hips and stroking a little faster. “ _Dean_ ,” Cas moaned, his hands clenching and unclenching around nothing. His fingers caught onto the tip of Dean’s thumb and he held onto it, the pad of his thumb pressing into one of his palms. Dean kissed him deeply again, groaning when Castiel moaned his name and came between them, followed directly after by Dean. They breathed with their mouths less than an inch apart, Dean’s hand languidly stroking them through their orgasms. Dean let go of his wrists and let his head return to its spot in Cas’ neck, his hands resting on Cas’ shoulder and his chest, his breathing returning to normal. “Dean, you need to get in your bed.”

Dean burrowed his face in further, his fingers trying to clutch onto cloth, but Cas didn’t have a shirt on, so they just clenched at nothing. “’m gonna sleep here.”

Cas sighed and rolled his eyes. _Well, if I’m the only one who isn’t drunk here, I guess it’s my job to make sure none of the rules are broken. Even if they’re unspoken._ He wiped their mess onto Dean’s already dirty shirt before wiggling underneath Dean’s dead weight and managing to slide Dean off of him, further onto his bed. He stepped off and onto the ground. Dean was already breathing evenly, moving only to hold onto Cas’ pillow and wrap himself tighter in the blanket. Cas sighed and walked over to Dean’s untouched bed, pulling out the covers and sliding in. The sheets were cold and uninviting, but they smelled like Dean. _When Dean actually smells nice and not like sweat and beer._ He watched Dean snuggle into his pillow and he sighed again. _Why do you have to make everything so damned difficult?_


	11. November 20

The room was full of noise- it was distracting. Led Zeppelin boomed from the speakers, almost overpowering the small moans from Dean, but it did nothing to lessen the volume of Cas gagging on Dean’s cock. Just music. Gagging noise. Frustrated grunt. “ _Cas..._ ” Slurp. Gag. Grunt. Cas had already come, so his mind was focusing on what he was doing wrong and trying to fix it. Dean’s hand came down and rested on the back of Cas’ head, scratching lightly at the base of his hairline. Cas noticed Dean’s way of comforting him was to scratch his scalp gently. It was reassuring 99% of the time, but now it just made him more frustrated. _How is Dean enjoying this when I can’t stop gagging?_ Cas furrowed his brow and tried to relax, continuing to bob his head. “Mm, ‘s good.”

Cas tried again. And gagged. Again. He pulled off of Dean’s cock with a wet slurp and slapped Dean’s thighs out of frustration. “Dammit!”

Dean opened his eyes and sat up on his elbows, a bewildered look on his face. “What’s wrong?”

Cas wiped the drool that had gathered over his mouth and chin. “How do you do it?”

Dean looked even more confused at the question. “Wh-? You were doing just fine, trust me. I mean-“

Cas stopped him. “No. How do you do the _thing_ that you did?” Dean raised an eyebrow and Cas rolled his eyes. “At the party. The _thing_ you did...” Dean ran his hand over his head and sighed. “I keep trying and I’m just getting here-“ he pointed to an inch above the base of Dean’s shaft, “- and then... that’s it. And you-“

Dean held up his hand. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. Uh, I just... Look.” Dean ran a hand down his throat and Cas saw it widen slightly. “You just gotta relax your throat. Not think about it.”

Cas nodded and wiped his mouth again before closing his eyes and licking his lips. _Relax. Don’t think about it._ He wrapped his lips around Dean’s cock again and swirled his tongue. He dipped his head down and started bobbing, trying to get lower. Dean let out a long breath and Cas felt him lay back down. Cas breathed in and out of his nose slowly, bracing his hands on the tops of Dean’s thighs. _You can do this._ He swallowed once before relaxing his throat and pushing his head down as far as it would go. He heard Dean give a choked off whine, arching slightly off the bed when Cas felt his nose hit wispy hairs and his lips hit flat skin. He almost smiled before he remembered the dick currently in his mouth, instead sucking hard. 

Dean arched farther off of his bed and fisted his hands in the sheets, another scream getting cut off in his throat. Cas lifted slightly before pushing back down and swallowing. Dean grunted as he came down Cas’ throat without warning. The liquid hitting the back of his throat took him by surprise and he coughed, pulling off quickly. He coughed hard, trying to clear out his throat, and come came out of his nose and mouth onto his hand. Dean was still coming, so Cas stroked him through it. “Jesus,” Cas murmured through the coughs. His throat felt uncomfortable and he had to blow out of his nose slightly to get the come out.

“Holy shit, Cas-“ Dean commented breathily, his chest heaving. He sat back up and looked at Castiel before bursting into laughter. He pressed his thumb and forefinger into the corners of his eyes. “You’re a fucking mess.”

Cas laughed and wiped his face off on his discarded shirt. He wiped the tears from his eyes and the come and spit from his chest. “Yeah, but I did it!” Dean snorted and snatched the shirt from Cas to clean up his lap and stomach. “Thank you, by the way.”

Dean frowned thoughtfully. “Uh, _no,_ thank _you_ -?” He stood up and pulled his jeans back up, putting his t shirt back on.

Castiel turned the music off, leaving the room much quieter. “I’m going to shower because this is... unsanitary.” Cas looked down at himself with disgust. He looked clean, but he could feel his skin crusting.

“That’s a good idea,” Dean replied. Cas made a face and Dean laughed awkwardly, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck.

Castiel studied his face closer. Dean wouldn’t look up at him, instead pretending to be busy with things within an arm’s reach and nibbling on his bottom lip. “Is something wrong?”

Dean looked up for a second before looking away again, kicking something on the floor. “Uh, no. It’s just- I never really thought that someone would ask- I mean... Like, I never pictured that I would be...” He gestured with his hands and pursed his lips before shaking his head. “Nevermind.” Cas nodded and made to get a clean towel. “Hey, are you doing anything for the rest of the day?”

“Not to my knowledge. Why?”

“Okay, well, I’m... failing most of my classes right now-“

“Dean!”

Dean put his hands up defensively. “I just don’t like doing homework! Hear me out, Cas. Please.” Cas took a slow breath and nodded, crossing his arms, allowing him to continue. “My professors said that if I can make up all of my work before leaving for Thanksgiving, then they won’t make the zeroes permanent. I just- I can’t make up all of the work I’m missing in... the next 10 hours.”

Cas slotted his eyes at Dean, who gave him a pleading look. He sighed and rolled his eyes. “What all do you need to make up?”

Dean smiled slightly. “A small book report on _The Scarlet Letter_ -“

“Easy enough.”

“-And an analysis of a painting from the Renaissance, some pages from the textbook for World War II studies, and two essays for Physics,” he finished quickly. Cas’ mouth hung open, too stunned to reply. Dean took a step closer and put his hands together. “ _Please_ , Cas. I can’t fail out. You know why. _Please?_ ”

Cas closed his eyes and his mouth, taking a long breath. _Dean can’t fail because then he’ll be stuck in Kansas when his brother goes to Stanford. I have nothing better to do, anyways._ “We can’t do all of that alone. See if Ash and Charlie can help, at least.” 

Dean’s expression went from pleading to blank and- after some processing- to happiness. “Really? You’ll help me?” Cas nodded. Dean grinned and threw his arms around Cas’ shoulders, pulling him in for a tight hug and knocking the breath from his lungs. Cas made a strangled noise and squirmed until Dean released him. “Sorry- uh, yeah. Thank you, man. Really, thank you.” 

Cas nodded again, returning his smile. “I’ll get a shower and stuff while you go and see if they can help.” Dean nodded and gave him a salute as he turned to leave, grabbing his phone from the desk. “Oh wait! Where’s your specific list of assignments?” 

“In my desk! Just look for it!” Dean called from the hallway before the door shut. 

Castiel decided it would be better to look at the list before his shower so he could think of a plan. He couldn’t find it in his left drawer or the larger middle one, so he looked in the far right one- _unlikely since he never goes in this drawer._ He might’ve expected an empty drawer, or some miscellaneous useless items, but what his eyes found was much different- and nothing what he ever would’ve expected. In the drawer was a _large_ box of condoms and a whole 12 oz. container of lubricant. Cas’ heart felt like it was going to jump out of his throat, and his mind raced. _When did he buy these? Why did he buy these? When did he intend on using them? Did he intend on using them? Are they for us? Are they for him and someone else? Who else is he sleeping with? Are we sleeping together? Not yet._ He gasped to himself. _Not yet? No! We’re not sleeping together- we’re just... hanging out. We’re not doing anything weird or gay or- okay. Okay, yeah it’s kind of gay. But we’re not doing_ that... Are we? His train of thought was interrupted by his phone beeping loudly, causing him to slam the drawer shut. He took a deep breath and looked at the message on his phone.

“ _I just remembered it’s in the front pocket of my bag. And I just saw that hobbit kid, Kenny or w/e. You’ll never guess what happened. Tell you when we get back._ ” Cas tossed his phone onto his bed and unzipped the front pocket of Dean’s backpack. Sure enough, there was a folded up piece of paper that he found to be a list of assignments. Cas’ heart was still racing, but he forced himself to walk away from it. Maybe if he ignored the problem, it would just go away.

&&

Dean had called Charlie as soon as he left the dorm, and she agreed to meet him at the quad so they could go to Ash’s place together since it was farther away. He’d tried to call Ash’s cell phone for the past ten minutes, but he wasn’t answering, so he figured it couldn’t hurt to just show up. He saw that _God awful_ bright yellow jacket and long red hair from across the quad and picked up speed to get to Charlie. He called to her and she turned around expectantly. “Sir Winchester!”

He grinned and gave her a bow. “Your Highness.” She smiled in return and curtseyed with a tip of her head. “Thanks for agreeing to help. Is Jo working tonight or something?”

They started walking to the off-set apartments, both of them shoving their hands in their pockets. “I just couldn’t come up with a good excuse to say no,” she teased. Dean elbowed her and she laughed. “It’s no problem. And yeah, she had to go in super early. Working till close, too.” Dean nodded. “So, how far behind are you exactly?”

“Just homework assignments. For three different classes. Cas said he would take care of the book report, and then I have two Physics essays, an analysis of a Renaissance piece of art or whatever, and then some textbook shit for World War II studies.”

“Bummer,” Charlie added simply. Dean nodded. _Obviously._ “I think I could probably get that art analysis done in no time. Maybe one of the Physics essays depending on time and stuff. Speaking of time: what are we working with?”

Dean pulled out his phone and checked the time. “It’s, like, four right now. I need to turn them in before ten tomorrow.”

“I feel like I should remind you before Cas does: this is cheating. Like, for realsies. We could all get in a lot of trouble.”

They approached Ash’s apartment building and Dean turned to face her. “I know. That’s why I’m grateful to have such great-“ Charlie gave him a look and he gave her a big cheesy smile. “-great and beautiful and wonderful and magnificent friends who are so beautiful and awesome for helping me out?” 

Charlie pursed her lips and pretended to think it over. “You are a master of flattery, Sir. Besides, I like rebelling against the system anyways.” They approached the door to Ash’s apartment and she knocked on the door. “Housekeeping!” There was no immediate answer and Charlie scratched her head. “Or not?”

Dean pounded his fist on the door. If Ash wouldn’t answer to that, he wasn’t home. “Hey, Dr. Badass!”

There was a loud thump followed by a louder groan before the doorknob turned. Ash poked his head through the door and a faint cloud of smoke rolled out of the open space. Dean swatted the smoke out of his face. “Charlie? Dean? Charlie and Dean.”

“I’ve been calling you all day, man. Why didn’t you pick up?” Dean asked.

Ash gave a small laugh and blinked slowly. “I don’t know where my phone is. What’s up?”

“We need your help,” Charlie offered. “Well, Dean needs your help, really-“ Dean slotted his eyes at her and she stopped, grinning.

“I’ve got a ton of work I have to make up by tomorrow and I need all the help I can get,” Dean told him, turning away from Charlie.

Ash smiled. “Well, hell then. Guess I need my pants.”

&&

Cas was trying his hardest not to overthink anything or freak out because that was really the last thing they needed right now. He changed into a comfortable outfit and got his laptop out, settling himself on his bed and opening a new Word document. He put on his glasses and started typing. _The Scarlet Letter: An Analysis By Dean Winchester_. Cas chuckled inwardly; he was not confident they could pull this off in the slightest, but he had to try. Looking back on the requirements sheet, the analysis was supposed to be eight pages, single-spaced, and discussing the connection to modern society. Cas sighed and started typing, trying his best to distract himself from the tiny voice in the back of his head that just won’t drop what he saw earlier.

The door opens and three loud voices boom in at once. “I cannot believe you honestly think Spock and Uhura is better than Kirk and Uhura!” And that’s definitely Dean’s typical argument.

“Kirk and Uhura never hooked up, man,” Ash replied, calmer than Dean. Charlie and Dean both gave him identical skeptical looks and Cas chuckled.

“What are you even talking about? Did you not watch the original series?” Dean asked, taking out a textbook from his backpack. Charlie waved to Cas and took a seat at his desk, both of them listening to the debate.

“There was a series?” 

“Dude!” Charlie and Dean exclaimed at once. Cas laughed and Ash just shrugged. Dean shook his head and threw up his hands in defeat. “I’m out.”

“Well, I think we all know Kirk and Spock are the ultimate couple anyways,” Charlie mentioned.

Dean raised an eyebrow at her as he handed her the list of assignments. “But they’re... They’re just friends.”

Cas gulped and willed himself not to look at Dean because surely he was just talking about Star Trek. _Nothing to do with us. Nope, not one bit._ “How could anyone look at Kirk and Spock and say they’re ‘ _just friends_ ’? Because they’re two guys? _Please!_ Love transcends gender... And species and/or planetary origin.”

Cas smiled inwardly and returned his focus to the report. “Yeah, I guess you have a point. But still, just because two guys are super close and enjoy each other’s company and stuff doesn’t mean they’re more than friends, right?” he heard Dean ask.

Charlie sighed and started labeling her piece of paper. “You can tell just by how they interact they’re doing the horizontal mambo. That, or they have serious unresolved sexual tension and they’re going to do the dance eventually.”

“Even if they were hooking up, it doesn’t mean they love each other or something, like, maybe it’s not like that. Maybe the Enterprise gets lonely or something and they would rather get with each other physically than work to get with the ladies and stuff,” Dean rushed out. _Way to be subtle, Dean._ Cas glared at him, but Dean evaded looking at him.

“Yeah, okay, man. Whatever you say,” Charlie yielded with a small smile. “So, won’t these professors know what is and isn’t your handwriting?”

“Uh, I haven’t exactly turned anything in for them to know what my handwriting looks like,” Dean admitted hesitantly. Cas shook his head again. “But maybe just sloppy it up a little bit for good measure.” Charlie saluted him and went to flipping through the art pieces in the book. “Ash, you’re good with the physics stuff? That’s not too much to ask of you, is it? If it is-“

Ash held up his hand and put his feet on top of Dean’s desk. “Under control.”

_Red: clothing items of this color were discouraged from being worn because they suggested-_ “And, Cas, you’re on top of things, right?” _Wait- what?_

Cas perked his head up. _On top of things? Is this some sort of joke? He has to know that I know. And- wait. On top? Does he want me to top? Is he asking if I’m on top because he wants to be on top? Is he questioning my topping abilities? I’m a top. Maybe I could be a bottom... Why am I even considering this when I know that it’s-_ “Huh?”

“I said: you’re on top of it, right? The book report?” Dean clarified slowly.

Cas let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Yes, of course. Not a problem.” He tried to give Dean a reassuring smile that probably came off as weak, but the smile Dean gave him in return made his stomach twist into a knot and he looked away. He was going to have a long night, stewing in his thoughts over what’s to come- whether a line is bound to be crossed or not. _Not. A. Problem._

&&

Over the course of the last two hours, Dean had migrated to the floor, his back to Cas’ bed and knees brought up to prop up his history book. Cas was still on his bed- _hasn’t moved to said anything for some reason_ \- working diligently. Charlie was on Dean’s bed now, laying on her stomach and writing every now and then. Ash was typing away quickly on the computer, pausing only to crack his knuckles, his neck, and his back. _Describe the living conditions in Auschwitz._ Dean sighed and put his book down. He stood up and yawned, stretching and cracking his back. He flopped down onto Cas’ bed beside him and put his hands behind his head. Cas turned around quickly and stared at him in startled confusion. “What?”

“What are you doing?” Cas snapped, turning so they were back-to-the-wall instead of Cas having his back to Dean. If he wasn’t mistaken, Cas scooted away from him slightly. 

“Taking a break. What’s got your panties in a bunch?” 

There was a crick in Dean’s back and he arched his back to stretch it out. He noticed Cas’ eyes travel from Dean’s face to his stomach, lingering on where Dean could feel his shirt had risen up. Cas’ brow furrowed and his tongue darted out of his mouth. Dean sat up on his elbows and fixed his shirt with a small cough to clear his throat. Cas quickly tore his eyes away. “Nothing, we just need to work, is all.” He brought the computer back to his lap and stretched his back out, rubbing his neck.

Instinctually, Dean reached up and rubbed the top of his back with one hand before using that thumb to massage the top of his spine. Cas stiffened at first, but sighed and leaned into his hand. He closed his eyes and let his head hang. Dean squeezed Cas’ shoulder a little more and massaged with his fingers. Cas let out a small contented moan and Dean bit his lip in concentration. “Are we about to start up this massage train or should we leave you two alone?” Ash asked, bringing them out of the moment. Cas stiffened and sat upright.

Dean cleared his throat and stopped massaging, rubbing Cas’ back for a second and patting it before sitting up. “Just trying to get Cas to realize he needs a break, too.” He walked over and sat against Cas’ desk, crossing his arms.

“I second the break notion,” Charlie voiced, sitting up on her knees and yawning. “How far have you gotten?”

“I finished, like, the first two pages of questions. I’ve probably got another two or three to go,” Dean replied with a sigh.

“I’ve got... three and a half pages typed up,” Cas added, laying down and stretching out his legs. Dean avoided the urge to jump on top of him. _Seriously, when did this become such a habit?_

“I finished the first essay; I’m probably a quarter of the way through the second one. I estimate another two hours and I can finish this baby up.”

“ _Damn_ , how are you so fucking smart?” Dean asked Ash. Ash just shrugged and leaned back in his chair. “Anyone else want pizza? I’ll buy.”

“Yes, _please_!” Charlie agreed, standing up and excusing herself into the bathroom. “I like cheese pizza!”

“What about you, Ash?” 

“I’m good with cheese, man. Anything’s good as long as it’s food,” he replied.

“Alright, so y’all are eating the cheese pizza, meatlovers for us, and we’re all set,” Dean said with a clap of his hands. He pulled out his phone and dialed the number for the pizza company. He ordered the pizzas and hung up.

“You didn’t ask Castiel what he wanted?” Charlie asked as she came out of the bathroom and bounced back onto Dean’s bed, testing the springs.

He looked at Cas who just shrugged. “He likes meatlovers. I didn’t really _need_ to ask.”

“Yeah, he orders for me all the time,” Castiel replied, scooting up to his pillow and putting one arm behind his head and one on his stomach, his legs falling open. Dean felt his gaze lingering a little too long and he shook his head. _Stop fucking doing that. There are people here._

“That’s cute- little lovebirds know each other so well you can order for each other,” Charlie cooed with a teasing grin. Cas snorted and threw a pillow at her. “Hey-!”

“ _Friends_ know each other very well and know their eating habits,” Cas corrected. _I just don’t see why we still have to correct people- why are they mistaking us for anything more than friends anyways? We’ve never given them any reason to think we had feelings or whatever for each other._

They made small talk while they waited for the pizza. Cas had started typing absently in the essay, still continuing his side of the conversation. Dean wasn’t worried about it. If anything, Cas not paying full attention would help make his paper more believable. _He’s such a good friend. Cas is the chillest dude ever; I don’t deserve such a good friend. Someone who would sacrifice everything for his friends’ happiness. It’s fucking ridiculous._ Dean sighed.

When the pizza arrived, they all sat together on the floor around the pizza and soda. Dean and Castiel sat next to Cas’ bed, Charlie and Ash across from them. “Your pizza, sir,” Dean said as he handed Cas the first slice of pizza.

“Thank you,” Cas replied, stuffing a big bite into his mouth. He made a pained expression and held his mouth open helplessly. Dean smirked at him and Cas covered a hand over his mouth. “’s hot.”

Dean rolled his eyes and took a bite from his pizza. “Thank you, guys- seriously. I don’t know what-“

Charlie held up her hand. “Stop. We’re happy to help.”

“Yeah, man, staying on top of everything can be hard. Friends help friends out, right?” Ash added.

Cas choked on his pizza for a second and Dean glanced over to make sure he was okay. Cas nodded and stuck up his hand dismissively. “Couldn’t agree more,” Dean replied, returning to the conversation. 

“Oh, didn’t you say that you saw Kevin?” Cas asked after he swallowed his bite of food.

“Yeah! Holy shit, this kid is... like, Meg soiled him,” Dean tried to talk through his laughter at the memory. Granted, he’d only seen or met him once, but anyone could tell Kevin was a straight-laced kid. “Okay, he was in these raggedy-ass jeans, topless and barefoot, hair all over the place and even a beard growing in-“

“No!” Charlie gasped in amusement.

Dean took a bite from his pizza and nodded. “He totally did! He was in a big group of those hackey sack hippies and he looked blazed as shit. I don’t know what happened that night, but he’s definitely not the nerd boy anymore.”

“Little Tran became a man,” Ash mumbled with a big grin on his face. 

“He became somethin’ alright,” Dean added.

“I don’t think Meg did that to him, I mean...” Cas gestured to himself. “I came out fine and I spent more than one night with her.”

“Yeah, but were you really that good to begin with?” Dean teased. Cas’ face fell and he furrowed his brow, returning his attention to the food. Dean shook his head, disregarding it.

Charlie finished off her second piece of pizza and reached for another. “So what’s everyone doing for Thanksgiving?”

“Drivin’ back to Lawrence tomorrow after I turn this shit in. Just gonna hang out with Sammy, play some football with some old friends from high school. My mom ain’t doin’ so hot, so I’ll probably be taking over the cooking.”

“What’s wrong with your mom?” Charlie asked before blurting “Unless that’s private- I’m not trying to be nosey. Oh God, I’m sorry- just-“

Dean stopped her. “Chill, it’s fine. She, uh, she was diagnosed with breast cancer my junior year of high school. They removed the lump, but even though they kept a close eye on her, they thought it was returning last year. The doctors had to do a double mastectomy just to make sure. Lessened her risk to, like, 10%, but her medicine makes her sick sometimes and it gets hard to do work around the house and stuff. But, you know, she’s getting better, so I can’t complain too much.” He took a long drink from his soda when he felt his throat go dry. He closed his eyes and rubbed a hand over his mouth. He felt Cas rub a hand on his back comfortingly. Glancing over, he caught Cas’ reassuring smile and he squeezed Dean’s shoulder. He and Cas had already had this talk a long time ago. It was actually one of the reasons he knew he could find a best friend in Castiel.

“I’m so sorry, Dean,” Charlie said quietly. Dean nodded in thanks. “I remember when my mom got into a really bad car accident and ended up in a coma for seven months. The uncertainty of whether or not...” her voice cracked and she cleared her throat. “It, uh- it sucks. So, I’m here for you.” Ash nodded in agreement.

“Thanks, guys. So, yeah- what about you, Dr. Badass?”

“I go to Jo’s pad for every holiday. Ellen kinda took me in- Mama Bear and her cubs, ya know?” Dean already knew his story- single mom who was in and out of prison for most of his childhood, spent all of his time reading and studying- and was a total child prodigy. He even got into MIT, but he transferred after a semester because it wasn’t his “scene.”

“Oh yeah, and you’ll be having three more guests this year,” Charlie said, beaming. Dean and Cas gave her a questioning look and she continued. “My parents and I are coming up from San Diego and we’re spending Thanksgiving with you guys. So my parents can meet Jo, Ellen and Rufus, and so Jo can meet my parents,” she said giddily. She smiled so wide she squealed a little and they laughed.

“That’s great, Charlie. They’re gonna love you- and I’m positive your parents are going to love her,” Cas voiced with a warm smile.

“Well, _duh_ \- who wouldn’t love her? _Swoon_.”

Dean threw a piece of hamburger meat at her and made a disgusted face. “Your love sickens me.”

They laughed and Ash brought the subject back. “What about you? Got a whole family of blue eyes and strong jaw lines or were you just created in a lab or something?”

Dean turned his attention to Cas, who looked like a deer in the headlights. “Me?” he asked with a mouth full of food. They all nodded and he swallowed, pushing his glasses up higher on his nose. “Uh, not really. And not really doing anything out of the ordinary, I suppose.”

“ _Like_?” Charlie insisted.

“Just, erm... Just hanging out, I guess. Really, guys, I’m nothing special,” Cas replied dismissively. Dean knew there was a lot Cas kept to himself- stuff he wouldn’t even tell Dean- and his family was probably the biggest of those things. Dean knew better than to push him to talk about it. Instead, he just nodded and smiled, at which Cas flinched and huffed a laugh. _Why the hell is he so jumpy today?_

“That does not clear anything up, but I think it’s time we get back to work,” Ash said with a clap of his hands. Dean checked the clock on his phone and noticed it was already past seven.

Dean sighed. “Yeah. I’ll clean up this mess and we’ll hopefully wrap this shit up.”

“Onward to victory!” Charlie declared dramatically as she hopped back onto the bed. Cas laughed and shook his head as he crawled back onto his bed. He leaned his back against the headboard, drawing his knees up and putting his computer on his lap.

When Dean got back from the trash chute, he got his textbook and settled at the end of Cas’ bed with his back to the wall. Dean half-expected Cas to give him a look or scoot away like he had earlier, but Cas just smiled and fixed his glasses before giving the paper his full attention. Whatever was bothering Cas earlier had passed by now, and Dean smiled inwardly. For some reason, knowing Cas wasn’t upset with him made him a little bit happier.

&&

“Done!” Ash shouted, pumping his fists in the air. Castiel still had half of a page left to write, but it’s just the conclusion and it won’t take long.

“Me too!” Charlie whooped and sat up on the bed and stretched. “What about you, Cas?”

“Just a little bit more,” he replied, chewing on his bottom lip and focused entirely on the report.

“Alright just a... few more...” Dean scribbled fast on his paper before slamming his pencil down. “And done! Thank fucking God, man. I feel like we’ve been working all day.”

A quick glance to the corner of his laptop screen told Castiel it was already nearing on ten o’clock. “Approximately five hours,” he mumbled. “And some of us are still working.”

“Oh yeah, shhh,” Dean held up a finger to his mouth as he stood up. “Come on. There’s no need to keep you guys stuffed up in here anymore. You’re free to go.”

“I’m so tired I think I never want to come back to school,” Charlie said with a yawn.

“Man, you guys are wimps. I kicked those essays’ asses,” Ash bragged with a grin.

Cas could feel Dean watching him closely to measure how bothered he was by them talking, but Cas was too focused on finishing the paper. “Come on, guys.” Dean walked them out the door and stood at the door way while they left. “Thank y’all again. I owe you big time.”

“Damn right you do,” Charlie replied with a finger pointed at Dean. She laughed and turned to Castiel. “Bye, Cas! Have a good time wherever you’re going.”

“Bye, Charlie. Have a good time at Jo’s,” he replied with a quick wave.

“Make sure you text me!” 

“I will. _Goodnight_ , Charlie,” he dismissed with a teasing look from over the rim of his glasses. She flipped him the bird and he laughed. When she and Ash walked off, Dean shut the door and sighed, gathering all of his work together. _-and it still remains a very important moral in today’s society._ “Done.”

“Awesome. Thank you, man. You’re the _best_ ,” Dean thanked with a huge smile. 

“I’m aware,” Cas teased quietly. He took his glasses off and set them on his desk. He stretched his back before laying on his stomach with his hands under his face and shutting his eyes. “You can email that file to your teacher so long as you remember to use your email address instead of mine,” he mumbled with a yawn.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m doing. Hey- don’t go to sleep on me now.”

“I’m just resting my eyes.” Dean snorted sarcastically from wherever he was in the room. Castiel was actually calm. He’d been thinking about the possibilities of _whatever_ happening, and he started to accept it as an inevitability. _Maybe it’s just time. Maybe my finding his stuff was just the universe’s way of speeding things along._ What he still didn’t have planned was who would _you know_ and who would _do the other thing._ He hoped they would just fall into place when it happened, and he didn’t want to dwell on it too much or else suffer another panic attack because of his obsessive over-thinking everything.

“Alright, everything is done now,” Dean mumbled to himself. Cas sighed in response, too tired to really say anything or move from his position on his stomach. He felt the bed sag next to him and he opened his eyes enough to see Dean climbing onto his bed and straddling the backs of his thighs. He started to move to maybe roll over or something, but Dean just put his hand flat on his back and pressed down just hard enough to make him stay. “Go back to what you were doing.”

“Okay,” he replies questioningly. Dean shifted lower on Cas’ legs and moved both of his hands to the part of Cas’ shoulders next to his neck, kneading his muscles. _Fuck_ , he didn’t realize he was so tense until Dean had started massaging him. He let out a small moan and pressed his face flat down onto the bed. Dean chuckled under his breath and used his thumbs to massage harder in small circles. “Mm, is this your way of making it up to me?”

“Could be.” Dean moved his hands further away from his neck and closer to the outside of his shoulders, kneading the different muscles.

“That is fine by me,” he replied with a small smile dancing on his lips. Dean laughed again and moved his hands down on Cas’ back, focusing on the outsides of his middle. His ribcage has always been sensitive and a whimper escapes him, his slowly-growing erection making him squirm under Dean’s weight. “You’re really good at that.”

“I know.” Cas scoffed and Dean dug his fingers into his ribcage, earning him a small yelp and wiggle. “Ticklish.”

“Shut up.” Dean moved his hands to right outside of Cas’ spine, pressing his fingers into the muscles of his back and rubbing his thumbs in circles over his spine. He moaned again and Dean removed one of his hands to reach behind him and grab the remote to the stereo. _I really need to work on my volume. Loud enough to necessitate music already? I’m practically a paid whore._ He laughed humorlessly at himself.

“I’m just taking precautions.” Dean moved his hands to Cas’ lower back above his ass and started massaging the sensitive skin. His hands were big enough to cover the entire space, from his spine to his hip bones. _Fuck, that’s hot. –No it isn’t, Castiel. Shut up._ Dean leaned over his back while still working his hands. He breathed hot over the side of Cas’ neck and pressed a small kiss to the end point of his jaw and Cas shuddered. “I want you to get loud tonight, Cas.” Cas whimpered inwardly, keeping his eyes shut. Dean dug his fingers harder into his hips, and Cas could feel Dean’s erection pressing into his ass. Dean kissed the knob of his spine and planted more on the way to the side of his neck and behind Cas’ ear. He nibbled on the lobe of his ear, eliciting a breathy moan from Cas’ lips. He kissed more insistently, working his hands harder. “Wanna take you apart piece by piece. Wanna make you scream my name, Cas,” Dean whispered into his ear, running his lip over the outer shell of it.

By this point, Cas was practically rubbing himself off on the bed, hips moving of their own accord. When he heard Dean whisper in his ear and breathe on his neck, he groaned. “Dean, please,” he whispered. Dean lifted up, giving Cas enough room to sit up on his knees before Dean was on him again. He reached around Cas and grabbed onto his inner thigh with one hand, wrapped under his arm and over his chest with the other, holding him up and pressing them flush together. Cas keened, ass pressed firmly against Dean’s slowly rocking hips. They were both very much clothed, but that wasn’t stopping anything. Dean kept kissing his neck and the sensitive skin where his neck met his shoulder, hand that was on his thigh moving up to his groin. He pressed his palm flat against Castiel’s bulge and kneaded down, fingers under the seam of his jeans and pressing into his balls. “ _Fuck!_ ”

Dean smiled against his neck. “That’s more like it,” he murmured. He moved the hand that rested against Cas’ chest down and under the hem of his shirt. Dean’s warm hands found Cas’ abs and he felt his muscles quiver under it. Dean nipped down on the skin of his neck and moved his hand up to his chest and rubbed one of his nipples. Cas bit down on his lip and squeezed his eyes shut, his head falling back onto Dean’s shoulder. He gripped helplessly at Dean’s forearms. Dean kissed up his neck and skimmed his teeth over Cas’ jaw before kissing the point again and nibbling on his ear.

“ _Dean_ \- De- _Shit_ , Dean, I-“ Cas bit off another groan when Dean’s hip grinded especially hard against his ass, his hand pressing even firmer against his bulge. “I want-“

“I know what you want, Cas,” Dean whispered. Quickly he maneuvered Cas onto his stomach again and flipped him onto his back. He leaned down and _finally_ pressed their lips together.

Cas kissed back eagerly, his hands fisting in the front of Dean’s shirt and pulling him in tighter. _Does he really know what I want? **Do** I want it?_ Dean’s hands found the front of his jeans and Cas’ hips bucked up. Dean smiled into the kiss and licked into his mouth insistently. Dean unbuttoned his jeans and pushed the zipper down before moving to the hem of his shirt and tugging upwards enough to get it over Cas’ chest. He moved his kisses from Cas’ mouth quickly down to his chest, his whole body moving down to accommodate. He licked over to Cas’ nipple and grazed his teeth over it before taking it into his mouth. Cas’ chest lifted helplessly and he held onto the sides of Dean’s shirt at his shoulders. “ _Fuck_ fuckfuckfuck,” he chanted. He finally opened his eyes to look down at Dean who had his eyes closed, focusing on Cas’ body. He worried the nipple under his tongue before switching to the other one and doing the same thing. Castiel was moaning and squirming beneath him. “Dean, please, I wanna- I-“

Dean shushed him and kissed down his abs, shucking down his jeans and underwear. “This what you want, Cas?” he murmured into Cas’ stomach right above his cock. 

When Dean pressed wet kisses to his dick, he wanted more than anything to say yes and let Dean blow him, but he had an idea in his head. For the life of him, Castiel will never understand why he said “N-no.”

It took a few seconds for Dean to process what he said and he stopped. Cas looked down at him to explain, but Dean’s face looked half-confused and half-hurt. “No? You don’t-?” Cas groaned and covered his face with his hands. _God, this is embarrassing. I never wanted to bring this up. Why didn’t you say ‘yes’? You fucking idiot!_ “C-Cas, if you don’t want- I- you-“

“That’s not what I meant,” he groaned under his hands. He felt like his chest was gonna cave in. “I want-“ Cas sighed and removed his hands, sitting up onto his elbows and looking at Dean pleadingly.

Dean just met him with a bewildered expression. “I don’t understand what you want from me, Cas.”

Cas flopped back onto his back and threw his arm over his face. “You said- okay. Okay. When we... agreed to this, we said-“ He groaned. _Fuck, why am I doing this?_ “We said that we can say what we want honestly, right?”

He opened his eyes and looked down at Dean who was still two inches away from his dick, lying between his legs. “Yeah. Why? What do you want?”

“I want to...” Castiel licked his lips and nibbled on his bottom lip. “ _Do_ \- uh... _it_.”

Dean looked even more confused. “We _are_ -?”

Cas sighed again and rolled his eyes. “No, like... _for real._ ” He raised his eyebrows and looked at him pleadingly. _Please don’t make me say it._ Suddenly, realization spread across Dean’s face and he looked... scared? He gulped. _Please don’t be mad._ “B-but we also said no pressure to do stuff we don’t want, right? S-so, it’s okay. Nevermind- yeah, nevermind, just-“

“Cas, do you really want to?” he asked evenly. Dean’s fingers lightly scratched over his hips absently. 

Cas considered it. _Do I?_ He bit down on his lip and took a deep breath before nodding. “Yeah, I think I do.”

A smile played at the corners of Dean’s lips and Castiel really wasn’t sure how he felt about the suggestion until he surged up and connected their lips again. Dean kissed him hard and Cas moved his hands to cup Dean’s jaw, kissing back eagerly. “I think I do, too,” he whispered between kisses. “Okay-“ He quickly stood up and went to his desk. Cas got up off his bed and tore off his shirt before shucking his pants and underwear off the rest of the way. “I’ve got-“ Dean turned around and looked at Cas, who was just standing around helplessly and completely nude, his fingers clenching and unclenching at his sides. He felt like his heart was going to beat right out of his mouth, and he didn’t understand it. He and Dean had been fucking around for quite a long time now, and they’ve seen each other naked even more times than that. And yet, he felt like he was more nervous than he’d ever been before. Dean licked his lips again before nodding for some reason and putting the condoms and lube down. 

Cas watched as Dean undressed in front of him, slowly and hesitantly removing each article of clothing- his t shirt, belt, jeans, and his boxers. Cas swallowed thickly and they just looked at each other for what felt like an eternity. This was taking that next step: crossing a boundary they didn’t even realize they’d set. _Straight guys might lend each other a hand or a mouth every now and then, but... this? This is fucking. And someone’s not going to be playing the straight guy part._ Cas shook the thought out of his head. _Who gives a fuck about sexuality, it’s still just friends helping each other out. Just a little bit more... intense._ He nodded at Dean and Dean took that as a cue to grab the items and cross the room, putting them down on the bed before pressing up against Cas and kissing him again. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’ waist and let his hands roam his back. Cas pressed his hips forward and wrapped his arms around Dean’s shoulders, fingers in the back of Dean’s hair and bringing their mouths closer. 

“Are we doing this?” Cas breathed into the kiss. Dean squeezed him tighter and kissed him again before resting their foreheads together and nodding hesitantly. They both breathed together, neither wanting to be the first to move again. “We need to decide who is- erm. Who is-“ he cleared this throat and brought their heads apart so he could judge Dean’s expression.

“You mean who’s the...” Dean’s voice trailed off and Cas nodded, unsure. Dean’s expression was undeniably afraid and he sputtered. “I c- I can’t- We- I’m-“ He shook his head and pressed his lips tight together, visibly having trouble breathing.

Cas shushed him and brought his hands to the sides of Dean’s face. “I- I can. I can, um- be the-“

Dean blinked rapidly and licked his lips, brow still tight. “Are you sure?”

_Dean can’t do this. I can’t ask it of him, but... I can do it. I can do this._ Cas nodded quickly. Dean let out a deep breath and Cas kissed him again, slower and more thorough. Dean moaned and moved his hands to the back of his thighs and lifted him up and sitting him down on the bed. They broke apart and Cas scooted back, getting on his knees and turning to face the top of his bed. He felt Dean climb onto the bed behind him and he moved his pillow to the floor. _Just in case._ Dean crawled closer to him and Cas felt suddenly unsure of how he was supposed to be positioned. “Uh- how am I supposed to _be_ right now?” He heard Dean chuckle under his breath before his hand went to Cas’ back and pushed forward slightly. Cas leaned over- he decided to hold onto the top of the headboard instead of going onto all fours- until Dean’s hand moved to his thighs and spread his knees wider. Castiel felt air in places he really didn’t know if he wanted air, and he felt exposed. He heard the cap of the lube cracking open before clicking closed again. His heart jumped. “Do you- do you know how-?”

Dean’s dry hand came to Cas’ back and he rubbed up and down his spine slowly. “Yeah, I know what to do, Cas,” he whispered. “I’m not gonna hurt you.” Cas closed his eyes and relaxed, letting out a long, measured breath. “And you’re sure you want to do this?” Castiel nodded and Dean’s other hand came between his cheeks, lube-slicked fingers slowly running over his hole.

“ _Oh my God,_ ” Cas whimpered immediately, stomach twisting in a knot and his fingers tightening on the headboard. Dean shushed him quietly, rubbing his hand even slower on his back before coming up into the back of Cas’ hair and scratching lightly. He sighed and Dean’s fingers pressed down more firmly, but not too much. “You can... I’m ready,” he assured Dean quietly. Slowly, one finger pressed into his hole, only up to the first knuckle. Cas whimpered and bit down on his lip. Dean slid it out slowly before pushing it back in to the same knuckle, at the same pace. He repeated this a few times before pressing in to the second knuckle. _Fuck, Dean’s got big fingers. Or I’m a wimp._

“How you doin’, Cas?” Dean asked quietly, barely audible over the music. They started just positioning the speakers to the door so they could hear each other, but people outside only heard the music. He scratched lightly at the back of Cas’ scalp again before moving his finger quicker, still only up to the second knuckle. “Talk to me.”

“I’m- go all the way.” Dean did as Cas requested, first finger fully sheathing in his ass and Cas moaned loudly. Dean rubbed his back and massaged at the back of his neck. “It was- was tight and burned at f- mm. _Fuck._ Burned at first, but- but I’m good. K-keep going.”

“How ‘bout you tell me what to do? So we’re moving at your pace.”

Cas nodded, letting his head hang. _It feels good, I think. Is it supposed to feel good? I guess if-_ “Fuck!” Dean’s finger found something inside of him that made him throw his head back and his eyes shot open. “ _Dean_! That- do that again.” Dean’s finger quickened and hit that spot again and his back arched under Dean’s other hand, a loud moan escaping from the back of his throat. “That’s- _oh my God!_ That’s surprising,” he breathed.

“ _That_ is your prostate,” Dean informed him. He could feel the smug smile on Dean’s lips, but this suddenly became very enjoyable and he didn’t care enough to get him to stop being cocky.

“Okay, add another.” Dean’s second finger pressed into his hole next to the other and they stopped at the first knuckle, again going in that slow pattern. The burn increased a little, but it was tolerable. Dean’s fingers pulled out slightly before going back in to the first knuckle. “Same place, but faster,” Cas instructed. The two fingers increased speed, still not going in too deep. “Okay, more.” Slower, Dean pressed forward to the second knuckle. His fingers moved and slid past one another and Cas yelped. “What’s that?”

“I gotta start scissoring, but I don’t want to overstretch you. This comes first,” Dean told him. He moved his free hand up and down Cas’ flank slowly before returning to his back.

“It feels... strange, but good,” Castiel observed. Dean breathed a laugh and twisted his fingers at the second knuckle before pulling out and moving back in to the same place, and repeating the movement and quickening speed. “ _Fuck, Dean._ More.” Dean fully sheathed both fingers and Cas’ back arched, hips slowly pressing back onto Dean’s hand, groaning. Cas moved his hips forward slowly- and taking the silent cue, Dean kept his hand still- before rocking back. “That’s good.”

Dean groaned behind him and the hand on the back of Cas’ neck tightened only slightly. “Yeah, Cas, just like that.”

Cas rolled his hips a little quicker, not too much, but enough to get him whimpering and breathing heavy. “Do that one thing you were doing.” Dean slid and twisted his fingers, still staying in place. “ _Fuck_ , yeah. And you said-“ Understanding, Dean opened his fingers when Cas was sliding forward, stretching him more and giving him a pleasant burn. “Wow!” Cas breathed.

Dean laughed quietly. “You like that, Cas? Want me to hit your spot again?”

Cas nodded quickly, way more eager than he intended. Dean’s fingers shot forward and Cas screamed, back arching almost painfully. “Yeah! Shit, that’s so good, Dean.” He slapped the headboard and grabbed on harder. He let Dean move his hand in and out of him, scissoring and stretching quickly. “Can we-?”

“My dick’s bigger than two fingers, Cas. At least let me use another finger first,” Dean insisted. 

Cas sighed and nodded. _Who gave Dean the right to be this caring in bed? First he wants to suck my cock and now he’s-_ Dean pressed three fingers inside of him straight to the second knuckle on the first try. “Holy-! _Dean!_ ” Cas would’ve protested if it didn’t feel so _fucking amazing._

Dean leaned in closer and kissed at his back and his neck. “You like that? Wanna fuck you so bad, Cas- so _goddamn_ bad- but I don’t wanna hurt you,” Dean rambled against his skin. He bit down on Cas’ shoulder and Cas’ hips surged back at the same time Dean’s fingers were pressing forward, all three fingers fully sheathing inside of him.

“Hu-hurry- _Ah!_ Hurry!” Cas chanted, pressing his hips back. It was so good, but it wasn’t enough to take him over the edge, so he could hold off. Dean scissored all three fingers and fucked them into Cas’ hole like he was born to do it. “I’m ready- _please_ , just come on.” When Dean slid his fingers out, Cas let himself catch his breath and think of other things to make this last longer. _Baseball. Baseball? Why am I thinking about baseball? Joan Rivers. Ew. Ew! Ew, stop! You’ll go soft if you keep thinking about her. Go back to baseball._ He heard the snap of a condom and the cracking of the lube bottle again and his heart skipped. _This is actually happening. Dean’s going to fuck me. Dean and I are going to be fucking. Holy shit-!_ “Dean-?”

Dean returned to his spot behind him and he kissed Cas’ back. “Yeah?” Dean’s lube-covered cock slid where his fingers were previously and nudged at his hole, but not pushing.

“This is okay, right?” He’s not really sure what he’s asking, and he’s not sure if Dean understands either, but he needed to ask.

Dean breathed against his skin before kissing it again. “Yeah. It’s okay,” he whispered.

Cas nodded to himself. “Do it.” Placing a hand on Cas’ hip, Dean guided his cock into Castiel’s ass and pulled Cas’ hips back slowly until he was fully sheathed. 

They stayed still and breathed for a while until Dean asked, “How does it feel?” His tone was completely curious, not really dirty talking like he was earlier.

Cas winced at the new burning sensation. It was more than three fingers, but it wasn’t awful. “It’s... It’s big,” he replied simply. Dean rubbed his face against Cas’ spine and laughed breathlessly. Cas snorted inwardly. “How does it feel for you?”

“Hot... and tight.” _Tight?_ Cas tried to give his hole an experimental clench and Dean’s breath was knocked out of him, sending his torso falling and colliding onto Cas’ back. “You’re such an asshole!” He reached up and twisted one of Cas’ nipples, earning a half-laugh-half-moan from him. Dean laughed and kept his chest to Cas’ back.

“I can feel your cock vibrate when you laugh,” Cas muttered with a smile. He laughed to himself. “Oh my god.”

“I can feel your heartbeat,” Dean replied. They shook with silent laughter until they stilled again, just slightly swaying together. “Is it too weird?”

“No, it’s... It’s good. You can... You can fuck me, Dean,” he breathed. 

Dean nodded and straightened up, pulling his hips back slowly until only the tip of his cock was in. A little quicker, he pushed back in, both of them groaning. “ _Cas_ ,” Dean breathed. Cas sighed.

He kept up this slow pace, only speeding up somewhat until Cas was trying to fuck himself back onto Dean. “Come on, Dean. I’m not made of glass.” Dean quickened his pace slightly, both hands gripping onto Cas’ hips tightly. “God _damnit_ , Dean, _fuck me,_ ” he gritted through his teeth. Apparently his tone was challenge enough for Dean because his hips reared back and snapped forward quick and merciless, pounding into him harshly. Each thrust knocked the wind out of him and he was moaning and whimpering like a porn star. “Yes! _Fuck!_ Fuckfuckfuckfuck- _Ah!_ Ah! De-Dean, s-so guh-mm, s-so good,” Cas cried out.

“Yeah, Cas- _shit_ \- fuckin’ scream my name, Cas,” Dean babbled breathlessly as he snapped his hips forward.

“ _Dean!_ Yeah! Mm, fuck- Dean!” Cas screamed, holding onto the headboard with a vice grip. His arms were tired from being elevated for so long, but he didn’t even care anymore. Dean’s grip on his hips tightened and he pulled Cas back brutally, his pace slowing down, but his cock slamming into Cas’ hole deep and unforgiving. “Dean! Dean! Dean _fuck_ DeanDean-“ Cas chanted breathlessly, crying out every other second. Dean slammed forward and hit Castiel’s prostate and Cas shouted. “ _Dean!_ Fuck! Oh- m-my God! G-G-God! De- _Dean!_ ”

“Sound so fuckin’ good, Cas, just like that. Fuck, come on. So close, Cas.”

Castiel reached down with his numb arm and fisted his cock quickly. Dean leaned over him, breathing onto his neck and getting impossibly deep, murmuring a dirty string of filth into his ear. A few more strokes and harsh thrusts from Dean and Cas was coming- and it was intense. “Holy-! _Fuck!_ ” he screamed. “DeanDeanDean- Ah!” 

“ _Jesus_ , so fuckin’- G- so tight, C- _Cas_ -!” Dean’s hips stuttered and stilled inside of him and they both came down together, breathing heavily. Dean pulled out and Cas winced.

“Oh... My God,” Cas breathed, his other hand slipping down from the headboard and slapping against his leg. He and Dean both fell onto their backs and laid down silently. Dean sat up enough to slide the condom off and tie the end, tossing it into the garbage can across the room. Cas heard it land in the bin. “Three points,” he breathed.

Dean laughed and elbowed him. “You’d better be talking about that shot I just made and not what we just did. That was at _least_ an eight out of ten.”

“Mm, seven and a half,” he teased. Dean slapped his chest and scoffed. Cas closed his eyes and laughed easily. “Okay, okay. Honestly, like... a nine and a half out of ten.”

“Well, thank you. You weren’t so bad yourself,” he replied. 

Cas snorted and rolled his eyes. He pushed at Dean’s hip. “I’m sleepy; get in your own bed.”

Dean fell off the bed and landed awkwardly on his feet. He reached over and pinched Cas’ nipple. “Don’t flatter yourself,” he teased. Cas laughed and tossed Dean’s stuff onto his bed. Looking at the head of his bed, he realized he got a bit of come where the blanket usually rests against his face. He made a disgusted face at the wet spot and reached over the side of the bed to get his boxer briefs and his pillow. He put his underwear back on- which was extremely difficult with a sore ass, by the way- and scooted to the foot of the bed and settled under the blankets there. Dean crawled into his own bed after turning off the lights. “Wouldn’t wanna sleep in your bed anyways, buttface.”

Cas laughed and shut his eyes. They hadn’t talked about the other night when Dean came home drunk and confessed a lot of things to him- and when he actually _did_ want to sleep in his bed. He didn’t know if Dean even remembered what he said, and Dean hadn’t brought it up. And Cas definitely wasn’t going to be the first one to bring it up, so the subject was left untouched, but they didn’t act any differently. Maybe it was just the alcohol talking and making Dean lazy enough to sleep in Cas’ bed because he hadn’t tried to again, thankfully. “Shut up and go to sleep.” He heard Dean huff a laugh and it was all back to normal.


	12. November 22-23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: anxiety, references to past abuse, homophobia.

The campus was hauntingly empty. He saw a few people here and there, waving politely in passing, but not getting to know each other any better. They even all avoided each other in the dining hall for the most part. They each had their reasons for not going home; it wasn’t anyone’s business to pry. Granted, it wasn’t as stranded as it was over Christmas break last year, but it was still lonely.

Cas was alone at work, sitting on a stool behind the counter and reading _Wuthering Heights_. He had maybe two or three customers all day, most people already gone. The majority of people left yesterday, some stopping in for a cup of coffee on their way out. He worked open-to-close, but he didn’t mind so much because it was just more money in his pocket. Unfortunately, Zachariah stopped by at random points in the day to make sure Castiel was still there. _As if I have anywhere else to be._

Castiel’s heart was racing. After Dean had left, he called the number Gabriel gave him and told him he could come whenever he wanted. Gabe returned with a quick “See you soon, bro!” and hung up. Cas didn’t know when his brother would show up, so he was on edge all morning.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, so he dog-eared the book and answered his phone. “Hello?”

“Hey, Cassie boy, I’m here,” Gabriel’s cheerful voice called from the other end. Cas sighed. _And so it begins._ “Where are you?”

“I’m at work. Do you see a big building that says ‘Bookstore’? I’m in the building next to it- the sign says ‘For Whom the Coffee Brews’.” Gabriel hung up and Cas sighed. _Nobody bothers to say goodbye anymore._

A couple of minutes later, he heard quick footsteps coming from the hallway. From around the corner, his now-bearded brother appeared. His previously shaggy golden brown hair had grown to his shoulders, wavy locks looking somehow 20 times than Cas’ hair had ever looked. Gabriel was wearing torn-up jeans and a t shirt, a jacket tied around his waist. He had one of those big camping backpacks strapped to his back. When Gabriel saw him, he smiled and opened his arms wide. “Hey there, baby bro. You got so big!” Cas stood up and smiled weakly. Gabriel hopped over the counter and pulled Cas in for a tight hug.

“I haven’t grown in the slightest in two years,” Cas corrected tightly. The hug lasted just on the side of too long and Gabe patted his back.

“Eh, technicalities. So what’s the plans? Ditch this dump, pick up a couple of babes and take ‘em back to their place?” Gabe winked and nudged him playfully. Cas gave him a look and rolled his eyes. “Alright so that might be a little difficult over the holidays anyways. But I bet all the ladies swoon over you, right? Novak good looks and all-“

“I can’t say they do, Gabriel,” Cas replied, sitting back on the stool. Gabe hopped up onto the counter and dangled his feet.

“You got a girlfriend, then? You a one-woman man?”

Cas let out a small laugh. “No. There’s no one.”

“That’s too bad.” Gabriel looked like he was pondering something. “I just find it hard to believe that a looker like you doesn’t have chicks lined up around the block.” Cas shrugged wordlessly. “Eh, who needs women anyways? Some good ol’ brotherly bonding will do us some good. We can just, uh... Get some grub and watch a movie. Sound good?”

Castiel nodded. _Any company is better than no company._ “Since everyone went home, I’m stuck working all day for the rest of the week. You could either go back to my room and hang out in the rec hall or just... be here, if you wanted. It’s your decision. But I should let you know that my boss has been checking in on me, so you’ll at least have to sit on the other side of the counter if you wish to stay.”

Gabriel saluted and jumped off the other side, pulling up a stool to the counter. “I’d rather be here. We can get this brother talking started. Alright, so tell me everything.”

Cas sighed and crossed his arms. “What is there to tell?”

“Everything, man. Everything you’ve done since we last hung out or whatever.”

_Oh, the last time we hung out- this time last year? Where should I start? You completely deserting me and never calling after Thanksgiving? Or how I spent Christmas alone at school? Not having any contact with anybody from the family until an out-of-the-blue message a couple of weeks ago? Well, there’s the whole getting fucked by my roommate thing- my very male roommate. Yeah, remember how I said I didn’t think we’d be getting close? Yeah, I think that was not exactly accurate. So should we start at my sexual experimentation?_ Castiel cleared his throat. “Honestly, nothing’s changed. Still a pretty normal life. Going to class, going to work, not getting enough sleep-“ _Having meaningless sex with Dean..._ “Just typical college stuff.”

Gabriel’s eyes slotted suspiciously. After a few quiet seconds, he nodded. “Mhm. Well, Cassie, I’ll give you this: you have got to be the most boring college student I have ever heard of.” Cas laughed weakly and shook his head. “Truly, I don’t know where you get it- definitely isn’t my traits. Must be Michael rubbing off on you.” As soon as the words left his mouth, Cas felt his stomach drop. Gabriel’s eyes widened and he looked like he was trying to take it back. Cas tried to remain calm, but he felt like he was going to throw up. _I’m nothing like him. Right?_ “Oh shit, Cas- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. You know I’d-“

Cas stuck his hand up. “No, it’s fine.”

“You know I don’t think you’re a dick like Michael, man. I only meant, like, hardworking and straight-laced or some shit. I know what he did, I don’t know why I said-“

“Gabriel, just leave it,” Cas snapped. His chest was heaving and he felt like he was going to have another anxiety attack. His older brother shut his mouth and watched him closely. Cas closed his eyes and tried to even his breaths. _Just think about something else. What makes you happy? Cheeseburgers? Eating a cheeseburger would be pleasant, right?_ He absently scratched at the back of his head after he calmed down. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bark at you like that.” Cas opened his eyes and smoothed his hair back down where he was scratching.

“Don’t apologize. It was me.”

Cas just nodded absently, wanting desperately to change the subject. Gabriel was the only brother who still cared even slightly about him, the only one who ever tried to help calm him down from his anxiety, so he didn’t want to run him off too. “So, anyways- what about you? What have you been up to?”

Gabriel’s face lit up and he reanimated to his usual self. “Dude, you will not believe me, but I’ve been on a road trip across the country. Just living out of my van, not a single person to answer to but myself. I even lived in one of those hippie communes for a few months. Let me tell you, man... It’s liberating as shit.” He proceeded to divulge his entire story of love and drugs and more love- as Gabriel referred to it, Cas was sure he just meant sex- and making spare change by selling blueberries every now and then. Gabriel looked so free just rehashing his story- not a care about the past or what anyone thought of him, just living life for himself and being happy. Castiel was jealous.

&&

Dean hadn’t gotten home until after two in the afternoon, dead tired and sore from sleeping on the uncomfortable motel bed halfway between the school and Lawrence. When he pulled up, his mom came rushing out the door, John hot on her heels, trying to get her to slow down. “My baby’s home!” Mary called with her arms open as she got closer.

Dean beamed and ran to meet her, taking her into his arms and squeezing- not too tight, though. He didn’t know how she was feeling and didn’t want to hurt her. “Hey, Mom,” Dean murmured as he kissed her cheek. His dad clasped him on the back and smiled warmly. “Hey, Dad.” Mary reached up and patted Dean’s cheek fondly before reaching down for his bag, but Dean stopped her. “No no no, I’ve got that.”

Mary sighed and smiled weakly at him. “I just missed you, is all.”

“We all did, champ.”

Dean smiled and kissed his mom’s forehead again. “I missed y’all, too. But you know what else I’ve been missing?”

She laughed. “I have a slice of cherry pie waiting for you on the counter,” Mary whispered knowingly as they walked inside.

Dean dropped his bags as soon as he crossed the doorway and darted around the corner to the kitchen. He sat in front of the pie and stared at it appreciatively, sighing happily. _It’s good to be home._ He reached for a fork and shoved the first bite in his mouth. Dean moaned loudly, savoring the taste. His mom came in and sat across from him, watching him with amusement. “This is _the_ best thing I have ever eaten.” He took another bite and almost laughed at how good it was. “Where’s Sam?”

“Upstairs, probably working on a project,” she answered. “I’m sure he’ll come down soon-“

“What was that noise? I couldn’t tell if it was a car or Dean’s overcompensation for his lack of masculinity,” Sam teased from hallway as he walked into the kitchen. Dean rolled his eyes. When Sam saw him, he nodded. “So it was the latter.”

Dean stood up and walked over. “Shut up and hug me, bitch.”

Sam laughed and let Dean pull him into a bear hug. “Jerk.”

“Boys, watch your mouths in front of your mother,” John warned as he got a beer from the fridge.

“Sorry, Mom,” they replied together. Dean sat back down and picked up the last piece of pie. “Hey, do y’all remember Benny?”

“Ben Lafitte, right?” John asked. Dean nodded. “That boy spent every day over here from the time y’all were out of diapers until you went off to college, I’d hope we would remember him. Why?”

“Is he still in town? I wanted to get up with him and talk about something.”

Sam leaned over and tried to steal a forkful of Dean’s pie, but Dean slapped his hand away. “I saw him yesterday at the market. Came in with Andrea to buy a turkey and stuff,” Sam answered.

_Andrea? It can’t be the girl who was always trying to get in Benny’s pants back in school. As if any girl was getting in his pants._ “Andrea who?”

“Kormos- or Lafitte, I guess I should say now.”

Dean almost spat out his milk. “ _What?!_ ” The last time he and Benny talked was at Dean’s going-away party – where Benny had pulled him aside and told Dean he was gay.

His parents just stared at him like he was crazy. John answered, “They got married a couple months after you left for school- oh, what was it?”

“February, I think. Yes, a Valentine’s Day wedding,” Mary finished for him.

“Yeah. Hell, the town didn’t even know they were dating, but they sure seemed happy on their wedding day,” John resumed. Dean was still too stunned to speak. “Why are you so surprised?”

“Uh, no reason. Just always weird to think someone my age is settling down right now,” he lied. _Settling down with someone he doesn’t love. Does he love her? Can he just not be gay anymore? Just... decide to be straight?_ “He still work over in KC at the docks?” Sam confirmed that he’s still exactly how he was when Dean left, and Dean decided to drop by and see his friend tomorrow.

“So how’s school? And... Cas- _steel?_ Casteel? Is that his name?” his mom asked.

“Castro,” his dad added with a small laugh.

“More like Casanova, right, Dean?” Sam teased with a nudge of his elbow. Mary playfully slapped Sam’s arm to get him to stop.

Dean groaned and rolled his eyes. “My _friend_ , Cas _tiel_ , is fine. He’s actually been tutoring me in a couple of classes. To be honest, if it wasn’t for him, I’d probably be home to stay right now.”

Mary smiled at him warmly. “Well, I hope we can meet this boy someday. Sam’s always telling us your stories about him. He seems wonderful.” Dean looked at Sam, who nodded in agreement. 

“If he can get you to make good grades, he’s a damn miracle worker,” his dad mumbled. Mary rolled her eyes and told Dean not to mind him. They made small talk for a few minutes before Mary yawned. She signaled for John to come over and she whispered something in his ear. John took her hand and helped her up. “Your mom’s gonna go lay down and rest for a little while. Try not to be too rowdy, alright?”

Dean made to stand up. “Do you need help?”

“No, I’m fine. I think I’m just too excited. I love you,” she said to Dean as he approached her. He smiled as he reached up and patted his cheek again. “I’m glad you’re home.”

“I am, too.” He watched his parents slowly make their way upstairs and he sighed. _Why can’t she just be better already?_ Sam walked up and clapped him on the shoulder. “Is she always like this?” Dean’s voice was almost a whisper, too afraid to speak about it loudly.

“No, she’s actually doing a lot better. It’s just one of those days. Don’t worry so much,” Sam whispered back. He cleared his throat and returned to his normal voice. “Let’s go outside and shoot some hoops.”

Sam grabbed the basketball and raced Dean out the back door. Dean jumped in front of him and guarded the basket. “This isn’t fair; you know I’m no good at basketball. You have an unfair advantage.”

Sam gave him a mock-sympathetic look. “Aw, I’m sorry, does the baby wanna play fair?” He grinned wickedly and made a fake pass at Dean, who blocked it anyways. Sam spun around and made the basket. Dean groaned as Sam gloated. “Baby gonna cry?”

Dean glowered at him and took the ball. “Shut up. It just isn’t my sport, and you went all MVP on me.”

Sam laughed and blocked when Dean tried to make a shot, slapping the ball across the driveway. “That’s because the only sport you’re halfway decent at is cheerleading.”

“Yeah, if by cheerleading you mean sleeping with cheerleaders. Something a nerd like you wouldn’t understand,” Dean retorted.

“Yeah, the _male cheerleaders_ aren’t my type anyways,” Sam said as he stole the basketball and spun into a dunk. Dean froze for a second. _Does he know? Oh shit, he knows. And the Casanova thing? And Sam’s already making fun of me? –Wait. What is there to know? Still not gay, or whatever. I don’t like men- well, like, I’ve fucked one, but that’s just friends, and I wasn’t even the bottom, so it-_ “Hey, you just gonna stand around and look pretty, or are you gonna actually give me a challenge?”

“Shut up and check the ball, bitch.”

&&

“Wakey wakey, sunshine!” Cas groaned and pulled the blankets over his head, trying to block out Gabriel’s annoying voice. He’d heard it enough yesterday, practically being forced to talk literally all day and night. Not to mention Gabriel spent a good hour in his shower last night, singing at the top of his lungs. His older brother smacked him on the back and Cas yelped. “Come on, we gotta get this Turkey Day rollin’!”

“Why must we get up early? I don’t have to go to work since it’s a federal holiday and you don’t leave until tomorrow, so why are you rushing me? Go back to sleep, or leave me be, at least,” Cas grumbled. He felt the bed dip at his feet and Gabriel sighed. Castiel reluctantly peeked his head out from the blanket and looked at him. “You’re too old to pout, Gabriel.”

Gabe looked at him earnestly. “Kali called.” Cas sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. Kali was Gabriel’s on-again-off-again girlfriend for the past four years. Kali could never decide if she wanted to be with him for more than a month or two at a time and always left him without warning. She wouldn’t return any of Gabriel’s calls, only calling when she decided she wanted him back. Cas remembered a time she’d called him from Mexico and Gabriel immediately got in his van and drove there from Illinois.

Castiel had never met Kali, so he couldn’t judge her, but he didn’t approve of the relationship at all. It was unhealthy and obsessive, and it destroyed Gabriel every time she left, leaving him a heaping mess for weeks afterwards. “I guess this means you’re leaving. Again.” Gabriel reached out for him, but Cas smacked his hand out of the way and got out of bed. “Don’t touch me.”

“Cassie-“

“Don’t fucking call me that!” Cas snapped. Gabriel shut his mouth. “Why-“ Cas’ voice choked up and he paused to collect his thoughts. “Why do you do this? You message me out of nowhere and try to pick up where we left off just to leave like it’s no big deal. Even when we were younger, and you knew Michael...” Cas shook his head, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. “You can’t just keep abandoning me like this- and don’t say you’re not because you do this every time! It’s all fine and great when you want to be my friend, but the second _she_ calls, you forget I even exist. I’m _alone_ , Gabriel. I’m fucking alone! Everyone hates me and- and-“ Castiel collapsed on the ground and buried his face in his hands, tears rolling down his cheeks.

_Keep it together! What’s the point? It’s not like he’ll change his mind. Nobody cares about me. Nobody. Dad hated me. Mom blamed me, leading to her hating me too. Michael, Luke, and Anna hate me. Gabriel doesn’t care about his pathetic, emotionally damaged excuse for a brother either. They all leave. Everyone does. Because of me. All I do is let people down._ Gabriel crawled on the floor next to him and wrapped an arm around his shaking shoulders. Cas jerked and screamed for him to get away, but Gabriel held on tighter, shushing him. “It’s just us here, Castiel. It’s Gabriel. I’m here. Just Gabriel,” he whispered over and over until Cas calmed down. Cas’ tears became silent and he stilled. “Are you okay?”

“What do you care?” Cas muttered. Gabe’s grip loosened and Cas pushed himself off and up to his feet. “You should go.”

Gabriel stood and looked at him uncertainly. “What about Thanksgiving? We can still-“

Cas laughed humorlessly. “What _about_ Thanksgiving? Just face it: our family doesn’t _do_ holidays. There’s just no point in even trying anymore.”

“Are you sure?” Cas nodded and wiped his drying tears, crossing his arms tightly across his chest. “I need her, man. I can’t live without her.”

Cas sighed again. He sniffed and took a deep breath. “I know. You should go.”

Gabriel nodded and got his bag, snapping the clasp in front of his chest. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m as fine as I always am. I’ll manage,” he replied quietly.

Gabriel pulled him into a hug and squeezed him tightly. Cas closed his eyes and actually hugged him back. “I’m gonna call you, baby bro,” he promised.

Cas smiled at him and walked him to the door. Looking at the clock, he noticed it was only just before 11. He sighed and closed his eyes, only slightly still on edge. Cas remembered seeing Meg around campus yesterday, so he took out his phone and began typing a message. “ _Instead of turkey, I suggest we intake copious amounts of alcohol._ ”

After a few minutes, his phone buzzed. _New Message: Meg: You know me so well, Clarence. Come to my dorm in an hour and we’ll celebrate._ Castiel smiled to himself. He would’ve gotten drunk either way, but it was always better to find someone with whom to share his misery.

&&

Dean woke up bright and early Thanksgiving morning to get started on preparing dinner. He finished prepping four pies and the dressing before anyone else woke up. He hummed as he worked, focusing on the food and nothing else. He didn’t want his mom to feel obligated to slave over the kitchen, but he really needed to talk to Benny today. _Nothing to worry about now, just make food._

He heard his brother bound gracelessly down the stairs, his ungodly long limbs still not worn in yet. “Mornin’, sasquatch.”

“Shut up,” Sam replied with a smack to the back of his head. Dean continued humming and turned away from Sam. “What’s got you all happy this morning?” Sam retrieved the carton of orange juice from the fridge and took a long swig.

“Could you _not_ drink from the carton? Jesus, Sammy, it’s like you were raised in a barn.” Sam huffed an incredulous laugh and rolled his eyes, getting a cup from the cabinet. “And I’m just making the most of being home, is all. I was pretty homesick a month or two ago.”

Sam grinned at him. “Did you write a song about it?”

“What? No. Maybe. Yes. Shut up.” Sam laughed and Dean threw a blueberry at him. “I’m actually gonna bring my guitar back with me. I think it might make me not feel so far away, or whatever.” 

“Maybe you’ll actually come back with some talent,” Sam said sarcastically. 

“Oh ha-ha! You’re hilarious, Samantha. Really.” Sam rolled his eyes again. “Oh, hey, could you preheat those ovens? I need to get these babies cookin’.”

“Why do we need four pies anyways? Doesn’t that seem just a little excessive?”

Dean grinned. “There’s no such thing as too much pie, Sammy. Figured I get three to myself and y’all can share one.”

Sam shook his head. “How do you get anyone to sleep with you?” The taller boy laughed and walked out of the kitchen and into the back yard.

_I couldn’t tell you. Guess I’m just ridiculously good-looking._ Dean pretended to reply in his head with a smile. By the time John and Mary came downstairs, the pies had finished baking and Dean was preparing the yams to be cooked later, having already put his mom’s homemade macaroni and cheese in the oven.

“What smells so good? I thought you weren’t cooking until later,” he heard his dad ask him mom from down the hall.

“It’s not me,” Mary replied. When they came around the corner, Mary’s eyes lit up. Dean smiled and wiped his hands on his apron before going in for a hug. “You didn’t have to cook, Dean.”

“I wanted to. Happy Thanksgiving.” John looked him up and down with an amused smile. “What?”

John shook his head. “Just a new look, I see. First it’s cooking in the kitchen with an apron, next thing I know, you’ll be calling to tell me you’re quitting school and running off with your boyfriend to New York to fulfill your dream of being a dancer on Broadway.” John laughed and Mary slapped him on the chest. Dean could feel his face get hotter, and he quickly took off the apron. “Oh don’t be like that, Dean. You know I was kidding.”

“I know. I just have to go. I wanted to catch up with Benny before we sit down and eat,” he explained, kissing Mary on the cheek. “I’ll be back before five, I promise.”

On the drive over to the docks, Dean still couldn’t decide that he wanted to say. He didn’t even know how he’d start off the conversation. _Hey, old buddy old pal. Remember how you said you’re gay? Well, I heard you’ve been stickin’ it to Andrea- you know Andrea, your wife? Just wondering if you could tell me how to flip your switch to just women because I think I need to learn how to do that. Thanks. How’ve you been?_ Dean laughed humorlessly and rubbed a hand over his face before turning the stereo up. He pulled into the dock’s mostly empty parking lot and wandered down the pier until he saw a burly guy securing a big boat to the dock. He smiled to himself. It was almost like back in high school. “Didn’t anyone tell you the water ain’t safe around here? Vampirates are running amok all over the place,” he called out, remembering their old joke from elementary school. 

Benny looked up and when his eyes landed on Dean, he grinned ear-to-ear. “Well, I’ll be damned. If it ain’t Mr. Hollywood himself.”

Dean smiled and opened his arms for a hug. “Get over here, you big son of a bitch!” When they hugged, Dean realized Benny must’ve gained at least thirty pounds of muscle, arms knocking the wind out of him. “Alright, alright.”

Benny pulled off and just smiled at him like he hadn’t seen him in ages- _over two years, to be exact._ “How’ve you been, brother? Last I seen you was...”

“My party,” Dean finished quietly. Benny nodded, eyes distant. “I’ve, uh- I’ve been good. California’s pretty far away, but I manage. But I actually kinda need to talk to you. Unless you need to get back to work-“

“Nah, I got time. We’re closed, anyways. I just like coming out here and making sure my baby’s still running.” He patted the boat they stood beside and laughed. “Three paychecks to pay for this beauty. Wanna hop in?”

“Yeah, man.” When they climbed into the boat and looked around, Dean found a cooler and tipped it open, finding bottles without labels on them. “Beer? Or is this some sort of drug boat?”

Benny laughed. “It’s beer. Garth makes it. Not half bad, if I say. Feel free.” Dean took one for himself and handed one to Benny before sitting down and taking a drink. _Damn, Garth. This actually doesn’t suck._ He decided he’d have to tell him how good it was the next time he went to Bobby’s. “How’s your mom?”

“She’s doing a lot better. She has her bad days, but it hasn’t come back, so I’m happy.”

Benny nodded. “That’s real good. We been prayin’ for her in church.” Dean laughed out loud and shook his head. “What’s so funny?”

“Going to church _and_ married to a woman? It’s just...” Dean trailed off and shook his head again, taking another sip. He looked away from Benny and into the distance where the sun reflected off the water.

“You heard about Andrea,” he said knowingly. “I guess that’s what you’re here about?” Dean shrugged silently. Benny sighed and sat beside him. “What’s on your mind, brother?”

“What happened to you?” Dean blurted.

Benny started picking at a stray string on his jeans. “You remember what I told you before you left?” Dean nodded. “I didn’t really know what I expected... Hell, half of me thought you’d punch me in the face.” He laughed to himself.

Dean kind of knew the answer to his next question, but he still had to ask. “And the other half?”

Benny chuckled sadly. “Well, that half hoped you would take my cue and come out with me. Tell me you felt the same as I did- even though I didn’t say anything about that... Guess I left that part out,” he said quietly. Hearing it out loud made Dean’s stomach twist in knots. _Why the fuck was I so stupid? Of course Benny had feelings for me. But I was so fucking concerned about myself, I didn’t even think about it._ “I reckon that’s why I told you and not someone else.”

“And I... I laughed it off and punched you in the arm and said ‘awesome.’” Dean remembered with a groan and hid his face in his hand, laughing awkwardly. “Jesus, I’m sure that was a fuckin’ great thing to hear.”

“Ah, it ain’t that bad. I also remember you telling me to be happy with who I am and that it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Dean smiled to himself when Benny paused. “I told my old man. That day after you left.”

“How’d he take it?” Dean remembered Benny’s father vaguely. They never spent much time at Benny’s house growing up- the trailer park was dangerous and Benny had always insisted they go to Dean’s or anywhere else. The few times he’d actually met Mr. Lafitte, he’d always seemed like a big brute of a man, dark and quiet- and a drunk, from what Benny told him.

“About as good as you’d expect. Beat me within an inch of my life. ‘No son of mine is a goddamn faggot!’” Dean flinched at the worlds, too shocked to speak. “I was in the hospital for a good two weeks recovering. Broken nose, broken arm, couple’a fractured ribs.” Benny cleared his throat and took a breath. “Left a note on the door that said ‘Faggot: Your kind ain’t welcome here. If you’re still queer the next time I see you, you’re dead.’”

“ _Fuck,_ Ben, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know-“

Benny shook his head. “It’s not your fault. That’s just how people are around here. I should’a expected him to do that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Dean said, face tight with anger. “Why didn’t you call me?” 

Benny shrugged. “What were you gonna do? You said it yourself, California’s far away.”

“I would’ve come back and killed that son of a bitch myself,” Dean replied honestly. 

Benny looked down and huffed a laugh. “I know you would’a.”

They sat in silence for a few seconds before Dean brought the conversation back. “So that’s why you married Andrea?” Benny nodded, giving him a helpless smile. “Got any kids?”

Benny genuinely laughed. It came out as kind of a sob, but he laughed through it. “Hell no, man. What do I look like? Some sort of hetero?”

“But I thought-“

“It was just to cover my ass. What the old man don’t know can’t hurt him,” he replied with a wink. Dean rolled his eyes. “I mean, I tried just liking women- honest to God, I did- but when Andrea tried to take the date to the next level, I panicked. Told her everythin’. She understood and actually took the news really well- hell, she was just happy to know I knew before we went out and it wasn’t her that ‘turned me gay.’ I mean, you can’t just choose to be gay or straight. You are what you are.” Dean shrugged inwardly. _There goes that option._ “So we made a deal. I don’t ask questions if she don’t. And now I get to look like the good ol’ traditional, God-fearin’, straight man the people around here expect me to be.”

“Why don’t you leave?”

“And go where?”

“Come back to LA with me. There’s plenty of gay shit out in California!”

Benny laughed. “That’s mighty sweet of you to offer, but I don’t have any money. Where would I work? Or live? I’m just better off here.” _How could anyone be better off living in fear of being themselves?_ Dean shook his head. If Benny was okay with being here, it wasn’t his place to stop him. “I do think it’s pretty damn funny I’m the queer stuck in the Bible Belt and you’re straight and living in the gayest place in the country.”

Dean looked down at his hands and huffed a laugh. “Yeah.” Dean tipped his beer back and finished it off.

He could feel Benny watching him. “There somethin’ else you wanted to talk about?”

Dean took a deep breath. He really didn’t _want_ to talk about it, but he’d regret it if he didn’t. “We’ve been best friends since kindergarten, right? And you’d be totally honest with me?” 

Benny nodded and turned to give him his full attention. “Yeah, brother, of course.”

“Okay, um. Growing up, did I ever... I ever-“ He laughed humorlessly and put a hand over his face. “I can’t fucking believe I’m asking this,” he mumbled. “Did I ever give you any reason to think I’d be...?”

“Are you asking if I thought you were gay?” Benny asked bluntly with an amused grin. Dean sighed and nodded. “You really don’t remember?”

“Remember what?” _Oh shit, did we hook up?_ Dean’s mind raced and he started to panic. _Why can’t I remember?_

“When we were back in high school and we’d sneak up to your treehouse- God only knows how two fully-grown defensemen could fit in that damned thing- with your dad’s alcohol, or we’d score some pot and go smoke it and just shoot the shit all night- remember that? A couple’a times you got... wasted. Just totally fuckin’ shitfaced and you... Well, you’re one of them friendly drunks,” he said with a small smile. Dean rolled his eyes. _Oh, don’t I know that by now._ “You’d end up asking me why you didn’t like girls yet or why you fucked them if you didn’t like them- but then you’d ramble on and on about how you wasn’t gay. Tell ya the truth, you’re pretty hard to read. But, uh- you’re not gonna punch me in the face, right?”

Dean heart was racing a thousand miles per hour. _I told him all that? I haven’t even worked through any of that shit myself._ “Yeah, I just... I need to know everything.”

“Well, some nights when you was really lit and it was late, you’d ask me if I’ve kissed guys before- if I’d kiss you. The older we got, the more insistent you were, even begging me to let you blow me-“ Dean’s heart almost fell right out of his ass, all of the air leaving his lungs. “-but I never did. I didn’t want you to wake up and think I took advantage of you. An’ I always assumed you remembered and we just wasn’t gonna talk about it. Figured you wasn’t ready.” Dean groaned and buried his face in both of his hands. Benny rubbed a hand over his back hesitantly. “You alright?”

“I will be.” He sat up and looked at Benny, all the pain and regret in his eyes. It hurt Dean more than anything else. _I was such an idiot. My own problems made Benny feel like I didn’t care and feel like I was just using him. But Benny stayed anyways._ “Thank you. For not doing anything or bringing it up. I know it sounds shitty, but I’m just-“ Dean shrugged, words failing him. Benny nodded understandingly. “Thanks for telling me.”

Benny nodded and clapped him on the back. “Come on, it’s gettin’ late. Unless there’s somethin’ else...”

“Oh, no. That was it.” They climbed out of the boat and hugged, not wanting to let go. “Really, brother. Thank you.”

Benny huffed a laugh, air hitting Dean’s neck. “Any time,” his friend murmured.

They parted and started walking away. “Hey-“ Benny turned around expectantly. “Uh, could you... Could you not tell anyone about this? Hell, I don’t even know-“

Benny laughed again. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.”

They stood and looked at each other in silence before Dean spoke up again. “I’m gonna get you outta here, Ben. I’m gonna come back here and get you out.”

“Don’t make any promises you can’t keep,” Benny said sadly. With that, they turned and walked away. 

Dean thought about anything except his shit he had to work through on the drive home. He thought about how he’d eat a whole pie for dessert. He thought about how this was the longest he’s gone without some form of sex in almost three weeks, and how he couldn’t wait to fuck Cas when he got back. But then that thought led to the stuff he was trying to avoid, so he went back to pie.

When they sat down for dinner, and his dad asked what he and Benny talked about, he just smiled and said “Just old friends catching up.”

&&

“Fuck you, Thanksgiving!” Cas yelled at the top of his lungs. He spotted a stray paper turkey on the ground, and he ran up to it and kicked it. “Fuck you, turkey!” Castiel swayed on his heels and stomped on the paper again.

“Get back here!” Meg called from behind him. He made no intention of moving except to take a long swig of the half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. It was dark out, and he and Meg somehow made it to the trail in the woods behind the school. Cas didn’t remember much of how their day led to this- he remembered getting to Meg’s dorm and immediately drinking from the first bottle of Jack, he remembered he and Meg laughing about something for a good twenty minutes, remembered Meg telling him to follow her, and that was really it- but he knew he didn’t want to go back. His problems were stupid and made him feel bad; drinking with Meg was fun. _I deserve to have fun._ Meg caught up to him and clung to the hem of his shirt, reaching up for the bottle. “Gimme some of that.”

He let her take the bottle and he swayed more, almost falling over. “I hate holidays. I hate today. I hate everything.” Castiel kicked a fallen branch under his feet. _I hate myself._

“Y’know, you keep saying that, but you still haven’t told me why,” she slurred, letting Cas take the bottle back. Instead of replying, he grabbed her hand and took off at a full run down the trail. His head was swimming and the cold air stung his face. The woods were completely silent except for the sounds of them breathing and the ground crunching beneath their fast feet. He closed his eyes for a second, letting the sensation of his legs going numb and the wind blowing around him take him away. _I’m flying._ “Clarence!” Meg shrieked as she pushed him to the right quickly. 

His eyes opened and he tripped over his feet, falling onto his ass. “Ow,” he mumbled with a grin. He laughed until Meg held out her hand to help him up. “I was flying,” Cas whispered as he tried to stop from falling on her.

Meg stuck out her arm and pushed him off, but reaching out to keep him from falling back down. “Yeah, I’m sure you were.” He and Meg returned to walking on the trail slowly, not speaking. He took a long drink from the bottle and leaned over to sniff the top of her hair. She jerked her head to get him off. “You’re such a freak.”

Castiel didn’t say anything until he spotted a clearing in the woods. He let go of her hand and ran to the middle. He looked up at the night sky and spun around in circles, letting his eyes fall closed to just feel the air again. _I could just let go. Let everything go._ He stumbled and fell down again. He laid back and laughed until tears were falling down his cheeks, rolling around on the dead grass. Meg walked over and dropped to the ground beside him, lying on her back. Cas stilled beside her, hiccupping as they watched the stars. There were no lights around, so all of the stars were out, the moon lighting up the night. Cas tried to count the stars a couple of times, always losing count and having to start over. He heard Meg sigh and he turned his head enough to look at her. Her hair was a mess, as were her clothes- and she forgot her jacket. He looked back up at the stars, remembering when he was a kid and would watch the stars from his window. “Meg, why aren’t you home?”

Meg sighed and snatched the bottle from him, getting up on her elbow to take a drink from it. She lay back down and took a long breath. “Don’t have one.”

Cas rolled onto his side and watched her. “What happened to your home?”

“Never had one. My mom got knocked up when she was 18. She always told me how she didn’t want me and how my dad was a no-good asshole, but I knew she was lying. I knew my dad was great. Even though I didn’t know who he was, I knew,” she rambled quietly with a small smile on her face, eyes still fixed on the sky. Cas brushed a leak from her hair and let her continue. “My mom gave me up to my ‘uncle’, Crowley, when I was 12. He thinks he’s my dad, but he’s _not_ my dad! He’s not. He’s just some wannabe asshole. Fuckin’ prick.”

Cas smiled at her. “It would seem that you don’t like your uncle very much.” Meg rolled her eyes, but still didn’t look at him.

“I tracked down my dad... when I was 16. I found him all by myself.”

“Where was he?” Cas whispered.

“Pitt Memorial.” Meg hesitated. “The cemetery.” Cas watched the pain flicker across her face and he took another sip of the bottle. “Died back in ’98. He lived long enough to have a family, though, I’ll tell you that. One of his kids goes to UCLA with us,” she added in a hushed tone.

“Who is it? Is it Victor?”

Meg smacked him. “Shut up, Clarence. I’m sittin’ here... tellin’ you all this shit for some reason, so don’t make me... punch you in the dick or something.” Cas laughed to himself and laid back down, cuddling the drink into his side. “It’s Ruby. Civil rights preaching, skank-ass, spoiled Ruby.” Meg proceeded to grumble unintelligibly. “She doesn’t even care about him, you know? He was actually her _dad_. Gave her a sister and everything. He was there for them, and she doesn’t care. She didn’t care that I was her half-sister. She just told me he was a lying sack of shit, but she’s the liar! She got a father, and I didn’t. He wanted her, but he fucking...” Meg’s voice choked off on a sob and she sniffed. “He fucking abandoned me, is what my mom said. But I knew he didn’t know. My mom probably never told him. I know he would’ve loved me too.” Cas rolled over and wrapped his arms around her, rolling her closer so she was pressing her face into his chest. Her tiny fingers clung to his shirt as she cried into his chest. “He would’ve loved me, too. What makes her so special?”

Cas ran his fingers through her hair as he shushed her. When she stilled, he whispered, “He would’ve loved you more.”

“Really?” He nodded with his chin against the top of her head. She sniffed one last time before poking her face out and wiping her cheeks on his jacket. “Don’t tell anyone about this or I’ll cut your face off, you hear me?”

Cas chuckled. “Of course.”

She rolled them so Cas was on his back and she was pressed up against his side, his arms still around her shoulders. She tried to roll away, but Cas kept his arm secure and she gave up, resting her head on his chest and sighing. “This isn’t cuddling. I just forgot my jacket, and I’m cold.”

“Do you want my jacket?”

She shook her head and nudged closer. “No,” she sighed. “I guess this is fine for now.” He chuckled softly. “Alright, your turn. What’s got you kickin’ turkeys?”

He smiled sadly up at the night sky, searching for the star that reminded him of his mom. “Long story short: Dad was a drunk. Left us- my three older brothers, my little sister, and I. My mom... She... I suppose it’s easiest to say she just wasn’t around anymore after that. My oldest brother raised us like a dictator. Second oldest turned into a carbon copy of our father.” He chuckled, remembering something Gabe called Luke last year at that time. “Last time we were all together, Gabriel called him a ‘great big bag of dicks.’” He and Meg laughed lightly before he continued. “Sister ran away when she was 16. Can’t blame her, though. Nobody would want to stay in a home like that.”

“What’d you do?”

He gestured around them. “I came here. With nothing but one physical suitcase and a butt ton of emotional baggage.” He sighed, reaching for the bottle and taking another long drink. “It’s just... Everyone has left me at some point. The only brother who doesn’t completely hate my guts leaves at the drop of a hat. So, I suppose I’m just destined to be alone.”

Meg rolled onto her stomach to face him, their flanks pressed together. “You believe in that destiny bullshit?”

Castiel shrugged. “Maybe. I stopped looking for God a long time ago.” He chuckled inwardly remembering when he and Dean talked about God- Dean had told him he heard God was on a tortilla, and Cas didn’t know his sense of humor back then, so he just said ‘God isn’t on any flatbread.’ He remembered how Dean didn’t let him live it down for a month afterwards. “I have to believe in something.”

Meg was quiet for a few moments before her eyes lit up and she gasped. “Unicorns,” she whispered with a tiny smile. Castiel laughed. “No, seriously. If you’re hellbent on believing in something, let’s believe in unicorns.”

“But unicorns don’t exist.”

“Neither does God.” She moved to rest her head on his chest again. They looked at each other in silence until she added, “I’ll be your unicorn.”

He smiled. Cas couldn’t tell if it was because they were both completely wasted or if she was really making sense. “And that would make me yours?” She nodded silently. “I could believe in unicorns, then.” 

She smiled and turned back onto her back. “Why are you so sweet on me, Clarence?”

He looked down at her and thought about it. Cas really didn’t know. A lot of people were obviously turned off by her frankness and her honesty, but all Castiel saw was someone who understood. Even before they had this talk, he had seen something in her eyes that made him feel like they could understand each other. He sighed. “I don’t know. I think it’s your pain.”

She looked up at him with a confused look on her face. “You a sadist?”

Cas laughed. “No. I only mean that... I can see it because I know what it feels like. All of that thorny pain. It’s... beautiful.”

Meg snorted. “I don’t like poetry.”

Cas chuckled to himself, sitting in silence again until he felt his phone buzz. _New Message: Dean: Can I call you?_ Cas typed out a yes and sent it. “We should be heading back.”

He and Meg stumbled to their feet gracelessly and walked back towards campus, now-empty bottle of Jack in tow. Cas remembered a quote he read once that he finally understood. _”You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.”_ It made a lot of sense now.

&&

Dean was lying in his old bed in his boxers. He held the phone in his hand tightly, still debating whether or not to call. Dean stared at his dresser, still covered in his old awards and trophies from sports- mostly Little League; his high school team wasn’t really that great. He remembered thinking that was who he always was- Dean, the football player. Dean, the ladies’ man. He laughed to himself. _Dean, the guy that gets drunk and tries to fuck all his guy friends._

He texted Cas to see if he could call instead of just calling because he was kind of hoping Cas wouldn’t answer. Maybe it was too late wherever he was at, and he was asleep. Cas liked to sleep. Dean turned off his lamp and laid in the dark, still staring at the emptiness in front of him. He was so used to Cas sleeping five feet away, the silence was driving him nuts. His phone buzzed with a new message. _Cas: yWd_. Dean chuckled to himself. His friend was either asleep or wasted- and, knowing Cas, it was probably the first option.

_Just call. He’s your friend; you guys can call each other for no reason. And he said yes- well, kind of. He meant to say yes._ The clocked read just after midnight, but he didn’t really care. He was wide awake. Dean nodded to himself and dialed Cas’ number. There was no answer after three rings, so he hung up. _Of course he’s asleep. I shouldn’t bother him._

Dean decided to give up and try to go to sleep. His eyes were shut for a good five minutes before his phone was buzzing incessantly. He answered with a quiet, “Hello?”

“Hello, Dean,” Cas replied in a deep, sing-song voice.

“Cas, hey. What are you doing?” he asked, sitting up in bed, not bothering to turn on the lights.

“I am talking to you,” he slurred with a small laugh at the end.

“Are you drunk?” Dean questioned with a grin.

“Wouldn’t be a holiday if someone wasn’t drunk, right?”

Dean chuckled and crossed his arm under his elbow. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Family too much for you today?”

Cas snorted. “As always. I’m just tired of it.”

Dean sighed. “Yeah, I know how that feels. You want me to let you go to sleep?”

“No. I don’t want to sleep. I wanna talk to you.” Dean couldn’t deny the little smile that he felt spread across his face. “How’s everything at home?”

“Not bad at all. My mom’s doing pretty good. My dad’s tolerable, you know. Sammy’s been in way too good of a mood, so I might have to take him down a notch tomorrow.” He heard Cas give a little laugh, and he stopped rambling. “Mostly just spent time with family. Had a long talk with a friend.” 

“Me too,” Cas said. Dean was a little curious who he was talking to, but he wasn’t going to pry because friends don’t care about their friends talking to other people. “I think I have a new good friend now.”

“You replacin’ me?” Dean teased. _And it’s totally not a serious question._

“Of course not. You’re my _best_ friend, Dean,” Cas slurred. Dean heard a door open and close from the other end. “’nless you’re replacing me.”

“Nah. He’s just a good buddy.” Dean didn’t want to talk about anything like that, so he went back to the small talk. “What are you doing besides talking to me?”

“I am currently taking off my clothes,” he said absently. Cas mumbled, “I’m covered in dirt.”

Dean laughed inwardly. “You’re dirty and taking off your clothes? Man, Cas, say that to the wrong person and they might get the wrong idea.” Castiel huffed a laugh into the receiver and Dean could feel how much hearing Cas again was affecting him. He rubbed up and down his thigh unconsciously. “Hey, Cas, you alone?”

“Should I be alone?” Cas’ tone was suggestive, so obviously he knew where Dean was going with this.

“I think so. Can you make that happen?”

Cas laughed again and grunted, bed springs crinkling loudly from his end of the phone call. Dean could tell Cas just flopped onto the bed. “I’m alone, Dean.”

“You wanna pretend I’m there?” Dean felt himself harden and he slipped his hand under the waistband of his boxers. “What would you do, Cas?”

Castiel hummed thoughtfully. “I would start by getting you naked. And kissing your neck- right on that one spot close to your jaw. I’d suck right there and bite on it because I know how much you like that.”

Dean closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. He could imagine it like it was really happening. He started stroking his length slowly. “Yeah, that’s good. What else would you do?”

“Kiss down your neck and your chest. Lick your nip- do I say ‘nipple’? It’s such a funny word.” He laughed and Dean snorted. Cas got babbly when he was drunk. “Yes, back to work.” Cas cleared his throat and returned to his lower tone. “I’d lick your nipple while I rubbed the other one with my fingers, stroking your cock with my other hand.”

Dean rested the phone between his ear and his shoulder so he could pinch and twist at his nipple while still stroking his dick. He let out a small moan and heard Cas’ breath hitch. “You touchin’ yourself, Cas?”

“Yes,” he breathed in return. “Wish it was you.” Dean’s heart skipped and he grasped the base of his shaft momentarily. Castiel bit off a louder moan. “I-I’d suck your cock with long, slow dips- licking the head when I came up.” Dean moved his hand the way Cas was describing and his hips jerks up, searching for more. “I like sucking it, Dean. It’s good. I like it because you enjoy it so much. I like – mm.” Cas let out a breathy moan into the phone and Dean’s cock blurted a dollop of precome.

“Wanna know what I’d do, Cas? I wanna fuck you again.” He heard Cas’ breath hitch at his words. “Take you apart with my fingers again. Fuck ‘em in nice and deep like I know you like. Make you scream again, beg for my cock. You want it, Cas?”

“ _Yeah_ \- yes. Want you to fuck me, Dean,” he panted. Dean heard Cas whimper and he knew Cas was fingering himself. The image put Dean dangerously close to the edge. “H-How do you wanna fuck me, D-Dean?”

“Fuck, Cas,” he whispered with a grunt, trying to hold on and not jack himself off too fast. “I wanna hoist you up on that desk of yours. Bring your ass to the edge and wrap your legs around my waist while I pound you right into that wood.” He squeezed his eyes shut, toes curling with restraint. “You’d keep your arms around my neck or scratching down my back to try and keep your head from banging against the shelves, but your back’s gonna get bruised up-“

“ _Fuck me, Dean,_ ” Cas moaned wantonly. “Wanna- ah! Feel it- _fuck_ \- feel it for days.”

“You will, baby. Feel it for _weeks_ , gonna fuck you so hard-“ Dean couldn’t speak anymore, the feeling of his hand on his dick while he imagined pounding into Cas was too much.

“Want it, Dean- _yeah_ ,” Cas panted into the phone. “Dean-!” With a sharp intake of breath followed by a long moan, Dean knew Cas was coming.

The thought of Cas coming just from touching himself and thinking of Dean was just as hot as imagining Cas coming while being fucked up against a desk. Dean was coming helplessly right after. “ _Cas-!_ ” His hips jerked up into his hand as he came, dirtying up the front of his boxers.

He and Cas sat in silence except for their heavy breathing for a few minutes. “Dean-“

“Yeah, Cas?” he asked sleepily.

“Did you call me ‘baby’?” Cas teased. Dean groaned and put a pillow to his face. Castiel laughed out loud. _Oh my God. I’m going to die._ “You- called- _baby_!” Cas choked out through his laughter.

“Oh my God, stop! It was an accident!”

“Yes, I’m sure it was,” he returned.

_He’s so drunk, he won’t even remember me saying that ever happened. It doesn’t matter._ Dean let Cas’ laughter die down into a comfortable silence again. _Say it. He won’t remember._ “Hey, Cas?”

“Yes, Dean.”

“I m- uh.” _What? I miss you? How gay is that? Do friends even say that to each other?_ “I mi...” Dean sighed and gave up. “I’m gonna start heading back to UCLA tomorrow,” he said.

“Good,” was Cas’ quiet reply.

He heard Castiel yawn and he decided they should sleep. “I’m gonna go to bed. Goodnight, Cas.”

“Night, baby.”

Dean groaned. “I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you when I get back.” Cas laughed and they hung up. 

Dean laid back down and tried to let his mind stop turning. Taking that edge off helped, but he still had stuff he should probably think about eventually. There was a lot of shit he had to sort out, actually- stuff that, admittedly, scared the shit out of him to consider- but that had the power to change everything about who he’s ever been, and he wasn’t ready for that. _And if Benny’s dad did that to him, what’s stopping Dad from doing that to me? What would Sammy say? And Cas and I have rules... Would he be pissed? How badly would it ruin our friendship?_ He sighed. He couldn’t let any of that happen. So for now, he’d pretend he never even considered any of this. He’d pretend everything is exactly the way it’s always been. Dean decided he was going to stay “Dean, the ladies’ man”- _who occasionally fucks his best friend._


	13. November 25

"Castiel, hurry up with that cappuccino!" Zachariah barked from the cash register.

Cas rolled his eyes. "I'm going as fast as I can!" Cas put the large cup on a smaller plate and rang the bell. "Samantha!" He huffed an impatient breath and turned around to start the next order.

The Sunday when everyone was getting back was hectic. Zachariah was taking orders and making Cas do all of the work by himself until Charlie came in later. A knot had started forming in his back, along with the uncomfortable sweat dripping down under his uniform.

Castiel wiped his forehead with the palm of his hand and ran it up through the top of his too-thick hair. _I should really get a haircut._ He remembered the way Dean pulls it and smirked inwardly. _Maybe not._ "Castiel!"

"Alright, this is the last two orders," Cas said as he put the lids on the two frappuccinos. He set them on the counter and rang the bell. "Terry and Joanie!" A friendly couple came up and retrieved the drinks with a small, walking out of the store with their fingers interlaced. Cas sighed, his mind somewhere far off. He saw Charlie bouncing around the corner happily, headphones in. She smiled and waved; Cas let out a relieved sigh. "Finally."

She took out her headphones and came around the corner. "Sup, bitches." Zachariah just grunted and rolled his eyes, removing his smock. Charlie made a face and mocked him behind his turned back. Cas snorted and covered his mouth when Zachariah looked at him sternly.

"I'm leaving. Try not to mess everything up," he instructed grumpily as he clocked out. He turned his attention to Charlie and pointed an accusing finger. "And no free drinks for girlfriends."

"Yes, sir," Charlie replied with a sigh. Zachariah huffed past them and around the corner. "Have we talked about how much I hate that guy? Because I _really_ hate that guy." Cas nodded in agreement, trying to clean the messy counters after the rush. Charlie got up close to him and crossed her arms. "You didn't text me."

"I'm sorry. I was just busy," Cas said. _Busy having a slight emotional breakdown. Not a big deal._ "The only person I got around to talking to at all was Dean."

Charlie beamed with a knowing grin. "You would."

"What do you mean by that?"Charlie shrugged and looked away. Cas peered at her suspiciously. "What are you insinuating?"

"Nothing. I guess I'm just not as important to you as Dean..." Charlie teased.

Castiel could feel the head rushing to his cheeks. He set his lips tight and pretended to look indifferent. _He texted me first. It doesn't even count as special treatment._

Cas took over the cash register and let Charlie make drinks for the next couple of customers. Charlie was a bouncy person; she worked hard and still hummed and danced, making everything look easy.

Charlie hummed something under her breath as she swung her hips side-to-side while making a smoothie. Castiel smiled to himself and watched her with amusement as she got progressively louder. She turned on the blender and swung her arms up, shaking her head passionately as she bursted, " _That's where it is!_ " Cas let out a laugh and she turned around, blushing when she noticed people watching her. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"What is that you're humming? It sounds familiar."

Charlie handed the smoothie to the customer and turned back to clean up. "' _Does he love me? I wanna know- how can I tell if he loves me so?_ '" she sang for him. Castiel tried to remember but he just shook his head. "Dude! 'It's In His Kiss'?" Charlie asked incredulously. Cas shook his head again. "Well, my parents are obsessed with oldies music- seriously, my house is basically reserved for music that predates 1987. But it's a classic. Really good."

"' _Is it in his face?_ '" Cas mumbled, remembering parts of the song.

Charlie grinned. "' _No girls, it's just his charms!_ '"

"' _In his warm embrace?_ '"

"' _No girls, that's just his arms._ '" Charlie took a deep breath and belted, "' _If you wanna know if he loves you so, it's in his kiss!_ '"

Castiel chucked to himself. "I think I remember it now. It is a rather good song. Unfortunately, the only music I've been listening to recently is classic rock."

Charlie made a surprised face at him. "You don't look like the type." Cas just looked off and pretended not to listen when Charlie's face broke into another grin. "Because Dean listens to classic rock."

Cas sighed. "Dean is not the center of my life, Charlie, it's only-" He felt his phone go off and he pulled it out. Cas closed his eyes and let out a long sigh with tight lips. _Great timing._

"Who's that?" Charlie asked with a knowing nod.

"Oh just... Stop thinking whatever mess goes on under that devil red hair," Cas mocked with an eye roll.

"What does _Dean_ want?" _New Message: Dean: 'Hey, just letting you know I'm back.'_ Cas quickly replied. _'Took you long enough.'_ "Cas-" He looked up and put his phone away. "You were smiling at your phone. What did he say? That he _loves_ you?"

She made a kissy face and Cas' chest tightened. " _No._ He was just saying he's back from Kansas, _thank you._ "

Charlie nodded and winked. "Now that we're all back, we should totally go to that cafe in town tonight."

Cas furrowed his brow. "We _work_ at a cafe; why would we want to spend our evening in one?"

"No, but their place is so cool! Like, they have musicians and open mic night and everything. It'll be fun." Cas looked at her pleadingly and she shook her head. "Don't give me that 'Oh I'm Castiel and my hobbies include being studious and not having fun' look."

Cas scoffed. "Is that supposed to be me-?"

"Please come. You even said that you never have any fun."

He sighed. _She's right. All I do is go to class and go to work and do more homework._ "Who all do you intend on inviting?"

"Just me and Jo, you and Dean."

"Charlie, if this is you trying to set up a double date, I swear-" he started impatiently, heat rising in his face and tightening in his chest returning.

"Cas, calm down. I wouldn't consider it a date unless _you_ wanted to consider it a date." Cas looked away pointedly. "Okay, it's just a group of friends hanging out, I promise."

_Not a date. Just friends. Nobody assumes you're anything more. -And why would they? We **are** just friends. What is wrong with me?_ "Alright. But Dean might not want to go, and I won't force him."

Charlie gave him a small smile and whispered, "I bet if you wanted to go, he'd want to go, too." And Cas definitely didn't care if she was right or not. He really didn't. _Not one little bit._

&&

Dean put his headphones in his ears and turned up his favorite Led Zeppelin album, laying down on his bed and closing his eyes. Dean loved driving while he was doing it, but he'll be damned if it didn't wear him out as soon as he was done. _A little nap couldn't hurt._

The farthest thing from Dean's mind was his dilemma about his... _whatever._ But that wasn't stopping his mind from going straight to what it'll be like when he sees Cas again. _Would it be awkward?_ They have no reason for it to be, but still... Would Cas just go straight to wanting to get off? _Do we **have** to have sex every time we're alone? Friends don't do that; even the ones who are hooking up._ He didn't think that's who they were, but that didn't stop that tiny pinching feeling in his chest that hoped Cas would just jump on top of him and ride him till the cows come home as soon as he walked in. _Yeah, I definitely wouldn't be upset about that._

Dean tried to think of when this _shit_ started getting harder than what it began as. _**Is** it harder? Is there something messing this up?_ If he's being honest with himself, this " _shit_ " with Cas started after Jo's party. _So, really, it's kind of all her fault._ Dean figured if she hadn't have thrown a party, Cas never would've gotten drunk and fucked Meg; and then Dean wouldn't have seen them... or heard them... or got off on it- and he wouldn't have started sexualizing Cas so much.

_But is Cas really the only problem? Is he the first guy-_ Dean hurriedly shook the thought from his head and tried to think of something else. He fidgeted on his back, one hand coming between the back of his head and the pillow, the other resting on his stomach. He frowned, feeling around his stomach and pressing his fingers into the softness. _Okay, so getting back in the gym with Victor is something I definitely have to do._

His mind finally drifted off completely and he fell asleep. Dean wasn't sure how long he slept, but when he finally opened his eyes and took out his earphones, he realized someone else was in the room. He turned his head and sat up on his elbow, resting on his side and admiring Cas. He was sitting cross-legged on his bed, thick glasses slipping down his nose, hunched over and completely engulfed in _War and Peace_.

Dean smiled to himself. "You were..." Cas looked up expectantly and Dean cleared his throat. _It's only been five days. His eyes are the same blue they always were. Stop._ "You were reading Tolstoy."

Cas tilted his head in question. "Right now?"

_No, when I first saw you._ Dean licked his lips and decided against it. "Nevermind. You didn't wake me up."

Cas' lips hid a tiny smile and he shrugged slightly. "I know. You just... You looked tired and I," he lifted his book up. "I have something to occupy my time." He looked back over to Dean and pointed at his own face. "You grew out your beard, I see."

Dean's hand instinctively reached up for his face and scratched the newly longer scruff. "Yeah, I don't know. I was just trying something new. Is it, uh- too dumb?"

Cas shook his head and looked back down. "It makes you look like a... a mountain man," he said with a laugh.

Dean grinned. "Yeah? You like mountain men?" Dean waggled his eyebrows and Cas gave him a funny look, rolling his eyes lightheartedly.

They sat in a small silence, just looking at each other until Cas' brow knit and he looked off again. Dean huffed and sat up in his bed. "Guitar." Dean looked to where Cas was looking at and noticed his guitar case against the wall. "I noticed you brought one, I mean."

Dean grinned and stood up to retrieve it. He pulled the guitar out and went back to sit on his bed, facing Cas. Cas took off his glasses and set aside his book to watch Dean completely. Dean tuned the strings absently, eyes flickering back and forth to Cas' wide, fully captivated eyes. He smiled to himself. "What?"

Cas almost looked surprised when he talked. "Could you play me something?"

Dean's stomach flipped. "Like, a few strings or what?"

Cas nodded slowly. "Whatever you'd like."

Dean nodded to himself and set his hands up to play one of his favorite songs. _But no singing._ He started strumming the slow tune, plucking at the memorized chords. Cas smiled faintly, eyes focused on his hands. "Do you like it?" he asked quietly as he kept strumming.

Cas nodded. "You're very good. What is it?"

"'Angeles'," he whispered. Cas didn't respond, instead just licking his nips and watching more intently. "It's not that hard. It's just a pretty simple couple of chords- just repeating the same thing over and over."

"You shouldn't sell yourself short, Dean," he replied simply. Dean looked up to find Cas looked into his eyes earnestly. "I mean it." Dean swallowed and looked back down at his guitar. After a silence just filled with the light strumming fell, Cas asked, "Are there words?"

Dean's stomach knotted up. "I don't... sing. For people, I mean."

A flash of _something_ flickered across Cas' face momentarily and he kept his eyes on Dean's hands. "Oh." He cleared his throat before shaking his head slightly. "I understand."

The knot in his stomach untwisted, but was replaced by a sinking feeling in his chest. _I should really see a doctor about this bullshit._ "I could... I could sing- I mean, I could sing for you, if you want."

"Dean, if you don't want to-"

Dean smiled. "It's okay. I should probably have someone else besides Sam hear me anyways." He looked up and saw Cas' hopeful eyes on his face. He cleared his throat and closed his eyes. "I- I sing with my eyes closed, so don't make fun of me."

"Of course not, Dean."

He let the chords play through a few more times before taking a deep breath and starting. " _Someone's always coming around here, trailing some new kill._ " Dean could feel his voice wanting to crack, and he hoped Cas didn't notice. " _Says I've seen your picture on a hundred dollar bill. And what's a game of change to you, to him is one of real skill._ " He took a slow breath to calm his heart. " _So glad to meet you, Angeles._ "

The first verse was always the hardest, but the panic eased and he relaxed. " _Picking up the ticket shows there's money to be made. Go and lose the gamble, that's the history of the trade._ Fuck," he added when he could feel himself run out of breath. He heard Cas let out a small laugh. " _And you add up all the cards left to play to zero, and sign up with evil. Angeles. Don't start me trying now because I'm all over it, Angeles._ "

" _I could make you satisfied in everything you do,_ " Dean sang with a grin. " _All your secret wishes could right now be coming true, and be forever with my poison arms around you._ " He nodded to himself before letting his tone die down. " _No one's gonna fool around with us. No one's gonna fool around with us. So glad you meet you, Angeles._ " He let his hands play the chords a few more times before stopping. He kept his eyes closed and licked his lips unsurely.

Slowly, Dean opened his eyes and looked up to Cas. Cas' eyes were slightly watery and his lips were parted, brows tight. Cas' eyes met his and Dean tried to silently ask his opinion. "Dean..." he breathed.

Dean chewed on his lip uncertainly. "Was it okay?"

Cas nodded eagerly, lips still open. "Dean that was..." Cas tried to get something out, but a breathy unsure laugh came out.

Dean smiled and looked down at his guitar. "I hope that was Cas for 'good'."

"Why do you not sing for _everybody_? That's better than a lot of musicians."

Dean huffed a laugh and shrugged. "My music is... kind of a part of me. Like, it's who I am, and stuff I don't want to say or can't say, you know? I just- I _can't_ give that to people," he answered quietly as he got up to put his guitar away.

Cas was silent for a while until Dean turned back to him. he still looked lost, or like he was trying to find what to say. "Thank you," he settled on. Dean nodded. _It doesn't feel as bad as I always imagined it would be._ "I hope the people tonight have the same talent as you do."

"Tonight?"

Cas winced awkwardly. "I forgot to tell you. Charlie invited you and I to join her and Jo tonight at some cafe that has music and open mic and whatnot."

Dean raised his eyebrows. "Open mic night? That sounds kind of lame."

Cas' face fell slightly and he looked away with a tight expression. "Yes. Yes, it does. I already promised I would go, but you don't have to. I'll tell her-"

When Cas reached for his phone, Dean lunged forward to stop him. "I- I could go. It might be fun."

Dean, if you're not going to enjoy yourself..." Cas looked at him uncertainly. "Don't just go for my sake."

"No- no, yeah, I wanna go. Besides, someone's gotta save you from being a third wheel." Cas' bright smile made Dean smile in return. _Could be fun._

&&

Castiel was glad Dean had decided to go with them. He actually wasn't so sure what time Charlie and Jo were coming to meet them, but he knew they needed to get ready soon. So, he took his change of clothes into the bathroom while Dean got ready in their room.

He'd insisted that Dean keep talking about his break while they changed. _Dean's family is so sweet, a nice change of pace._ "Didn't you say he was dating a girl named Madison?"

"Sammy doesn't like to admit it, but he's probably a bigger playboy than I am- he's dating Sarah now," Dean returned.

Cas pulled up his favorite jeans and wiggled to fit them all the way up. "What's she like?"

"She's a sweet kid. Spunky. They were actually friends for a long time before they decided to go out. Sam says she's the love of his life."

Cas smiled to himself as he buttoned up his blue and black plaid shirt. "That's sweet. Sam sounds like a great guy, too."

"You would _love_ Sammy. Huge dork. You'd get along perfectly," Dean teased from outside the bathroom door.

Cas scoffed and opened the door. "I resent that." Dean shrugged and chuckled. "Maybe you're just jealous because we're both good-looking _and_ smart." Cas tucked in his shirt and pulled on his black sweater vest.

When he looked back at Dean, he was pretending to be offended. "Are you suggesting I am not both of those things?" He put a hand over his chest earnestly. "I'm hurt, Cas. You cut me deep." Dean's expression broke and he grinned, looking Cas up and down. "You looked better the way it was before.

Cas furrowed his brow and looked down at his shirt. "I like the sweater."

Dean walked over and put his hands on Cas' hips, crowding him against the desk. _Oh, I see now._ "I think you should take it off." Cas raised an eyebrow and shook his head stubbornly. Dean grinned and lifted the sweater vest off of him anyways. "And you should untuck your shirt." Cas shook his head again, and Dean stopped closer, bring their groins together. He slowly moved his hands to Cas' lower abdomen and pulled the shirt up enough to untuck it, slipping to his lower back and doing the same.

Cas turned his face so it was an inch from Dean's , their smiling lips daring to touch. He looked from Dean's lips to his eyes and back down. "Do I look presentable now?" he quietly asked.

He felt Dean's laugh against his lips. "Not for long," Dean whispered challengingly. Cas surged forward and pressed his lips to Dean's, wrapping his hands around Dean's back. Dean laughed into the kiss as Cas pushed his hands under the back of Dean's jeans and squeezed his ass, bringing him closer.

"What are you gonna do?" Cas asked between kisses.

Dean chuckled again and brought his hands down below Cas' ass and hoisted him up to the desk. "I got a few ideas."

Cas grinned and brought his hands up to the back of Dean's head and kissed him deeper as Dean grinded their groins together pointedly. Dean gripped his hips and pulled him in even tighter, wrapping Cas' legs around his waist. Cas let out another breathy laugh; the relief of finally having Dean touch him again was too good to be true. Dean disconnected their lips and brought his to Cas' neck, his hips still rubbing incessantly against Cas'. A small moan escaped Castiel's lips when Dean snaked a hand up the front of his shirt. "Are you going to fuck me?"

Dean kissed up from his collarbone to his neck and up to his ear. "That's the plan," he murmured.

Cas grinned and pulled Dean in tighter, moving his hands scrambling to unbutton Dean’s jeans. Dean let out a shaky laugh into his neck and sucked a mark into his collarbone. “ _Fuck_ ,” Cas breathed. He reached his hand into Dean’s pants and cupped his bulge. Dean’s hips bucked forward and he let out a louder half-moan-half-laugh, biting down on Cas’ neck affectionately. Cas let out another laugh at the tickling sensation of Dean's new beard. 

Cas’ phone vibrated in his pocket and he let out a surprised yelp. Dean sighed and slumped against him. Cas rolled his eyes and pulled his phone out of his pocket. _New Message: Charlie: 'On our way. See you soon.’_ Cas sighed disappointedly. “Change of plans.”

Dean sat up and pulled Cas’ phone towards him and read the message. Cas expected Dean’s expression to fall, but Dean just grinned at him and tossed his phone onto the bed. Dean leaned in closer and hovered their mouths teasingly. “How much you wanna bet we can get off before they get here?”

Cas opened his mouth to reply, but Dean sealed their lips together and rocked his groin into Castiel’s harder. Cas gasped into Dean’s mouth and Dean chuckled, one hand tightly holding Cas’ hips on the edge of the desk, the other coming up under Cas’ shirt and tugging on one of his nipples. Cas groaned and laughed, throwing his head back. “You’re on.” Cas scooted further off the desk and moved one leg between Dean’s and grinded his hips down on Dean’s leg. “Come on then, Dean. We don’t have all night,” he mumbled into Dean’s jaw. 

Dean began rocking his hips down onto Cas’ leg and pressing into his hips tightly, lifting and rocking his other leg along with Cas’ rolling hips. Cas moved his hands up the back of Dean’s shirt and scratched at his lower back and dipped under the waistband of Dean’s jeans. Dean moaned into Castiel’s ear, pressing small kisses to his neck and jaw. “No time for music. G-gotta try to be quiet.”

Cas nodded frantically, licking up Dean’s neck before nipping it softly as he grinded his hips harder. Dean’s breath hitched and he brought their lips back together, sliding his tongue next to Cas’. “Glad you’re back,” Cas whispered under his breath into Dean’s mouth. 

Dean moaned and kissed him deeper, hips stuttering slightly. “Me too, Cas.” Cas let out a small breath and moved his hands to Dean’s neck and pulled him closer. Dean slowed his movements, his hips rolling deep against Cas’ and his tongue dancing with Cas’ thoroughly. Cas let out a small moan, overwhelmed more by the long, rolling movements than the small, hurried ones. Dean held onto Cas' rolling hips tighter. “ _Close_ ,” Dean whispered into his mouth, resting their foreheads together. 

Cas nodded again, bringing their lips back together and holding on tighter to Dean’s shoulders. Dean wrapped both of his arms around Cas’ back and brought their whole bodies flush together. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck helplessly and breathed against his mouth, too far gone to kiss. 

There was a knock on the door and Cas let out a high-pitched groan he didn't know he was holding in. Dean grinned and sealed their lips together tightly, grinding his leg up into Cas’ groin and rutting against him quicker. Dean bit down on his lip and Cas came with a muffled gasp, hips stuttering against Dean’s and coming in his boxer briefs. “ _Dean_.”

He kissed Dean deeper, lifting his leg to get Dean at a better angle. Dean moaned and bucked his hips harshly, coming right after him. A tiny “ _Cas_ ” falling from his lips. Cas sagged back against the desk and tried to catch his breath. Dean stepped back and rested his hands against his knees, leaning over with a heaving chest. “Holy shit,” he whispered. 

Cas laughed until the knocking continued. “Cas! Dean! Get your mouths off each other’s dicks and answer the goddamn door!” Jo hollered from the other side. 

“Shut up and go fuck yourselves!” Dean shouted back.

Cas rolled his eyes and laughed. “We’re almost done, just give us a minute to finish getting ready,” he called. He looked at Dean whose hair was messed up and lips were a swollen red, small red dots showing up on his neck. He laughed to himself. “You look like shit.”

Dean snorted. “You’re one to talk.” They went into the bathroom together and cleaned up their underwear gracelessly, nudging and pushing at each other and making gross faces at the other man. When Cas looked in the mirror and noticed his hair practically sticking straight up and his lips an even darker red than Dean’s, he laughed. His shirt had the first two buttons tugged open and wrinkled from where Dean had pulled on it. “Told you,” Dean mocked. They rinsed their faces and gave themselves and each other another once-over before deciding they looked okay enough to leave.

“Fucking finally,” Jo groaned as she got up from the floor next to Charlie in the hallway.

“Are you princesses ready to go?” Charlie asked, letting Jo help her up. "Well... with that beard, you're more like the Beast to his Beauty."

Dean rolled his eyes. “Shut up and let’s get going.”

They started walking and Cas felt his pockets and stopped. “I forgot my phone in the room; I’ll be right back.” He hurried back to the room and retrieved his phone. When he turned back around to leave, Dean came in and smiled at him. Before Cas could ask anything, Dean pulled him in for a kiss. Cas smiled and kissed him back. “What are you doing?” he whispered.

Dean pulled back and shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m just glad we’re back.” 

Cas looked down and smiled inwardly, licking his lips. “Come on. We shouldn't keep them waiting.”

&&

The cafe was… okay. It was dimly lit- for romantic “ _ambiance_ ” or some shit- and the music was decent, but it wasn't a whole lot of fun. Charlie had insisted on a corner booth in the darkest part of the room, their overhead lamp dying and not giving them much extra light. 

Charlie and Jo were snuggled up on one side of the booth, arms wrapped around each other and Jo letting her legs rest on top of Charlie’s. Dean rolled his eyes. _Love is gross._ He was sitting across from Cas, the girls separating them. Cas was watching the band on stage, a group of guys with acoustic instruments and whiny voices, and sipping his coffee absently. Dean sighed and slouched in his seat, tapping on the rim of his cappuccino mindlessly. 

“What’s wrong, Dean? You don’t like the music?” Charlie asked, sitting up just a little to look at him. 

Cas turned his attention to him and Dean shrugged, looking back at Charlie. “Nothing; it’s alright.”

“Well, perk up a little and enjoy yourself.” Charlie looked out in the tables at the middle of the room and nudged Dean. “Over there. Blonde, big boobs.”

Dean followed her nod and spotted a _decent_ looking girl who definitely had some features he could appreciate. She was leaning over the table to giggle with her friend- also not bad-looking. "Yeah, what about her?"

Charlie nudged him playfully. "Go cheer yourself up. She looks like fun." Jo scoffed and Charlie kissed her cheek apologetically. "Not as fun as you, baby."

"Damn straight," she mumbled into her cup of coffee with a small smile.

Dean admired the girl and saw her look over at them before turning away and smiling secretively to her friend. _Oh yeah. Easy._ He took a sip from his cup and smirked, not finding himself all that interested, if he's honest. The girls both turned to their table and grinned cutely. He gave them a small wave and the blonde waved back. The other girl, a brunette with long hair, pointed at Cas and Dean nudged him. Cas looked over and the girl waved at him. Cas gave her a small, shy smile and waved before turning back and slipping lower in his seat. The girl frowned, but disregarded it. The blonde rolled her eyes and turned around as well. Dean shrugged and scratched his scruff absently. _Their loss. Cas and I are both awesome in bed._

"Hey, what's wrong?" Dean asked, leaning over the table.

Cas tilted his head in confusion. "Nothing. Why?"

"That girl totally wanted you," Jo answered for him. Dean nodded, even if he was a little, _tiny_ bit happy it didn't pan out.

Cas just shook his head and cleared his throat. "I'm just... not really interested." Dean's heart skipped with relief, and he silently cursed himself for it. Cas sat up straighter and gave them a forced smile. "Um, if you'll excuse me." He stood up and walked down the aisle and into the hallway toward the side of the building.

Dean sighed. _Is he upset about the girl waving at me? He's gotta know I wouldn't ditch him for some one-night-stand; I haven't done that in front of **anyone** I've hooked up with, let alone my best friend._ He pursed his lips and cleared the thought from his mind. _Does he want to go talk to her, but he thinks I wouldn't be okay with it? Because I could totally be okay with it._ Even if that part wasn't entirely true, he still pulled out his phone and typed out ' _If you want to talk to that girl, it's cool._ ' and sent it to Cas.

"Hey, are you and Cas fighting or something?" Jo asked, scooting further towards where Cas was sitting, Charlie following.

Dean shook his head. "No, why?"

"You guys just... seem more tense lately," she replied with a shrug.

"Yeah, you guys have been acting kind of weird," Charlie voiced in agreement.

Dean's phone buzzed. _New Message: Cas: 'That's kind of you to offer, but I don't think I'm going to. You may talk to the blonde woman, if you want.'_ Dean quickly replied with an honest ' _I don't._ '

Charlie nudged him to get his attention. "Are you sure you guys are okay?"

He saw Cas start walking back and he smiled at Dean. "Yeah, we're okay."

When Cas reached the table and noticed the girls had taken his spot, he furrowed his brow. The girls shrugged and looked at the space next to Dean. Dean rolled his eyes and scooted further over to make room for Cas next to him. _Subtle._ "Sorry, Cas."

Cas' lips played with a tiny smile as he sat down and reached for his coffee. They were sitting close enough that Cas' knee and arm brushed against him every time he moved. "That's alright. This seat is okay, too." He looked at Dean and shrugged indifferently. Underneath the table, Cas let his knee rub against Dean's slowly, their thighs rubbing together. Dean smiled inwardly at Cas' slightly amused smile as he turned his attention back to the band on stage. _Fucking tease._

They settled into their seats and tried to enjoy the rest of the band's set. The coffee settled in and made Dean jittery, subsequently making him loud and secretively handsy under the table. Two hours later, the set ended and they drove back to campus. He and Cas said goodnight to the girls and headed back to their dorm.

"You know, we never..." Dean started uncertainly. Cas looked over to him as they walked side-by-side. "We never, uh- established whether or not we would..."

"Whether we could hook up with other people if we wanted?" Cas finished for him. Dean let out a deep breath and nodded. Cas dug his hands into his pockets and looked forward. "What would you suggest?"

"Dude, I have no idea," he replied honestly, eyes flickering over to judge Cas' facial expression. It remained unreadable.

"Well, I haven't felt any sort of desire to explore my options-"

"You went out with Tess," Dean blurted before he could stop himself.

Cas looked down at his feet as they walked. "Nothing happened with her, Dean." Dean opened his mouth to reply, but Cas continued. "They could have- _trust me_ \- but they didn't because I just wasn't interested." Dean licked his lips and opened the door to their dormitory, walking in behind Cas. They returned to being side-by-side as they climbed the stairs. "But like I was saying, I don't feel an inclination towards exploring my options, but I wouldn't get in the way of you exploring yours."

Dean scratched the back of his head. "Well, the whole reason we started _this_ was because girls were too much work, right?" Cas nodded without looking at him and Dean shrugged to himself. "Then, I guess I can tell you I don't really care enough to be chasing skirt anymore." Cas finally looked at him and Dean tried not to look back as they approached their room. "Rule number one," he mumbled.

"Honesty, yes," Cas returned absently. "We're-" He cleared his throat when another student passed them, scooting close to the door and watching Dean unlock it. When they got in the room, he crossed his arms and stood by his desk, looking at his feet. Dean sat down at his desk chair and unlaced his boots. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did," he answered with a grin. Cas rolled his eyes and looked at him seriously. "Yeah, Cas, you can ask me anything. You know that."

"Yeah, I know. We're... We're still friends, right?" Dean's chest tightened and Cas looked back down and started scratching at the back of his head. He huffed a frustrated sigh when he couldn't find the words he was looking for. "You haven't just been hanging out with me out of obligation, or something? I just feel like you wouldn't want to be my friend-"

Dean let out a breathy laugh. _Thank God that's what he meant._ "Of course we're still friends, Cas. Why wouldn't I want to be your friend?"

Cas shrugged and let his arms fall to his sides. "I'm not... _fun._ " Dean opened his mouth to disagree, but Cas kept talking. "I'm not some hot blonde that shamelessly flirts with attractive men in cafes," he mumbled.

Dean looked Cas up and down, trying to figure out _why_ he wants him so badly. "I don't want some hot blonde in a cafe," he answered honestly.

Cas looked up at him and licked his own lips. "You're not just being lazy? Because you said you just don't care-"

"Cas, I don't want her."

Cas' eyes flickered to something mischievous and Dean smiled inwardly. _That's better._ "What do you want, Dean?" he asked as he started unbuttoning his shirt slowly.

Dean watched as he slid the material off and tossed it aside, stepping out of his shoes. "I don't know, Cas; what do _you_ want?" Cas grinned slightly and unbuttoned his jeans and stepped out of them before crossing the distance between them and standing between Dean's legs. Cas let their faces get within half an inch of each other, but when Dean leaned up higher to kiss him, he pulled back just enough to keep the distance. Dean sighed, a lazy grin on his face. 

"Firstly, I want you naked," he answered quietly. Cas reached down and toyed with the hem of Dean's shirt before lifting it up over his head and tossing it aside. He ran his hands down Dean's chest slowly and traced a fingertip lazily over his nipple, never breaking eye contact. He slowly got to his knees and reached up to unbutton Dean's jeans. Dean let out a shaky breath as Cas impatiently yanked down Dean's jeans and boxers simultaneously, throwing them to the side in no time. He stood up and slipped off his boxer briefs, kicking them aside. Dean grinned and hurriedly reached out for his hips and pulled him onto his lap, Cas' legs falling on either side of him. Cas let out a small laugh, Dean's arms wrapping around his waist and Cas resting his on top of Dean's shoulders. Cas' eyes stayed on Dean's lips thoughtfully. "And now I want to kiss you."

"As you wish," Dean murmured. Cas closed the distance between their mouths and kissed Dean thoroughly, wet and dirty, as he rolled his groin against Dean's pointedly. " _Fuck,_ Cas." Castiel smiled against his lips and kissed him again. "What else do you want?" he whispered.

Cas leaned in to Dean's ear and licked the shell of it, earning a shudder from Dean. "I want to suck your cock while I finger myself open," he murmured, and Dean had to make a very conscious effort not to come just from Cas saying that. "Because what I really want... is to ride you into next week."

"Holy _shit_ ," Dean breathed, his eyes rolling back. He felt Cas nudge his ear lobe with his nose and smile into his neck. 

"Good?" he mumbled against his neck, sucking wetly on his Adam's apple. Dean probably nodded a little too eagerly, but he couldn't give a damn. Cas grinned and unseated himself from Dean's lap, and Dean frowned before Cas was reaching over and getting a condom and the lube out of his drawer. He seated himself on his knees between Dean's legs, squirted some lube onto his fingers and leaned forward, licking down Dean's painfully hard cock and taking it into his mouth. 

Dean sighed and let his head fall back, scooting his hips forward on the chair slightly. He felt Cas moan around his cock and he hissed. Dean looked down and noticed Cas had reached between his legs and started fingering himself. "Jesus, Cas, you're so hot," he whispered. Cas opened his eyes, looking up at Dean and winked; Dean's eyes rolled back again. "Fucking tease," he mumbled. Dean reached behind him to manually turn on his music, a loud Steppenwolf song sounding from the speakers. 

Cas pulled his mouth off of Dean's dick and stroked it while he grinned up at him. "Are you feeling confident about the possibility of it getting loud in here tonight?" he teased with a filthy lick of his lips before biting his bottom lip. Dean couldn't even respond if he wanted to because he felt like either his cock or his brain or both were going to explode. Dean could tell when Cas inserted another finger because he let out a soft, higher pitched moan and scratched Dean's thigh. " _God._ "

"You rockin' your own world there, Cas?" Dean retorted. Cas raised an eyebrow to him and shrugged with a wide grin on his face before he wrapped his lips around Dean's dick again, swirling his tongue around the head enough times to make Dean dizzy. " _Fuck_ -!" Cas pumped his fingers into himself quickly, hollowing his cheeks and bobbing his head on Dean's cock at the same speed, making himself groan around Dean's member. Dean cursed under his breath, his hand going to card through the back of Cas' hair and his hips pumping up unconsciously. Instead of gagging and pulling back, Cas moaned again and dipped his head, taking all of Dean's length in his mouth, the head hitting the back of his throat. "G _od_ , Cas, just like that-!" Cas swallowed around him and added a third finger to his own hole, letting out a long breath through his nose against Dean's skin. Dean ran his fingers through the top of Cas' hair and grabbed a fistful, yanking his head up. Cas' eyes were completely glazed over, eyebrows tight as his chest heaved breathlessly. "You're fucking perfect," Dean mumbled more to himself than Castiel.

Cas pulled his fingers out and took the condom in his dry hand and his teeth, ripping open the package and spitting the foil out before rolling the condom on Dean's dick. _Jesus Christ, that shouldn't be so hot._ He got to his legs and straddled Dean's lap, putting more lube on his hand and stroking Dean's length. Dean surged forward and connected their lips, tasting himself on Cas' tongue. He wrapped his arms around Cas' back and scratched lightly down the taut muscles. " _Dean,_ " Cas gasped.

When Cas moved his hand and lifted himself above Dean's dick, he rested their foreheads together. "You sure, Cas?"

Cas smiled and kissed him deeply again. "I'm a big boy, Dean. I can take dick like a man." Dean's scoff got cut off when Cas sank onto Dean's cock in one long, slow movement. Cas' mouth fell open into a silent gasp, rolling his hips down to get Dean's length fully sheathed.

"God _damn_ , Cas," Dean moaned, his hands coming to Cas' hips and holding on tight. Cas let out a shaky laugh and rolled his hips down a few times to get used to the feeling. "Feels so good," he breathed.

Cas pressed his lips to Dean's and lifted his hips up before falling back down and rolling his hips again. "Dean," he gasped. Cas lifted his legs momentarily to re-situate himself and yelped when he realized how deep Dean would get when he put his full weight on him, falling backwards slightly. Dean took advantage of Cas being thrown off by holding on tight and rolling his hips up into Cas even deeper, Cas' hands holding onto Dean's neck for dear life. "Dean-! Oh my God!" Dean grinned and lifted himself slightly off the chair and gave one brutal thrust of his hips, Cas bouncing on his lap helplessly. " _Fuck_ , D-D _ean_ -!" he all-but-screamed.

Dean chuckled and sat back down, letting Cas find his balance again and plant his feet comfortably on the ground. Dean happily buried his face in Cas' neck and felt him try to catch his breath. He licked down the column of skin and bit down on his collarbone. "You like that?"

Cas moaned and brought their lips back together as he lifted his hips and slammed down hard, a groan being ripped from Dean's chest. "Ye-yeah, fuck-fucking love your d-dick," he breathed as he increased his pace. Cas moved back, resting his hands on the tops of Dean's shoulders to help lift him higher and fuck himself down onto Dean's cock. Cas smiled and tossed his head back on a particularly hard downward drop of his hips. "Fuck-!"

Cas set up a brutal pace, bouncing and rolling on Dean's lap like he was fucking paid for it, moaning and screaming helplessly and Dean thought he was going to die from being so turned on. That, or the chair underneath them was going to break with the way the wood was squeaking obscenely. "C-Cas? F- _fuck yeah, just like that_ -! Cas- mm, Cas?"

Castiel opened his eyes and looked at Dean as he slowed down just enough to regain the ability to talk, rocking his hips down and getting Dean impossibly deep. "Y-Yeah?"

Dean really didn't know why he was asking such a stupid question at such an inconvenient time, but he had to ask when both of their minds were mush. "Do-do you ever th-think you mi-mi-might be- _fuck!_ Might be gayer than you-you originally thought?" he asked slowly, trying to keep a hold of Cas' rapidly moving hips. Cas let out a breathy laugh and resumed his previous pace of lifting and slamming down obscenely, his eyes falling shut again. "It's ju-just you seem- you seem to l-like this a lot-"

Cas opened one eye to look at Dean with amusement as he let out a half-laugh-half-moan. "That's pretty-pr-pretty- mm, _shit_. Pretty big talk com-coming from the guy with hi-is d-dick up his friend's ass," he quipped breathlessly. Dean laughed and reached a hand up to twist one of Cas' nipples in retaliation. Cas gasped loudly and chuckled, increasing his pace. His hips fell so hard, long streams of curses fell from Dean's lips alongside the short and loud screams spilling from Cas'. "T-touch me, Dean." Dean reached between them and fisted Cas' cock quickly, rubbing at the slit on every upward stroke. "Oh, _fuck_ -!" he screamed at a higher pitch, his hands coming to hold onto the back of Dean's neck tightly and resting their foreheads together. "Fuckfuckfuckfuck-! _Dean-_!"

" _Shit yeah_ , Cas- God. Feels so _fucking_ good," he groaned loudly. He wrapped his free arm around Cas' back and pulled their bodies a little closer, tilting his head up and kissing Cas' open lips. Cas moaned and wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, hungrily accepting his kiss and bouncing on his lap erratically. "S-So close, Cas," he breathed before pressing their lips together again.

Cas slammed down onto Dean's cock with a loud " _Dean_!" every time he was fully seated. Dean pumped his hand over Cas' cock faster, twisting his wrist pointedly. " _Ah_ -! Fuck yeah, Dean! Fuck me- oh my God ooohhmygod- _Fuck_ -! Yeah, Dean! S-S-S-So f- _fuck_ -fucking good!" Cas let out an unintelligible guttural scream as Dean kissed and nipped at his jaw insistently. "Ah- Ah-! _Dean-_!" Dean sealed their lips together and Cas slammed down one last time before he came with a long, muffled shout and spilled over Dean's hand.

Dean kissed Cas softly as he shook helplessly through the aftershocks of his orgasm. "Jesus fucking Christ, Cas," he breathed as he stroked Cas through it. Castiel kissed him deeply and rolled his hips down and got Dean impossibly deep. " _Shit_ , Cas that's so good," Dean groaned, burying his face in Cas' sweat-covered neck and wrapping his arms around Cas' waist.

"Come on, Dean," he whispered insistently. "Fuck, Dean, you feel so fucking good inside me." Dean let out a high-pitched whimper that he'd never admit to and dug his fingers into Cas' back. Cas rocked his hips down and moaned in Dean's ear, his breath making Dean get goosebumps. "God, Dean- _shit_ \- mm."

Cas brought his lips to Dean's ear and whispered a sentence that ripped Dean's orgasm from him. " _Cas-_!" he groaned into Cas' neck, holding onto Cas tightly. Castiel moaned inwardly as he helped Dean ride out his orgasm, kissing the side of his face and raking his hands over his hair. "Oh my God, Cas," he breathed with a laugh. 

Castiel smiled as Dean leaned back and brought their lips together one last time chastely. Dean ran his hands up and down Cas' back comfortingly. "Was that good?" he whispered, tone suddenly unsure.

Dean sat back and sighed contentedly, raising his eyebrows in appreciation. He carded his fingers through Cas' thick, sweaty hair and smiled. "Dude, that was better than _any_ girl I've ever fucked," he answered honestly. Cas' face broke into a shy smile and he bit his lip, looking away from Dean. Dean laughed. _How could anyone ride dick like that and then look so innocent afterwards?_

Cas pecked his lips one last time before unseating himself slowly from Dean and walking over to the bathroom and retrieving a wet wash cloth, cleaning up his stomach and legs. "I really did enjoy that," he admitted with a small smile.

He tossed the rag to Dean as he pulled up his discarded underwear. Dean chuckled and tossed the condom into the garbage can before cleaning up his stomach, hands, and his lap. "I'm glad you enjoyed it because I don't think you'll be able to walk or sit tomorrow."

Castiel laughed breathlessly and turned off the stereo before settling into his bed. Dean got up and pulled his boxers back on and turned off the lights, crawling into his own bed feeling happy and sated. He looked over at Cas, the light from the moon playing on his face; Dean could tell he was looking at him in return. "Dean?" Cas whispered.

"Yeah, Cas," he returned quietly.

Cas didn't answer immediately, and Dean could see him pulling on his bottom lip uncertainly. Cas let go of his lips and pulled the blankets up even higher on his neck. "I am really glad you're back," he finally said.

Dean smiled warmly and Cas must've seen it because he smiled back. "I am too." Dean fell asleep easily, his dreams consisting of replaying Cas' voice whispering ' _I want you, too._ ' over and over again.


	14. November 26 - December 7

For the most part, life had returned to normal upon Dean's return to campus. Well, Cas-and-Dean normal, anyways. There were tiny differences, though. Dean noticed how Cas and Meg were spending more time together. But he wasn't jealous. Sometimes when Dean wanted to hang out, or study, or fool around, Cas said he had plans with Meg. Their lunch group was one person bigger- and she sat directly next to Cas, every day without fail. Dean hated her face, detested her for taking away the attention of his best friend. _Definitely not jealous, though._

Dean wasn't paying much attention to the conversation at hand, but Charlie had said something and when Cas responded with a naive, vague expression on his face, Meg tossed her head back and laughed. Something tiny inside Dean snapped, and he rolled his eyes and got up from the table. He ignored the "Dean?", "Where are you huffing off to?", and "What's his problem?"s and walked out of the cafeteria. He shoved by someone he didn't recognize and huffed over in the direction of his room.

"Dean!" He heard Cas shout to him and he turned around. He didn't move or say anything, just let Cas come to him. His face expressed concern and slight annoyance. "What happened?"  


"What does it matter?" Cas furrowed his brow in confusion. Dean sighed again. "Just go back in there with your girlfriend."  


"My-? _Meg_? Is that who this is about?" Dean nodded obviously. "Are you jealous or something?"  


"Jeal- _Jealous_?" Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes, turning around and walking away. Cas followed him. _At least he's still persistent._  


"Dean, that wasn't an answer." Dean kept silent. "Dean!"  


"Why would I be jealous? We're friends, Cas. Are _you_ jealous?" He tossed over his shoulder sarcastically.  


"No, but I also don't have any reason to be-"  


Dean stopped suddenly at the door to their dormitory and turned around to face Cas incredulously. "So I have a reason to be jealous?" Cas looked even more confused and Dean shook his head. "Nice to know, Cas."  


Dean opened the door and darted for the stairs. Cas still followed him. "Dean, please. You're throwing a tantrum." Dean ignored him. _I'm just annoyed, not jealous._ Dean got to their room and practically busted the door open. He hurried to try to shut it in Cas' face, but Cas' hand slammed against the door and held it open. "This isn't over."  


"There's nothing to talk about!" Dean relinquished power over the door and Cas came inside the room. "I'm not jealous. I just hate her, okay? And I don't understand why she's suddenly everywhere you are," he spilled out. He took a deep breath. "It's like you two are closer than we are now." Cas laughed. _This motherfucker is laughing-_ "Okay, yeah it's hilarious. Whatever, Cas, just go-"  


"I'm not laughing to offend you- I'm sorry. It's just- how could you ever think I'd be closer to _anyone_ over you?" Dean looked up at Cas, and he seemed genuine. "You're my best friend, Dean. Don't be thick."  


Dean let out a small laugh, partly in relief. He rubbed a hand over his face. "I'm sorry, Cas. I don't know what's going on with my head lately."  


"Anything you wanna talk about? You've been kinda off since Thanksgiving." Cas sat down on his bed and looked at him seriously. _Well, more serious than he usually looks._  


Dean pretended not to know what he was talking about, and shrugged. "Not really. Nothing's different or anything." Cas peered at him skeptically. Dean shoved his hands in his pockets. "Seriously, nothing's wrong. Trust me."  


Cas seemed to hesitantly accept his answer. "As you wish."  


Dean attempted to change the subject. With a sly grin, he said, "Well, if my wishes are being granted..." Cas chuckled when he realized Dean was unbuttoning his pants. "I can think of something you can do for me."  


Cas bit his lip and spread his legs so Dean could stand between them. "As you wish." Dean sighed as Cas put his hands on his fly and grinned up at him with a mischievous sparkle in his eye. _I love that look. Only for me._ Dean felt an uncontrollable, possessive growl in his stomach that he tried to ignore. Cas pulled out Dean's half hard cock and grasped it lightly and turned his seductive gaze back up to Dean's eyes. "Now, Dean," Cas murmured in a low, rough voice, "I'm sure you were taught to stand at attention." Cas stroked his dick pointedly and a moan came out of his chest helplessly, Dean's eyes rolling back in his head. "That's better."  


"So hot, Cas," Dean whispered. Dean felt Cas put his hot mouth around his dick and he sighed, placing a hand on the back of Cas' head. Cas hummed and started sucking and Dean's knees buckled underneath him slightly. " _Fuck_." With the encouragement, Cas began bouncing his head faster and stroking his hand in time, getting Dean so close in so little time. Dean wanted to get Cas off too, though. So badly. "C-Cas-" Dean tried to get the other man's attention, but Cas just hummed in response- which did _not_ help the situation. "Cas," he tried again. No response, so Dean figured Castiel was taking this as encouragement. Dean moved his hand to the top of Cas' head and pulled his head back by his hair. Dean looked down at his lust-blown eyes and wet, pink mouth and felt himself get even harder if at all possible. Cas' returning smile was wicked and cocky. "Take off your pants and get on top of me."  


Cas groaned. "Yes sir." Dean hurriedly flung off his shirt and stepped out of his pants, laying on the bed. Cas undressed and straddled his hips, leaning down to kiss Dean.  


Dean grabbed the back of Cas' head and kissed him deeper, grabbing Cas' hip with the other hand. He pulled Cas' head away. "Not like that." Cas furrowed his brow and Dean grabbed both of Cas' hips and manhandled him around until he had turned 180 degrees. "I want you to fuck my face while you suck my dick, Cas." He rubbed a soothing hand up and down Cas' spine while still holding onto one of his thighs. "Can you do that for me?"  


He heard Cas sigh and felt him shiver under his touch. "As you wish," he whispered. Dean grinned and scooted further down and pulled Cas' hips back until his dick was hanging in his face. _High school Dean never would've imagined I'd be seeing this view under any circumstances. And I'm sure I never would've expected to enjoy it as much._ Dean grabbed the base of Cas' shaft- also maneuvering the balls out of the way- and started sucking. Cas grunted and hurriedly swallowed down Dean's dick. Dean tried to relax his neck, and he used his other hand to explore Cas' thighs encouragingly. Cas' hips began thrusting lightly, hesitantly. Dean moaned and slapped Cas' ass without thinking twice about it. Before he had a chance to question his action, Cas lifted his head and moaned loudly, thrusting his dick deep inside Dean's throat- almost catching him off guard. "Fuck!" Cas spit onto Dean's dick and began stroking it quickly. "Your mouth feels so fucking good, Dean. _God_ , you like that? When I fuck your mouth?" _I do, I do._ Fuck, _so much._ Cas chuckled before going back to sucking Dean's throbbing cock.  


Dean felt himself get closer and closer. Cas' mouth was so hot and tight, and he was almost insanely turned on by Cas taking control and fucking his throat. He dug his fingernails into Cas' ass to try and communicate how close he was- also trying to hold on for dear life. Cas sucked harder and jerked his hand pointedly and Dean was coming in Cas' mouth. Cas sealed his lips and slowly worked Dean's dick until he couldn't come any more. Cas still wasn't done, so he could focus his full attention on fucking Dean's mouth nice and hard. Getting an idea, Dean moved his hand and stuck his middle finger into his mouth for a second to get wet and then stuck it in Cas' ass. Immediately, Cas was coming deep into Dean's throat with a loud growl.  


"Oh my god!" Cas breathed raggedly. He pulled his sensitive dick out of Dean's mouth slowly and whimpered. "That was..."  


"Fuckin' awesome, right?" Dean said hoarsely. He coughed to try and clear his throat. "69ing is a lot more different when a guy is on top."  


"What do you mean?" Cas stood up and reached for a tissue to clean himself up, handing the box to Dean.  


Dean chuckled and began wiping himself off. "Well, your balls were practically on my forehead."  


Cas' already flushed skin blushed deeply and he looked away shyly. _How can he be so innocent after being so filthy?_ "I'm sorry-"  


"Dude, don't apologize." Cas looked up at him skeptically. Defensively, he added, "Not that I liked it- I just mean, y'know... Don't apologize for something I wanted to do."  


Cas chuckled and he got redressed. "This was a lunch break spent most wisely, I feel."  


"Yeah, if we were on Weight Watchers, I'd say we made the right call. Full meal with less calories!" Dean smacked Cas' ass as the smaller man let out a loud laugh and pushed his shoulder.  


They returned to their separate schedules, and had round 2 later that night. Dean was thankful things had returned to normal, and that nothing had happened with Meg to change what he had with Cas. Because maybe- _and that's a very strong maybe_ \- Dean was actually just a little bit jealous, even if he would never admit that out loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry this chapter took so long. A LOT has happened since I last updated, and we literally just reached the middle of the story. Chapter 14 was more of an intermission because there was too big of a gap between the planned plot story, so I apologize for the shortness of it. But Chapter 15 will be coming out sooner and it'll be a thousand times better- complete with porn AND plot! I hope y'all are enjoying the story, though. I love hearing that y'all are still reading!


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